Tuesday, November 30, 2004

fair enough

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Change

Yesterday, Dada fetched me from the office and I told him that Keiko will be coming with us since it's raining and she's pregnant (wawa...).

When we dropped Keiko off, she texted me and told me that si Dada daw talaga hindi marunong ngumiti.

Yes, it's true that Dada doesn't really smile too much, especially around other people that he is not close to. He also have this habit of not talking. If you talk to him, you can barely hear his voice.

Sometimes, I do get irritated. But, as time passed, I got used to it. Pero, minsan, nahihiya ako sa mga friends ko. They always ask me why he is like that.

I explained to Keiko that. I also told her a lot of things today. How Dada was before, and how he is now.

Before, even if it was raining hard, you have to go to the car to get in. Hindi niya ilalapit yung kotse para hindi ka maulanan.

There were a lot of things that I remember about him that makes me think that he really did love me. Marami lang talagang nangyari kaya humantong sa ganito.

A lot of it were selfishness, miscommunication, and pride.

Carlo asked me today kung ok na kami ni Dada. And I said, we're getting there. Slowly, but surely. He asked me why I still accepted him. I told him, because I can see that he is trying to change.

Change naman is not absolute. Di naman ako humihingi ng milagro.

As the saying goes... "It takes two to tango." hindi lang cya ang may problema. Ako rin.


p.s.
i got 2 chocolate bars from my mommy sa kris kringle today. yum. but not imaginative. if i were the one who received the chopstix and sugar like Pauline, mas gusto ko. It was so funny!

Monday, November 29, 2004

God made another angel



she is the new addition to the family.
Beatriz Dei at 3 months
cute no?

what's in a name?

i have been asked so many times before. Why Rachelle? Where did your parents get your name? Syempre, gusto kong sagutin ng "Malay ko, tanong mo sa nanay ko!" Pero just to be civil, about it, sabi ko na lang, "I don't have any idea."

Marami ring nagtatanong, bakit Achie?

Nakailang linya na ko ng "I don't have any idea." Nagsawa na ko. So, I asked my Mom na.

Sabi niya yung Rachelle Tita Winnie ko raw nagisip nun.

Yung Achie daw... kc nung baby pa ko, they play with my feet (clap them together), and go "Achi, achi, achi...."

Yahoo! May isasagot na ko sa mga nagtatanong.

So there I was, happy to have found the ultimate answers to the mind-boggling questions regarding the very existence of me.

Kaso lang, yung isang classmate ko, tumawag sa bahay:

"er. hello? pde po kay Achie?"

"Chinggai, telefono!" sigaw naman ng nanay ko.

pagsagot ko ng fone, "Bakit chinggai?"

pakshet. ano ba?!


p.s.
si Keiko nababaliw na ata.
i'm broke.



Saturday, November 27, 2004

more about me

1. Pinakagusto mong tawag sayo? -- mommy, nanay
2. Latest addiction? -- blogging
3. Pinakagusto mong vice? -- blogging!
4. Ano ang mga leisure plans mo within this year? -- blogging pa rin!
5. Meron ka bang crush ngayon? kung meron, sino? -- wala eh.
6. Food na gusto mo kainin ngayon? -- KFC Chix n Chips
7. Kung magiging white collared job employee
ka for a day, ano gusto mo? -- presidente ng PS cguro
8. Nakakatawang HS memory -- when i slipped sa canteen
9. Kalokohang ginawa nung college-- cut class, the usual
10. Last Song Syndrome (LSS) mo ngayon? -- how you remind me
11. Unforgettable teacher / prof? -- lahat sila forgettable. pero dra. ramos is a legend sa Letran
12. Fave street food? -- barbequed whatever
13. fave childhood game? -- piko
14. Natatandaan mo pa panaginip mo kagabi? -- hindi
15. Natatandaan mo pa pangalan ng pinakauna nyong family pet? ano un? -- i dont remember the first, pero MY first one was Spiker, a chinese spitz given to me by Tito Deo
16. Time na sobrang nastress ka? -- when i gave birth to Anea and Arolf. I breezed through Anton's.
17. Kung magiging cast ka ng isang show/teleserye/anime, ano un? -- Friends, i guess. or sa Home Improvement, or sa CSI (now that's fab)
18. Paggcng mo, sino ang gusto mong makitang katabi? -- my kids
19. Ang babae physically attractive kapag.. --
malinis, at mabango
20. Ang lalaki physically attractive kapag.. --
malinis, at mabango
21. Pinakagustong movie mo na kung san kasama ang pinakagusto mong artista? -- What Dreams May Come - Robin Williams
22. Favorite line (from a song,movie,poem, etc?) -- None are so blind as they that won't see, obviously.
23. Laging paalala ng magulang na lagi mo namang hnde sinusunod? -- ilagay mo kasi gamit mo sa hindi maaabot ng mga bata.
24. Anong masasabi mo sa huling movie na napanood mo? -- nice
25. Kung may isang bagay kang sasabihin sa
sarili mo, ano un? -- u'r one helluva woman. hehe. as if.

three whatevers

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. achie
2. reich
3. nanay, mommy

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. im a mother
2. im family
3. im a friend

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. being fat (hehe)
2. being negative
3. not being enough for some people

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. love
2. existence
3. statistics, geometry, astrophysics, etc.

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. my bulges
2. people who does not know when to stop
3. people who are so full of themselves

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/GROUP:
1. d'sound
2. coldplay
3. 311

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS @ THE MOMENT:
1. how you remind me
2. love song
3. people are people

THREE person/or sets PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. my family
2. officemates
3. bestfriend Weng

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. fly
2. swim
3. drive

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. blogging
2. watching movies and tv
3. writing down important things

THREE THINGS PEOPLE DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU:
1. i weigh a lot (i dont wanna let u know how heavy)
2. im right-brained
3. i have had 6 operations already? nah. some people know that. (shrug)

err...

Rachelle delos santos and Ronald santos
  • Plan to conceive two related kids.
  • Elect to read periodically.
  • Are Hollywood's hottest couple.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

Lasts

Last Cigarette:
Wednesday morning in my dreams.
Last Alcoholic Drink:
beer, about a month ago.
Last Unforgettable Ride:
Tagal na eh.
Last Kiss:
kanina, si Anton.
Last Library Book:
what the?!
Last book bought:
Harry Potter 1,3,5 on sale
Last Book Read:
American Gods
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:
First Daughter? Wicker Park? Holy crap, i don't remember.
Last Movie Rented:
don't remember. just watched 50 First Dates from a borrowed dvd.
Last Beverage Drank:
water, before that Pepsi Blue slurpee
Last Food Consumed:
chocolate
Last Crush:
haller?!
Last Phone Call:
ronald called about 5 hours ago.
Last TV Show Watched:
Star?
Last Time Showered:
3pm
Last Shoes Worn:
sandals
Last CD Played:
cd ni erika
Last Item Bought:
food
Last Download:
2 weeks ago
Last Annoyance:
kahapon
Last Disappointment:
kahapon din
Last Soda Drank:
pepsi blue na slurpee
Last Thing Written:
answers to these questions
Last Key Used:
house keys
Last Words Spoken:
last words spoken?
Last Sleep:
last night
Last Ice Cream Eaten:
fried ice cream sa 7th floor
Last Chair Sat In:
this one
Last Webpage Visited:
blogger

vacation thoughts

well, i'm on my third day of vacation. since the company i'm working for is an american company, we do not have work during their holidays, in this case is Thanksgiving.

nothing fabulous happened. major reason is i don't have money to spend. in fact, im brokenly broke. i just thought now that way deep in debt. ngayon ko lang narealize. there's my SS loan, there's my credit card, there's a personal loan from my grandfather that i used to pay for my M.A. tuition, there's a personal loan from my former job. yaiks. ano buzz....

well, i dont wanna think about it for now. magpapasko. ayokong maging malungkot ngayon.

so there i was... the first day, i just cleaned my room.

second day, i took care of the kids and watched old dvds with them.

now, i'm planning to put the tree up. just waiting for the kids to wake up so they'll see, and help me. hmmm... last year, they planned to help me.... but it turned out badly, that i ended up screaming at Anton not to eat the apple-shaped ornaments. maybe, it'll be better if i woke them up after.

oops! too late! they're awake already. hay....

tomorrow, i dunno yet... maybe a little more cleaning and what-nots. and worship day.

===============

Dale wanted a birthday party at the house, and not at Popeye's na. He was adamant about a Popeye's birthday party before. I dunno why he had a change of heart.

We were listing down what we needed for the party, and he even thought of the sticks to use on the hotdogs. and he precisely said that the hotdog should be long, and there should be marshmallows and pineapples on top.

He thought of the radio and the cds, the tables and chairs (with table cloth!), the cake (choco flavor with flowers and candies!), the pabitin, the party hats....

He thought of almost everything. And everytime i get home, he tells me... i wanna go to my party now. But i ask him, when is his birthday ba, and he says Dec. 17. and i go, is it Dec. 17th yet? and he goes frowning, no... and i go, so no party yet. hehe.

=============

anton is a different story. he wants a Jollibee party like her ate. period.

=============

p.s.
nagseselos si mama bakit wala daw siya dun sa pictures ko.... hehe.


Wednesday, November 24, 2004

people are people

I noticed that lately, I saw everything negatively.

=============

When I ran out of money,
I always think that it was somebody else's fault.
I kept on thinking, if Ronald would just give me an allowance,
especially for the kids' expenses, maybe I will not run out of money.

But, I also thought that if I didn't
buy my new bags, or that new book...


When I come in late for work, I always think that I won't be if
I have a yaya who will help me with the kids every morning.

But, I also thought that if I woke up earlier...

When I didn't meet the metrics (which is rare),
I always think that if only I wasn't asked tons
of questions by the reps everytime i'm working.

But, I also thought that if I didn't stop
working to do unnecessary things...


When I lose some of my stuff in the house,
I always blame Anton or Dale because they always touch my things.

But, I also thought that if I placed them somewhere
that the kids couldn't reach them...


=============

When Anea dropped down from Top 1 to Top 2,
I blamed her for slacking.

But, if only I sacrificed even an hour of my time to teach her...

When Arolf lost weight, I blamed him for not eating.

But, if only I took time to buy
and cook his favorite food, and feeding him...


When Anton slipped and fell,
I blamed him for being so naughty and hardheaded.

But, if only I moved the furniture...

When Ronald got mad when he didn't know where I was one day,
I judged him for being so suspicious and strict.

But, if only I texted him where I was going...

=============

There were many instances where I misjudged people
and assessed the situation the wrong way...
I am not posting this to let everyone know that I will change.

I made this blog as a reminder of my past.
Something that will make me remember,
and something I can look back at.

And this day, I would like to remember
that I have realized some of my faults.

I don't know what path to take or where it will lead.

I don't know how many bones I have or how many times I said "no."

I don't know if my life will get better or if I will die tomorrow.

=============

One thing I do know...

I am only human.

=============

p.s.
i promised myself that starting today,
i will find something good in people.


p.p.s.
Anea is so smart, sometimes my jaw drops.
Arolf is such a computer geek, i feel ashamed of myself.
Anton is so sweet, sometimes I think that his future gf will be so lucky.
Ronald texted me that he loves me today.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Scheduled Existence

woke up at 4:30
turned on the pc
resized pictures via photoshop 8.0
sent keiko her resized pictures
turned off pc
took a bath
got ready for work
ate 3 pandesals
took the washington jeep at 6:35
took the ayala jeep at 6:50
arrived at the office at exactly 7am
logged in at 7:14
sent emails to forcedesk and the team
processed around 50 emails
break
processed escalated emails
break
made a list of what to discuss during weekly meeting
ate lunch
modified list
blogged a little
conducted weekly meeting
blogged again for a while
will log-off in 45 minutes
will walk from ayala to pasay road jeepney stop
will be home at 5:30 - 6:00
will rest for 15 minutes
will ask anea about her day and her tests
will watch a little tv
will prepare food
will eat with Anea and my folks
will feed Arolf and Anton
will play games in the pc a little
will tell Arolf, Anea and Anton to wash their hands, face and feet
will yell at them if they don't do what i say
will make them sleep
will sleep with my kids at around 9-10pm
will dream that i still have another day to do what i do everyday

p.s.
ang nabunot ko sa kris kringle ay si *******.
ang sarap ng chocnut na bigay ni joseph.
gusto ko ng chocolate cake ng red ribbon.

Monday, November 22, 2004

The Teacher

kahapon nag-oathtaking kami sa Folk Arts. Sabi, attire daw is formal. eh kaso, ala naman akong formal na damit, tsaka, di ko talaga trip. alam ko naman na mass induction yun, so i dont think they will be strict sa attire. nag-slacks na lang ako at blouse, pero sandals pa rin. hehe.

awa ng Dyos, marami ring di pormal. meron pa nga atang naka-jeans dun. pero op cors, meron ding super formal. at sila po ang na-out of place. wawa. pano, nakalong gown ito. hay...

ok naman yung event. medyo magulo kasi daming tao, puno ang FAT, pero all-in-all, masaya din. di ko na tinapos, pagka-oath at announcement ng topnotchers, umuwi na kami ni Mama. sumama din cya, kahit na may bayad ang ticket. hehe.

kakatawa, kasi pag topnotcher ng PNU na, the crowd goes wild, pero ung mga UP at Ateneo, kimi ang audience. dalawa lang yan, masaya kaming PNUers, or wala kaming breeding. hehe.

kaasar nga, kc rating ko 80.2, tapos ung top 10, 88 lang... yung top 1, 91 lang. aba, kung nag-aral pala akong mabuti, abot ko na rin ang top. in fairness, Educ grads pa cla, eh kami 18 units lang ng educ. wla lang. napagusapan lang namin yun ng mga dati kong classmates na naka-80 din.

gist ng story: full-pledged guro na po ako.

p.s.
i'm so busog, i feel im gonna go puke.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Friday, November 19, 2004

Staring At The Keyboard Reflecting On What To Type, When Suddenly...

yes.

ano nga ba? hehe. was engrossed in taking stuff out of my blog
(since it loads ..s..l..o..w..l..y.. na) that i forgot to post something.
and it's time to go!

anyways, keiko has finally found the template she likes
(i hope for good).
and i envy her coz she's not so fickle-minded like me,
and she's contented with her sidebar contents.
me? hell, no. ako pa. i like to constantly learn a few things,
and that includes HTML.

pag meron akong nakikitang bagong script, i always try it out.
if it doesn't work or it looks icky or it makes my page too slow,
then i take it out.

aha! i remember one thing to post na!

last night, okay na nga kami ni anea, si anton naman nakaaway ko.
hay, what else is new? lagi naman akong inaaway ni anton.

i was fixing our closets 'coz they badly needed it.
Anton comes in, starts making a racket. on and on.
so, ang ingay-ingay niya (pramis! di tumitigil ang ingay niya!).
eh, masakit ang ulo ko.... so drama na ko...

"anton, please wag maingay....?"

i pleaded that in, about, 20 times i guess. or more. im not sure.
and syempre naman hindi cya tumigil. at syempre naman nainis na ko.
even me lose patience naman.

i was then fixing his own closet. sa inis ko, i told him,
"uwi ka na nga sa lola mo. dalhin mo na tong mga gamit mo."
of course, when i said that i felt bad. ung feeling na....
basta, ung u wish u haven't?
ang sinagot naman sa kin, mas masakit.

"sige. lagay mo sa plastic ah.
ung maleta ko nasa baba na eh."

that came from my 3-year old son.
from where he got that maleta thing, i don't have any idea.

gusto kong umiyak. it's positive.
my son Anton loves his grandmother more than me.
(not true, but i just want to say that.... been having doubts. hehe.)

it's a long story.

he's always with my byenan kasi. ewan.
it got to the point that when u ask
him who he loves, he says "lola."

now, he enumerates them...
"mommy, lola, mommy, mama, dada, archie."
at least dalawang beses niya kong mahal. hehe.

well, to continue, napikon ako. so sabi ko, ok.
i told Anea to text her Dad to get Anton and his things.
it continued. sumasagot talaga si anton.
di na raw sya babalik and all. di na ko kumibo.
di ko na siya pinansin.

syempre naman, nagpapansin!
sinipa yung mga tinutupi kong damit and all.
then he left the room and slammed the door behind him.
i thought, i'm screwed now.
siguradong magsusumbong kina Mama at Papa. hehe.
and that he did.

then, my mom said i have a phone call.
dyan-dya-ra-ran! his Dad.
"bakit? anong nangyari?"
aba, at pati sa Dada niya nagsumbong.
so sinabi ko. sabi ko rin, sunduin nya muna.

sinundo. nung nasa gate na Dada niya, sabi ko ibababa ko na siya.
man, u should've seen his face. nakasimangot.
ang taray (if this applies to boys)!
ayaw lumapit sa kin.

hay... feeling resigned, kinarga ko na.
sabi ko, "lika na, bati na tayo."

ayun! yumakap. umiyak.

hay... ang tibay. asteeeg.
kung di mo susuyuin, di bibigay.
pa-feeling matapang pa at matigas, iiyak rin naman pala.
(typical man. hehe.)

nung binaba ko na sa gate, sabi sa kin...
"wag mo na ipa-plastic gamit ko ah..."
sabi ko, "ok. balik ka tomorrow ha?"
"yes." (sniff)

bati na kami.


p.s.
yeah, yeah. i know i was wrong.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

The Ripple Effect

oist.

i'm not the kind of mother that everybody thinks i am. hehehe.
far from it. i give them time to study, and time for play naman.
if they have five days of school, they also have 2 days of relaxation.
ang gusto ko lang, do what needs to be done, and you can play all u want...
i think that is fair enough.

i also do not push her into performing miracles.
i am pushing her into doing her best.

i know, i know.

but u know the ripple effect?

if she doesn't do good in elementary,
she won't get into a good school in secondary...
if she doesn't do good in secondary,
she won't get into a good university...
if she didn't graduate from a good university,
she won't get the job she wants.

u know how it is. we've all been there.
hirap matanggap sa isang high-paying job if u'r not qualified.

it's also more of preparation. u know that Arolf has autism.
Who will take care of him if we leave this planet?
It's Anea who is next in line.
Not that i am forcing this responsibility on her.
But she has to understand.
Which is actually, i'm lucky enough,
since she understands perfectly.

everything that i've been doing is
in preparation for when she grows up,
and when her brothers grow up.
that's why even when they were smaller,
i thought them early how to love and
take care of each other, esp bec. of Arolf.

our parents' responsibility is to work, earn, and send us to school.
ours is to study. that is all. i don't think that it's that hard to do.


...and responsibility is part of that ripple effect.


p.s.
She was smiling. We wrestled on the bed.




that's her, giving me the finger.
so, i don't think there will be behavior problems in the near future.

Naaasar Ako.

napagalitan ko kasi si Anea kanina habang hinihintay namin
yung school service nyang dumating.

pano ba naman.
nakita kong gumagawa ng assignment sa hagdan.
nakalimutan daw niyang gawin nung kinagabihan.
eh, wala naman syang ginawa nung gabi.
nanood lang ng tv at nag-computer.

ayokong-ayoko kasing makaugalian niyang mag-cram.
pinapalaki ko kasi siyang responsible for all her actions.
i rarely ask her if she has an assignment.
i want her to accept and learn that she can do things on her own.
that everything has consequences.

the fact that she dropped from Top 1 to 2. it means only two things.
she's slacking, or her classmates are being diligent.

As her birthday wish, she said sana na maging honor sya.
i told her... how can you attain that, if you're not studying?

naaasar ako kasi ayoko syang makikitang umiiyak.
naaasar ako kasi kaya siya umiiyak kasi pinapagalitan ko sya.
naaasar ako kasi i might be pressuring her into doing too much.
That she couldn't handle my high expectations of her.
naaasar ako 'coz i might not be doing something right.

she's growing up a little
bitchy and naughty and bratty and hard-headed.
i don't like it.
but i don't know how to control it.

if i get at mad her all the time, maybe....
and if i let it go, maybe....

i really don't know how to be a mother.
but come to think of it, all mothers have faced this dilemma once in their lives.
i just wish that i overcome this.


i wish she's smiling when i get home.


p.s.
Keiko, it's not my fault.
Aminin mong talagang nakaka-addict ang blog. =)

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Usapang Mag-Pinsan

Of all my cousins, this one is of the third kind. We became close when he went to the US of A. Mejo pareho kc kaming may sira sa ulo. Pano ba yan, lamang ka pa sa kin kc dalawa yung seyo? *grin*

Anyways, miss ko na to. Tagal pa kc bago umuwi dito. This is one of our typical YM conversations:

(chits): ey.
BUZZ!!!
*reich*: m
*reich*: ano gawa mo

(chits): internet?
(chits): hehehe...
(chits): musta na?
*reich*: o nga no.
*reich*: ok lang naman.
*reich*: eto nilalamig.
*reich*: lamig dito office eh

(chits): talaga?
(chits): dito init eh...
*reich*: ngek.
*reich*: bakit mainit sa amerika
*reich*: eh magdecember na ah

(chits): san na nga blog mo?
(chits): ewan... yan din tanong ko nung dumating ako dito eh.
*reich*: http://photophobia.blogspot.com
*reich*: gawa ka rin.
*reich*: hehe

(chits): kung makakahanap ng time...
*reich*: inaupdate ko ngayon yung template eh. ito lang ginagawa ko dito pag after lunch.
*reich*: wag mong iyakan ung mga posts ko jan.
*reich*: cherba lang yan.

(chits): haha...
(chits): so okay na kayo?
*reich*: minsan. ganun naman talaga eh.
(chits): nambebe... ako pa iiyak.
*reich*: haha.
*reich*: di pa ko ginaganahan eh.

(chits): tinawagan ako ni ate tish kanina...
*reich*: pag ginanahan ako, magpopost ako ng tungkol sau.
*reich*: haha
*reich*: o, nasan ba sya jan?

(chits): niloko ko kse si tawins... sabi ko pakisabi na buti pa kako si tatsee, kahit na sa pinas, naaalala ako at tinawagan ako once... siya na nandito inde...
(chits): tawag agad ang loka...
*reich*: haha
*reich*: naman....
*reich*: ano buzz....
*reich*: haha

(chits): hehehe...
*reich*: ano nman sabi?
(chits): wala naman... ***content was deleted for personal reasons.***
*reich*: ****bleep***
*reich*: ala na kong balita dun

(chits): ewan ko kung sino... basta yng nagsponsor kila daddy ko.
*reich*: oh.
*reich*: ano naman ang sagot?

(chits): ****bleep***
*reich*: ****bleep***
*reich*: haha
*reich*: btw, ok lang ba layout ng blog ko? di masakit sa mata?

(chits): ayos naman eh... asking me, i would have used a yellow background and fuschia font... hahah!
*reich*: yuckers. cherba!
(chits): blog title? ano yun?
*reich*: yung none are so blind....
(chits): i c...
(chits): have mine ready for years na...
*reich*: at anong nangyari dito?
(chits): yung title? title pa rin hanggang ngayon...
*reich*: haha
(chits): wanna know what?
*reich*: what?
(chits): Come as you are...
*reich*: kina-career ko lagyan ng music tong site ko. yung may selector.
*reich*: hmmm....

(chits): hahaha...
*reich*: come as who are?
(chits): you...
(chits): come as you are...
*reich*: =)
(chits): as a friend...
(chits): gimme an address for my blog.
*reich*: scarredforlife.blogspot.com
(chits): made it nambebe eh... hehehe
*reich*: haha
(chits): wala bang back ito?
(chits): hahaha
*reich*: pero mas maganda naisip ko di ba?
*reich*: meron!
*reich*: pag natapos mo na yan, u can edit it naman eh
*reich*: weewee lang ako./

(chits): meron na eh.. di na available.
*reich*: ngers.
*reich*: eh di iba.

(chits): beingscarred.blogspot.com
*reich*: ang tagline.... what being scarred is all about? =)
(chits): scarred...
(chits): laki peklat sa noo...
*reich*: haha
(chits): laki peklat sa hita... at tuhod
*reich*: gawin mong parang dictionary:
(chits): scarred...
*reich*: scarred /sca.rred/ noun. cherba
*reich*: haha

(chits): it is like y'know...
*reich*: ano na? what's happenin? set up mo na?
(chits): inde pa... pako ako sa description... wait lang ha...
*reich*: oh. hehe
(chits): No pretentions. You are what you are as I am what I've become. What I am is not much of an importance... No matter what I am, you will think of me differently. It doesn't matter though, because that is how it works. I cannot control how the worm will turn or when.
(chits): di ko malagyan ng ending...
*reich*: haha
(chits): story of my life...
*reich*: ganda na sana eh.
*reich*: wala lang ending

(chits): i know na...
*reich*: ...or when, 'cept it always comes out when the birds are flying about? hahaha
(chits): punctuated it with Shit happens.
*reich*: all the time.
(chits): tapos what do i do?
(chits): view mo na>?
*reich*: magpost ka na.
(chits): dang i forgot my login name na agad...
(chits): sheesh!
*reich*: potah
(chits): nambebe...
*reich*: hehehehehe
(chits): ok... got it...
*reich*: so, isip kang mabuti ano ang una mong ipopost.
*reich*: hehe

(chits): nampootah... pass your paper ma'am may i go out na ako...
*reich*: ok. haha
(chits): hirap naman nito...
(chits): wala bang leakage ng sagot?
*reich*: ano buzz.
*reich*: elementary, my dear watson.
*reich*: how come i did it?

(chits): u are the smart one remember?
(chits): i am the kewl one...
*reich*: no, im not.
(chits): hahaha!
*reich*: if i were smart....
*reich*: then i wouldnt be....
*reich*: i'l let this trail...

(chits): sabi ko smart... inde henyo...
*reich*: hehe.
*reich*: juz tell me what u need to know, i'l tutor u for free.
*reich*: hehe

(chits): ok... like what do i do now?
*reich*: what page r u in first?
(chits): about me page...
*reich*: ano?!!!!!! hahahaha.... have u all made up ur blogdetails and all?
(chits): anoo?
*reich*: di kc umaandar blogger dito.
*reich*: bwisit.
*reich*: internal server error churva

(chits): firewall yan...
*reich*: no, its working fine kanina....
(chits): ohh.... baka nasira ko?
*reich*: well, may nakikita ka bang tabs? like
(chits): yep...
*reich*: template and view ur blog
*reich*: dun ka sa una, to create a post.
*reich*: that's after the dashboard.... ul get a page with the tabs...
*reich*: hello? are u there na?

(chits): wait ha...
(chits): sinagot ko pa yung question eh.
*reich*: hirap ba?
(chits): yep..
(chits): so punta ako sa dashboard?
(chits): so saan ako?
*reich*: click mo yung title ng blog mo, yung blue link.... tapos mapupunta ka sa mga tabs.
(chits): dun na ako.
*reich*: click mo yung 1st tab so u can post.
(chits): nambebe internal server error...
*reich*: after mong magpost tsaka ka na lang magcherba dun sa mga ibang tabs....
*reich*: hahaha
*reich*: sabi ko sau eh
*reich*: sira eh
*reich*: minsan kc ganyan for about 30 minutes....

(chits): ok na.
*reich*: good.
(chits): damn what do i write here?
*reich*: exactly what u wrote here?
*reich*: haha.
*reich*: buti pa jan ok na, dito error pa rin...
*reich*: anong oras na jan?

(chits): 11pm
*reich*: pacific kayo di ba?
(chits): yeba...
*reich*: oh.
(chits): whys?
*reich*: cherbahin mo muna yan, at imi-meet ko kc tong team. hehe. ako kc ang oic for the day.
*reich*: whys?
*reich*: ala lang!

(chits): hookai.
(chits): oic na pinsan ko...
*reich*: gandang first entry, why im ur favorite cousin....
(chits): start of something big...
*reich*: cge.... meeting na.
(chits): ok... ululin mo sila sa ganda mo.
(chits): hahaha...
(chits): show em some skin!!!
*reich*: yuckers. puro stretchmarx to.
*reich*: ew.

(chits): hahaha...

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Not Everything Is About Me

I told myself a gazillion times before....

"no... i won't fall in love with him again."

"enough is enough.
i won't fall for the same crap again and again and again."

"i was hurt. ayoko na. pag sinabi kong ayoko, ayoko."
(to keiko: pag gutom, gutom!)

everybody else was saying.... "give him a chance."

"i gave him a hundred! you weren't there.... you cannot pressure me to give him a chance. i was the one who was hurt.... not once, not ten times.... but unimaginable. not just the women.... not just irresponsibility.... not just alcohol.... not just physically hurting you.... most of all, it was verbal abuse..."

i wanted to shout that to everyone who dares tell me what i should do... but i didn't. everyone's got a right to his/her opinion anyway.

i was hurt. i was battered. i was humiliated. i was put to shame.

when Anea's grades dropped, I realized, how many stupid, selfish times a day have I used the word "I"?

it wasn't just me who was hurt and humiliated along the way.
There was my family.... most of all... my kids.

i realized.... i don't care much about me. i can sacrifice everything for my kids. But no matter how i try, i couldn't see the new 'him'.

it was then when my mom finally told me.... "give him a chance, and try to see that he has changed... I can see that he had... why couldn't you? i know u were hurt, but so has he."

and then i realized, yes he was.

that's when i realized that NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME.

when he picked me up from work that night, I looked at him while he was driving. i was trying to remember what made me love this man. of course, there was his good looks. but there was something else.

i remembered almost everything. the way he parts my hair. the way he plays with my fingers when we were on a jeepney. the times he cooked me lunch every 4th of the month. the times he gave me flowers. the way he looks at men who he catches looking at my legs. and the way he cried, telling me how sorry he was.

but of course, i also remembered how he cried when he told me one night that he does not love me anymore. i also remembered the way he treats me everytime he gets jealous. i remembered the time when he told me he's in love with another woman, and that he wants us to part ways. i remembered how many times i caught him cheating.

God... i was in a bind.

I thought, how could I love this man again? whatever good that he did is being washed away by the hurt I feel.

There was only one thing I thought that I could do.

I prayed.

I told God that He has to help me find a way to see that Ronald has changed, even to some extent. He has to help me see that Ronald is also hurting... everytime I curse at him.... everytime I say that I don't love him anymore.... everytime I tell him that the only consolation I have in life is the thought that it is a known fact that men dies earlier than women, that my pain will only go away when he dies....

Yes, I have become somebody I was not. All the hurt, changed me. I was not the girl he met. I was not the girl who takes everything that was given to her. I was not the girl that he loved.

The next day when he picked me up, I smiled at him.

The next day, I let him touch me.

The next day, I let him kiss me.

The next day, I kissed him back.

The next day....

One proof that God hears me. =)

Of course, there's a lot that needs to change. there will be sacrifices along the way. I will get hurt and so will he.
There will be fights, no doubt about it.

But when Anea became Top 1 in class, and Top 3 in all Grade 3, I realized, it was worth it. No matter how many times I cry at night, when my kids are happy, so will I be.

It will take time, i know.

We still fight to which he apologizes immediately eventhough it was my fault. I still curse at him, to which he just sighs and take deep breaths, and tells me that it hurts him.

He still needs to take a class on Responsibilities 101 and Fatherhood, and a course in Making Your Wife Happy.

But I figured, we're still young... life is learning along the way...

most importantly: we have all the time in world...
TOGETHER.



p.s.
Anea is now Top 2 in her class, and Top 4 in all Grade 3.

Monday, November 15, 2004

I'm hungry.

Yes, I am.... and I dunno what to do. hehe.

I'm getting too fat.

I have to lay off carbo!


p.s.
sometimes, u cannot find anything worthy to share.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Eating A Salad In Glorietta 4 FoodCourt Makes You Grow A Few Years Older

My mom and I watched 2 movies today. The first one was "After The Sunset." I wanted to watch it, and wouldn't miss it for the world 'coz, believe it or not, I had a crush on Pierce Brosnan since he came out on Remington Steele. I might've been in my early or late adolescent years then, I'm not sure. I found him so yummy. Clean cut, tall, a little thin, but mighty fine.

Odd, but I found him more appealing when he grew whiskers! Well, hate to admit it, but yeah, 2-day-bearded men make me weak. I find them so.... sexy?! Yep, that's the word.

I have to mention that Salma Hayek was gorgeous in that movie. Very. The plot was ok, too. A little Bond-ish, but hey, Pierce was there, so I wouldn't expect anything else.

Afterwards, I cannot not watch a Josh Hartnett movie that's playing. No way. I'm in love with his eyes! The saying that the eyes are the windows to the soul? Understatement.

So, we watched Wicker Park... and I almost fell from my seat when the last scene was played. Man.... Josh knows how to make a man look really in-love. Sad to say, men I know............... I will let this trail. =)

Anyway, the gist of this post?

Go out with your mothers from time to time instead of your friends. We need adult wisdom more often than not.

If There's Something You Gotta Do, Do It Right.

I wanna blog. What's the problem then?

I dunno what to say!!!!

This is one of those days, that no matter how much I scratch my head or point my finger to my temple, I cannot think of anything to write down.

This is one of those moments, when Arolf gets to say: "What the?!"

I don't get it. Of all the happy and sad moments that happened everyday of my life, I cannot think of anything worthy to post here.... Cherba naman o.

Hm.....

Sabi ko nga sa title ko, if you're gonna do something, you gotta do it right. What I meant by it? I haven't the foggiest. Haller?! What's wrong with me?

ok, ok....

Today, eventhough it was my restday, I went to the office. The team was gonna give Itay Carlo a surprise congratulatory party. He's now one of the Team Managers for Experian.

You can see that he was really taken aback, and he was so happy... So was I.

Caloi was one of most nakakapikong supervisors on the floor when we went live. How I hated the guy. Kung bakit, wag na lang... haba masyado...

Moving forward... He became my supervisor. Imagine the horror! Imagine the mind-boggling sensation! (The what?!)

Well, he was an okay supervisor... with allowable bad days. You'll know if he's having a bad day if his forehead is in furrow once he gets on the floor.... which is pretty much everyday.

Then came the inevitable (what with our charm and all)... he became an A+ supervisor to us. We call our team "Carlo's Agassi's" which later on, I changed to "Carlo's agASSes," to which he laughed out loud, 'coz I told him that it meant that all of the team members are either big-assed, or such big assholes. I'm one of the latter.

He does not pressure us with stats and saves. Well, he cannot pressure me anything, 'coz I'm the only email rep he's got on his team, and I don't do much. It may seem that he doesn't care at all. Hehe.

So, there we were. Not a day without laughs, curses and whatnots. It was the Dream Team.

Came the day when I had a big personal problem. And he said, "Reich, I'll be at my station if you need someone to talk to." That's the time he became not just my supervisor, but my friend. There was also a time that he told me to file a leave so I can relax. I mean, i never heard another supervisor on the floor who told somebody that. I mean NEVER.

One time, we were doing something "illegal" on the floor, and he kicked our chairs and said, "Mga potah kayo, alam nyo naman na bawal yan... pag kayo nakita ni *blip*, warning kayo agad!"

And then he shouted: "Sana ma-realize nyo na mabait ako! Bakit walang nagmamahal sa kin?!!!!"

Ngayon, nung nagsurprise kami sa kanya, i wrote on the paper that they were gonna give him:

"Ito na ang proof na may nagmamahal sayo." (or to that effect)

We love you, 'Tay.

Manlibre ka na. =)

p.s.
my title has got nothing to do with what i just posted.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Ang Cherba! Bow.

Keiko and I have been thinking....

Thanks to the gay community, we have added a lot of jargon that we find very useful indeed. For one, to cover-up a secret conversation.

The most over-used word in the office is the word "churva," or kung super-jologs ka, "tserba o cherba" will do.

What it means, i don't have any idea.

Like the word "f*ck," you can use it on almost everything.

As an ADJECTIVE: "Ang cherba naman ng damit mo....!"

As an ADVERB: "How cherba-ly you move!"

As a NOUN: "Cherba naman, ano'ng petsa na? Ang tagal naman chumerba ni Cherba."

In this example, note that it has been used thrice. It was also used as a VERB, and as an expression of dismay.

Hay, napakarami talagang use ng word na ito. Pwedeng utter lang na expression of whatever you want: "Cherba!"

or para tukuyin ang isang tao: "Balita ko, cherba na raw si Cherba?"

or sa hayop: "Can you walk my cherba outside? He needs to cherba."

or syempre sa gawain: "Cherba tayo sa Starbucks!"

or kung galit ka sa isang tao: "Ewan! Cherba ka!"

or para may gawin kang milagro: "Cherbahin mo na nga yan para matapos na."

or kung may kelangan kang cherbahin for unknown reasons: "Na-cherba mo na ba yung pinapacherba ko sayong cherba kahapon nung chumerba tayo sa cherba?"

However, you use it, i'm sure everyone else will get it. Ang cherba lang eh, sana na-cherba nyo ang gusto kong cherbahin. Mga cherba kayo!

P.S.
Adjectives are words that describe or modify another person or thing in the sentence.

Adverbs are words that modify.

A noun is the name of a person, place, thing, or idea.


P.P.S.
punta kayo dito:
http://chinapaint.com/eng/games/colorandi.asp

Thursday, November 11, 2004

You Know You're Too Stressed If...

...relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.

...you can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.

...you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

...the Sun is too loud.

...trees begin chasing you.

...you can see individual air molecules vibrating.

...you begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.

...you wonder if brewingis really a necessary step in the consumption of coffee.

...you can hear mimes.

...you believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

...things become "Very Clear."

...you ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

...you begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.

...you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

...you keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even though you are the only one in the room.

...your heart beats in 7/8 time.

...David Lynch comes up to you and says: "Hey! Can I film you?"

...you and Reality file for divorce.

...you can skip without a rope.

...it appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

...you have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.

...you can travel without moving.

...antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

...you discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.

...you begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.

...teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.

...you have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.

...you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

Taken from:
http://www.funnylists.net/jokes.php?action=read&id=974

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Hah! So, You Want To Exchange Insults, Eh?

Well, well, well...

i didn't know that brutal insults are allowed in blogs... leche ka, nanahimik ako rito, ni hindi kita kilala tapos magko-comment ka ng ganon? pak u ka. inggit ka lang kc di ka na marunong ng HTML, berde pa ang brain fluids mo, hunghang!

i did not delete your comment, you fuckwit. Know why? So that all of my friends who will read it will laugh at you.

You've just proven that your kind are so stupid that you can't even go lower than what u just posted. I've been to your site, and man... potah ka... mukha ka pa namang matalino.... naga-aral ka pa man din... well, blogs can be deceiving. i did not comment on your posts, coz i am not like you. my parents have brought me up as a respectful person. my guess is that u'r not just an orphan, but an orphan who grew up to be a lowlife scum.

Did you even think about what you just posted? Did you even think about what my post was about? It was about my 5-year old son, who has AUTISM. I guess you have a liver for a heart, if you do have one.

You should not get into people's business without asking them if you can. God, ur such a shame to your kind.

If we took the collective stupidity of every low-life imbecile known since the evolution of man, it might be close to the complete lack of brain function you possess.

Do us all a favor, and please blow-off that tartar-encrusted shit-hole that you call a brain; you are a puss-filled cyst in the colon of society.

Hurry up and die already so I can piss on your grave!


p.s.
pasencya na sa bumabasa nito. di ko lang napigilan.

p.p.s.
my eyes hurt. i hate being photophobic.

The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time

i was surprised when Caloi, my former supervisor, approached me in the office lobby and gave me a book to borrow. It was "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" by Mark Haddon.

He told me about it before, and I already told him that i'll borrow it. He gave it to me yesterday, with one question before he let go of it: "Kelan mo sosoli pag pinahiram ko sayo ngayon?"

I said, "Two days."

I returned it to him today, with one statement before I did: "3 hours and 27 minutes."

Yes, I read it within 3 hours and 27 minutes straight, with one pee break. It will be an understatement if i say that it was moving.

I'd say that I hated it.

I hated it because I can relate to it.
I hated it because it was an ingenious book, and the writer was brilliant.
I hated it because since it was an ingenious book and the writer was brilliant, I saw Arolf in it.
I hated it because I saw how Arolf's mind works.
I hated it since because of it I saw how Arolf's mind works, I realized that it wasn't how it should work.
I hated it because it made me worry about what will happen to Arolf when he gets older.
I hated it because it made me realize that if Ronald and I part ways, something like this can happen to Arolf.
I hated it because it was supposed to be some sort of a funny book to most people, and I found myself in tears.

There were a lot of reasons why I hated it... but mostly, I hated it because it made me weaker.

People look up to me as someone who has gone through a lot. Whether it may be with my personal life, or with Arolf's condition. I always see to it that people do not see me as someone who cannot take what life gives me. I hate it when I cry in front of someone else. I hate it when I admit that I need help.

But in reality, I do need help. In all aspects of my life.

Anyway, I'd still suggest that you buy and read it, 'coz i know that not everything is about me.

p.s.
my fingers are cold.

Monday, November 08, 2004

...wala lang...

ayan.... mejo nagkaka-hitsura na itong site ko.... hehe.... well, today, wala akong nagawa sa template since busy kami ngayong magprocess ng emails kc nag-training kami for something....

nung weekend, puro naman blogsite ng anak ko at ng pamangkin ko ang inayos ko kc naman super pestering na yung ginagawa nila sa kin.... di ko na ma-take... so, there.

c keiko, super busy kc nahihirapan sa paggawa ng report.

c mai, absent... may Monday sickness ata.

ako, i still need a massage.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

i need a massage

yes, i do.... i've been editing this blogsite for 3 straight days.... in between working and breathing.... i can't seem to decide which color to use for all these stuff.... the only color that i am sure of was my background which is black....

Mai and Keiko are constantly seeing something wrong with it... anyway, i've decided that i'd put whatever color i want, coz whose blog is this anyway? hahahaha.... so, i've decided on blackish. I like it.

there are a lot of things that needs repair, and a lot to add, but sadly, I don't have too much time....

plus, i hurt! everywhere! I feel like i'm gonna be sick.... hay.....

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend...................

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

advisory

I can't seem to find contentment with the look of my blog. hm.... i can't place everything that I want.... well, i've decided to reconstruct it.... but first i have to learn this html thing.... i went to a site called www.lissaexplains.com, and it's neat and easy. some stuff are, anyway. hehe.

plus, my friends, keiko and mai are starting their own blogs, and are busy constructing their own sites.... and are sometimes pestering me on how to do this and how to add that, and of course, what Mai should write on it.

plus, my daughter is also pestering me about her blog. yes, she does have one. she wants me to place blinkies on it. heck, with all the blinkies that she wants on there, her blog will be a blinkie site.

so there, sorry if you don't see any updates on this site for some time. i will be reconstructing it and will be very busy finding the right stuff to put on it.

anyway, hope u guys enjoyed ur halloween... here comes Christmas! yehey!!!! my favorite time of the year.....

ciao.