Thursday, February 24, 2005

Lesson 9: Ang di matawa o mandiri, manhid.

Warning: PG-18

pindot, bilis!

http://uploads.ungrounded.net/196000/196510_Son_of_a_Peach_.swf


(from http://karlaredor.blogspot.com)

Lesson 8: Ang tunay na pag-ibig.

Nung nabasa ko yung post nung dati kong supervisor, bigla akong nalungkot. Naisip ko, pinagdaanan ko yung pinagdadaanan niya dati. Nakakarelate siguro ako, pero isa lang ang sure: kung 'tanga' cya sa paningin ng iba, ano pa kaya ako?

Nung ipinaglalaban ko pa ang paniniwala ko noon na totoo, ang ideya niya na "He may not be perfect but I know that he's the perfect one for me." ang aking naging ritwal na sagot sa aking mga kaibigan na nagsasabi sa akin na isa akong gagang martir na dapat pagawan ng monumento sa kanto ng Libertad.

Marami ring nangyari sa lablyp ko na... ewan. Masakit. Mahapdi. Walang kasiguruhan. Bigla kong naalala yung mga nangyari... yung mga babae... yung mga pasa... yung mga mura... yung mga nasabi... yung mga narinig... narealize ko--masakit pa pala. Syet.

Ang mas masakit, nangangarap pa rin ako ng dilat ang mata. At wala akong magawa. Kasi ganito ang buhay. Hindi lang ito umiikot ng dahil sa akin. Ripple Effect. Ginusto ko to, paninindigan ko.

Iniisip nila na maaayos ang buhay ko sa paghiwalay sa kanya. Pero sa kin, hindi importante na maging maligaya sa pag-ibig kung siya namang ikasisira ng buhay ng iba. At hindi lang isang buhay, kundi tatlo.

Sa tingin nila ay aayos ang buhay ko. Hindi. Dahil sila ang buhay ko. Pag nasira sila, para na rin akong nalunod sa sarili kong luha.

Nandito ako hangga't sa kaya ko pang huminga. Hindi para makaexperience ng kilig o makapagbuntong-hininga dahil sa ligaya. Andito ako para sa tatlong anghel na kami ang lumikha. Para sa akin, ito ang pag-ibig.

At para sa aking dating supervisor: If it doesn't end happily, just make sure that it doesn't end you all together.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Lesson 7: Wag tayong pintasera, magsabi lang tayo ng totoo.

Sa isang taon kong pagsagot sa mga email ng mga kliyente namin, maraming beses na rin akong nakadama ng saya, lungkot, dismaya, pagkainis, at galit. Pero the best ang mga nakakatuwang emails. Lalo na kung merong mga salita o pangalang di mo aakalaing pupwede.

Sa isang linggo, ito ang mga nakalam kong mga nakakatuwang pangalan:

Yerchen Maldjian (ano daw? eto yung mga tipong kapag nasa call ka, ang banat mo ganito: "Can you spell your name for me?" sabay wishful thinking na sana hindi siya Indian.)

Onesimus Azeez Guice (guice ko day. Azeez, ang yaman nito!)

Michael Cupples (ang cute di ba?)

Allen Arakaki (buti na lang, hindi Arakiki kundi umiyak na ko sa kakatawa)

Besona Mbanyuy Sikod (See name #1)

Matt Nighbor (sarap sigurong maging kapitbahay nito)

Johnson Johnson (parents nito walang imahinasyon, o mahilig lang talagang mag-pulbo)

Eto, winner:

Tae Oh (at eto po ang email address niya: Tae@tae.net, please lang wag kayong tatawa, o padalhan siya ng SPAM)

Actual emails naman po:

I sent the enfold no results. (kaya naman pala eh.)

Have changed E mail address. Former address became lost 'forever'. Either need to use new address or start over as if I never was herebefore? (kawawa naman ang email address mo.)

please cancel this i dount want it. (spell it as you say it.)

Please cancel my contract with you effect immediately. (sorry, wa epek.)

Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?Have you ever wanted to impress your girl with a huge cumshot? (ah... eh....)

How do I quite your service so that my credit card will not be charged. (not quite.)

Please cancel my account.Thanks Emily Do not send me any books (um.. di po kami Barnes & Noble)

WANT TO CANCLE MY SUBSCRIPTION. I ONLY WANTED THE FREE TRIAL OFFERAND MY FREE CREDIT REPORT. PLEASE ONLY CHARGR THE $5.00 FOR THE CREDITREPORT. aGAIN I WISH TO CANCLE.

To Whom it may concern, I did not know I odered that. I was just tring to look at my creditreport. Will I be charged for this? If so conceal my orderimmediately.

(lahat po ng pwedeng spelling ng 'cancel' nakita ko na)

I have been trying to get my free credit report from 4 days. Everytime Ifeel out all your quistions and submit them, you strate me over at thebeganning until I get tried and quit asking for it. If you are going tosend me one, there please do so, for I am tired of filling out your questions. (hay...)

I am told there are things I need to see I dont know about yet!!! (i am also told that there is nothing to be known for.)

I wont to end my free online credit report thank you. (eh, ano ngayon ang gusto mong gawin ko?)

I WANT TO NO WHY MY INFO HAS NO T COME UP YET (because you clicked on 'no' instead of 'yes'?)

to whom it concerneds: i did not ask for a credit report. i will notpay you a red cent for this report. i rejected at the time. john block (pdeng blue? naniniwala na ko. surname mo palang sigurado na kong ni-reject mo talaga.)

I have emailed you 2 time about canceling this serve, is there aproblem. I have copied both emails and will call my lawyer if thismatter is not taken care of right away. (i got served!)

cancel my membership!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't make sence out of any of it. (how can you make sense of it when you spell it with a 'c'?)

I was trying to help my oarents get their FREE creditreport. They do not want any other service. Becuaseof a problem we were not able to access his report.We were told that someone from IT would be contactingus. If there isanything to do with a service pelasecancel it. (tinginkosiraangspacebarniya.)

Washington Mutual may be the biggest home loan company; but they are notnice people who engage in predatory lending, with really lousy andunresponsive customer service; and they have the creditability of atoad. (ribbit!)

I would like to know why i can not recive my roport throught yall. Please contact me asap!!! Thanks Much, Chaka (ang chaka mo kasi kaya di ka makakuha ng roport!)

Disclaimer: Not intended to humiliate or cause serious brain damage.

Lesson 6: Sometimes even a line or two can make everything true.

Visions filled my head
I felt so trapped instead but
Trapped doesn't seem so bad
'Cause you were near

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Lesson 5: Am I Just Imagining Things?

MYY: What would you rather do, read a book or watch a movie?

Bochog: Read a book!

MYY: Why?

Bochog: Because mas marami kang matututunan.

MYY: Meron ka rin namang matututunan sa movie ah.

Bochog: Kasi... kasi...

MYY: Ano yung nagagamit mo sa pagbabasa ng libro na hindi mo masyadong magagamit pag nanonood ka ng movie?

Bochog: Mata?

MYY: Er...

(haha.)

MYY: It starts with the letter 'I'.

Bochog: Isip?

MYY: Nagiisip naman tayo kahit nanonood ng sine eh. Mas gumagana ang iyong i...

Bochog: Intelligence?

MYY: Hay... Im...

Bochog: Im... portance?

MYY: Ima...

Bochog: Imagination!

MYY: Tumpak! Mas gumagana yung imagination mo, kasi kapag nanonood ka ng sine, nakikita mo na kung pano nangyayari yung story. Pag sa libro, kailangan mo pang imagine-in kung pano sya nangyayari... ano kaya ang hitsura nung bida... kung sa kanan ba siya dumaan... kung ano'ng kulay ng damit niya.

Hay... I think this will be a long day...

Bochog: Mommy! Ako lang ang nakaperpek sa Science!

MYY: Ano? Perpek?

(irritated)

Bochog: Ako lang ang naka ferfek sa Science!

MYY: Haha. Ferfek? May ep depek ka na?

(rolls eyes in dismay)

Bochog: Ako lang ang nakasagot lahat ng tama sa Science. Masaya ka na?

Yes, anak. Masayang masaya.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Lesson 3: The Fear of the Almighty.

Jed, a nephew, is now confined because of pneumonia. Master Yoda Yadda should have gone there with her parents when Letku, a 4-yr old student, came to the house and said that MYY cannot possibly come to the hospital. She can if she brings Letku with her.

Because MYY doesn't want Letku to be exposed to diseases roaming around the hospital, MYY agreed not to go and visit Jed. Instead, MYY talked to Jed about the fear of the Almighty.

(Letku was crying and punching MYY because she does not want to bring Letku)

MYY: Tama na ha. Masakit na. Masama ang manakit, magagalit sa yo si Jesus.

Letku: Panget si Jesus. Panget si Jesus.

MYY: Ay, bad yan. Di ka ba natatakot kay Jesus?

Letku: Hinde.. kasi panget si Jesus. Hindi sya pogi.

MYY: Ay nako... sabi ko sayo bad yan eh... Di mo ba alam na si Jesus, anak ni Lord? Si Lord yung gumawa ng mundo.. siya yung gumawa ng tao... kundi kay Lord, di ka pinanganak...

Letku: Hinde...! Galing ako sa tyan ni Mommy! Dun sa sugat sa tyan! Eh. Eh.

(mahilig magsabi si Letku ng 'eh.')

MYY: Oo nga. (pano ko ba ie-explain to?) Pero... basta. Wag kang makulit. Pag sinabi ni Master na bad yun, bad yun!

Letku: Panget si Jesus.... panget si Jesus... eh. eh.


Almost all Masters produces a villain. Like Lord Voldemort and Darth Vader, Master Yoda Yadda thinks that Letku will be the death of her yet.

Lesson 2: Cheating is Stealing

Part 2 of Bochog's pratice for the excellence exam. If this persists, I have to call this the Bochog Chronicles.

Master Yoda Yadda: Maybe one of the panelists will you ask you this: "
What if your teacher caught you cheating?"

Bochog: Uh... um... i'm gonna say... i'm sorry??

MYY: Er... Nope. I think if I were the panelist, i'm gonna flunk you right away for that.

Bochog: di ko alam eh. Yun lang naman eh. Sorry naman talaga ako.

MYY: I think the best answer to that is only a 6-word sentence.

Bochog: Hm... I am really, really, really sorry?

(hahahaha...)

MYY: Are you trying to be funny? Come here!

(After 2 minutes of a tickling match...)

MYY: Ok. The only good answer I can come up with is this: She won't, because I don't cheat. How's that?

(eyes bulging)

Bochog: Ang galing...! Oo nga!

MYY: Now tell me honestly, do you? Have you ever cheated?

Bochog: Yung isa ngang classmate namin, nahuli ni Miss, tumitingin sa notebook.

MYY: I'm not asking about your classmate, though.

(looking at Bochog with a raised brow)

Bochog: Hinde no! Never! Nakakatakot pag nahuli ka.

MYY: It's not just fear. Although it is helpful to one's soul to have fears. Don't ask me what I meant by that, it's too complicated for you now.

Just remember this--It is better for you to fall, than fly by using stolen wings.

Bochog: Hindi naman ako nagnanakaw eh.

MYY: Cheating is stealing. Not just from your seatmate, but from your own dignity. You steal something away from yourself. And if you yourself steals something from your own, then what would that make you?

Bochog: A pile of bile dung?

MYY: Er... that, too. But. Um.. Uh... Just... don't cheat, ok?

Sometimes, punchlines like this can make Master Yoda Yadda lose her thoughts and composure.


Friday, February 18, 2005

Lesson 1 : Some things that even smart kids need to learn

Foreword: Naisip ko lang, teacher ako. Kelan pa ako magsisimulang magturo? Kung hindi ngayon, kelan? Wala lang. Nonsense. Pagbigyan nyo na ko.

Let's roll...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bochog was accepted to take their school's excellence (oral and written) exam. Master Yoda Yadda is helping Bochog to answer possible questions of the panelists.

Master Yoda Yadda: What if the panelist will ask you, "What if your parents broke up?"

Bochog: I will feel sad.

Master Yoda Yadda: it is only but normal to feel sad. But, you must remember that the earth still revolves even if you die.

Bochog: Di ko na-gets.

Master Yoda Yadda: Ako rin eh.

(laughter fills the room)

Master Yoda Yadda: what I meant was, if your parents broke up, you should continue doing what you were doing. If you were doing your best in school, an unhappy event should not end your dreams. Remember what I always tell you?

Bochog: Hm.. ang dami mo kayang sinasabi sa kin...

Master Yoda Yadda: Yung lagi-lagi... like... kapag naiinggit ka sa kapatid mo pag di ka nabili ng nanay mo ng chocolate...

Bochog: Ah! Not everything is about me.

Master Yoda Yadda: Precisely.

Bochog: Mahilig ka rin magsabi ng precisely.

Master Yoda Yadda: Precisely!

(laughter fills the room)

Master Yoda Yadda: Sabi ko nga, not everything is about you... to understand it better, let me tell you a concept that my philosophy teacher taught me. Have you heard of the Ripple Effect?

Bochog: ano?!

Master Yoda Yadda: Ripple Effect. Alam mo ba kung ano yung ripple?

Bochog: Ah! Yung sa tubig. Kapag may binato ka?

Master Yoda Yadda: Precisely! Like the Ripple Effect... everything that you do, affects others. Now, if you only thought of yourself, like for example, when your parents broke up, and you thought of how painful it was, you wither away and feel sad all the time, affecting your studies...

If you do not do good in school, you will fail.

If you fail, your brothers might think that it is also okay to fail, and they too, fail.

If they fail, your parents will fight and think that it will be each other's fault, and...

(interrupting)

Bochog: Gets ko na, gets ko na.

Master Yoda Yadda: Do you know now what you must do if your parents break up?

(contemplating)

Bochog: iiyak lang ako kapag gabi na. pag umaga na, magaaral na akong mabuti.

Master Yoda Yadda: Fair enough. Do you have questions about what I said?

Bochog: Hm. Ano yung wither?


That, is a lesson for some other day.


Related and Further Readings:
http://www.gaia-mind.com/Creative/creative_TheRippleEffect.htm

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Supporting People




hindi ko alam kung bakit ako napadpad sa isang call center. marahil uso eh. tsaka bali-balita, malaki raw ang sweldo kapag dun ka nagtatrabaho.

nung kinailangan ko na ngang maghanap ng trabaho (halos dalawang taon po akong bakante at naga-aral ng M.A. in SPED sa UP), naisipan kong magpost ng resume sa Jobstreet. Nakita ko yung CC where i now work at nag-apply ako.

ilang araw lang, nag-email na. sabi tawag daw ako para sa isang phone-in question (interbyu ba). medyo kinakabahan ako nun. kasi alam ko dapat eh henyo ka sa pag-ingles.

pers queshun: what is customer service?

ako: ah... ah... (wala bang choices?) customer service is providing cherbaness... sori di ko na maalala kung ano kasunod nun.

second queshun: do you know anything about the call center industry, what we do?

ako: ah... ah... receive calls from clients?

ok, ok... hindi ako ganun katanga. natanggap ako dito, di ba?

babaeng hitad: ok, you can come here on ___ for a written exam, you need not dress up but i suggest you bring a jacket because it gets cold here.

EXAMINATION DAY

syempre, kinakabahan ako nun... ngayon lang po ako mage-employment exam sa tanan ng buhay ko... sa unang trabaho ko, hindi ako nagapply dun, hindi rin ako nag-exam... panel interview lang... nung tapos na nga yung interview eh, para akong tangang nagtanong ng:

is that it? am i accepted?

(smirk) yes.

don't i have to answer a written exam or something? (yes, i'm so naive)

(dumbfounded) you haven't taken the exam?!

(duh! kaya nga ako nagtatanong, hunghang!) not yet, sir.

I'll go check.

Si hunghang nga pala, i found out, is the Area Manager. Yaiks!

In short, di na raw nila ako pinagexam kasi magaling ang lola mo. (chos!)

Balik tayo:

pinaupo kami sa iba't ibang istasyon... wala po ata silang testing room... syempre the usual no cheating policies were announced. We were given test papers. I breathe a sigh of relief nung nakita kong puro english lang ito.

Marami-rami rin kaming nag-test... Medyo masama ang pakiramdam ko nun. Akala ko no match ako sa mga kasama kong nag-test. Eh, pucha, english spokening dollars ang mga loko... ang daming konyo... hehe.

well, oh well, hindi po pala madali. hehe. medyo nakakalito rin kasi halos pareho ang mga sagot.

tapos chinekan na yung mga papers. punyemas, tinawag ang mga pangalan ng halos lahat sa mga konyotik people na andun, at ang sabi eh,

follow me.

lagot. hindi ako nakuha. naisip ko cguradong cla yung mga pumasa. meron akong instinct na i-untog na lang ang ulo ko sa mesa. kakahiya!

maya-maya, dumating yung isang babae...

Congratulations! you passed the exam.

lahat kami parang...

potahng mga konyo yun... kala mo kung sinong magagaling, mga bagsak pala!

haha. this goes to prove na hindi lahat ng panget eh bobo.

pagkatapos nun, follow me na naman ang drama nung babae.

kami naman parang sumusunod sa pied piper.

next stop: typing exam!

pakshet! nagulat ang lahat. di namin alam na may typing exam pala.

pero, kampante naman ako kasi alam ko na medyo mabilis akong mag-type. 30-35 wpm ang passing mark. naisip ko, mahirap ata. kaya ko ba to?

ang wpm ko? 54.

pagkatapos nun, naghiwa-hiwalay na kami. merong mga pinauwi na. ako naman, pinag-stay. pwede daw ba akong maghintay for another interview.

lekat. gutom na ko eh. kalahating araw na kong andun, ni hindi man lang ako makainom ng tubig.

ok. (smile)

namputsa. alas sais na, wala pa ring nagiinterbyu sa kin.

restless na ko syempre. asar na rin. masamang gutumin si Achie.

Came this guy, pasipsip-sipsip pa sya ng iced tea.

(nananadya ka ba?)

Rachelle?

yes.

Follow me.

What's with HRD people and the words 'Follow Me'?

Pasok kami sa isang conference room.

How are you feeling?

(walang kurap, walang smile) I'm.... starving?!

(dumbfounded-felt-like-an-ass-look) uh... ok... let's get this over with so we can finish early.

questions were fired. nothing like those stupid ten year plan questions, though.

Ok. Since, you're already starving, i'm gonna exempt you from the phone sims (holding up a tiny paper). Don't tell anyone since I rarely do this. Somebody will call you if you are accepted, which I'm pretty sure you will.

Ok. Thanks.

Umuwi na ko. Hapong-hapo. Gutom na gutom.

Pagdating ko ng bahay direcho ako sa kusina. Uupo pa lang ako para kumain ng biglang...

Rrrringg....!

Potek naman. Si Mama ko na ang sumagot. Yung inapplyan ko daw. How fast!

Accepted daw ako, if I can come to a contract signing churvaness.

August 25 nagsimula ang kalbaryo ko. Ni wala sa hinagap kong naisip na...

I will never be the same again.

The rest is history.

Yung mga pictures sa itaas? Bukod sa pera, sila lang ang rason kung bakit andito pa ako. (pasensya na sa ibang walang pictures, you know who you are... wala akong mahagilap eh.)

Bes

nakilala ko siya nung nasa kolehiyo pa lamang ako. sa Letran din sya nagaaral nun. akala ko pa nga suplada. well, suplada naman talaga cya. di naman kami ganun ka-close nun, kasi may kanya-kanya rin naman kaming mga barkada.


di ko alam kung kelan nagsimula o kung pano. di ko na matandaan. napansin ko na lang ang sarili ko na hinahanap-hanap cya. parang nagiging kulang ang araw kapag hindi kami nakakapag-usap.

ang nakakatawa pa, halos pareho kami ng naging storya ng buhay. nung nabuntis ako habang nagaaral ako, buntis din pala cya (kay Daniella, inaanak ko). nung nabuntis ako kay Arolf, buntis din cya (kay Mikee). Hindi po. hindi namin pinaplano ang pagbubuntis. aksidente po ang lahat. (haha)


ang masaklap, nung nagkaproblema ako sa lablyp, ganun din sya. ang siste, naging hingahan namin ang isa't-isa. iiyak ako, iiyak din sya. sya ang nagpupuno sa kakulangan ko. siya ang nagpapaalala ng mga bagay na nakalimutan ko na. siya ang nakikinig. siya rin ang umuuntog sa kin at kumukurot sa braso ko para ako ay magising.

isang araw, na-realize ko, siya lang ang bukod-tangi kong kaibigan na hindi ako iniwan. kahit nasa Muntinlupa sya at nasa Pasay ako. kahit na isang beses lang sa isang taon kami minsan magkita. di niya pa rin ako nakakalimutan.


Tinawag ko siyang bestfriend, at hindi lamang ito naging totoo sa salita. minsan, nagkakainisan, lalo na pag umiiral ang pagka-secretive niya. naiintindihan ko. lahat naman tayo kailangan din natin ang paminsan-minsan na pananahimik. kasi, madaldal na nga ako, pati ba naman sya? har-har.

pero lahat ng bagay sa min, hindi pwedeng maayos... kuntento na kami sa mga nakaw na sandali... kuntento na sa tatlong oras na pagsasama habang ninanamnam ang isang tall frap sa Starbucks.


Ngayon, lampas sampung taon na, magkasama pa rin kami... di laging nagkikita... di laging naguusap... hindi ko pwedeng sabihin na lahat ng tungkol sa kanya ay alam ko... ni hindi ko nga alam ang peborit color niya (pula ata)... hindi ko alam kung gano sya katangkad (4'11 cguro)... hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang mga pangarap niya... hindi ko saulo ang celphone number niya (basta alam ko One of Them sya)... hindi ko rin alam kung ilang beses na syang naospital... o kung minsan ba siyang napatira sa Palawan...



isa lang ang alam ko.

mahal ko sya, at mahal niya ko.

(at kundi lang kami parehong malandi, mapagkakamalan mo kaming mag-syota)

p.s.
teka, alam ko nga po pala ang password ng email niya.

p.p.s.
kaya po ganyan ang pictures niya, kasi stolen shots po yan. hindi po siya mahilig magpapityur.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

scarface



chickboy.





mukang preso.





pero love changed it all...





Hehe.

Angels Of Mine


When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of mine






I look at you, lookin' at me
Now I know why they say the best things are free
I'm gonna love you, you are so fine
Angel of Mine






How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm different now, you helped me grow
You came into my life sent from above
When I lost all hope you showed me love
I'm checkin' for you boy you're right on time
Angel of Mine





...Angels of Mine...

nice.

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat.
Don't lie.
Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!
Don't regress.
Don't live in the past.
Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won.
Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what youcan be.
Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Go on that trip.
Don't postpone it.
Say those words.
Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.
It is true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old.
Just grow YOU!
When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your lifethat you'll never get back.
Your time is your life.
That is why thegreatest gift you can give someone is your time.
Relationships take timeand effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essenceof love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much wegive of ourselves.

- Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

everything is you

i've been thinking of a way to phrase it
seem to never find the words to say it
but it's true to say
i've been occupied by other things
how could i think that you wouldn't notice
the absence of our closeness

realizing now
i will never let it happen again






now i realize
that you are my everything
and without you here beside me
it's like an angel without it's wings

and now i realize
that you are my everything
now i know it
should've shown it
and now i realize that you are my everything






as i sit here contemplating
'bout our love that's slowly fading
so insensitive
didn't hear you calling out for me...
if i could change the past i would do
everything to show i appreciate you
open up your heart

let me help you fall in love again
my friend, 'cause now i



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now i realize
that you are my everything

and without you here beside me
it's like an angel without it's wings
and now i realize
that you are my everything
now i know it
should've shown it
and now i realize
that you are my everything



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...YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING...

Monday, February 14, 2005

Love Links

I Love You in a hundred languages.

Love Quote Generator, Click Here.

Kissing Explained

Magnetic Poetry

Love Potions

Happy Hearts Day!

To Dada:









Sayang di niya to nakikita. hehe.

Aha!

It's cake. Haha. I called Dada a little earlier. He asked me what flavor cake I wanted. I said wag na lang. I just want him to come home agad after his meeting.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I forgot to mention that last night we went to church. All 5 of us. Mama said, how nice that we are going as a family.

Came the bad part.

Anton exclaimed during Mass: "Kurdero ng utot..." in a sing-song voice.

Of course, I got mad. I asked him, "yan ba tinuturo sa yo ng lola mo? tatawag nga ako dun, tatanungin ko." He obviously got angry, because I suddenly felt his hand on my cheek.

SLAP!

My 4-year old son slapped me. I went numb. I felt like crying in front of all the people inside. It didn't stop there. As I let him go, I told him that he will not go back to the house again... and that he will stay with his lola from now on. He hit me again on my tummy, and run to his Dad.

Anea just hugged me, and tried to console me.

When we got in the car, I told Dada what happened. He told Anton off.

When we were getting out of the car, he was also trying to go out. I told him that he can't and he'll live with his lola from now on.

When we were in the house, I told my parents what happened.

5 minutes and the phone rang. It was Dada telling me to wait for Anton downstairs. Anton was crying and wanted to come home. When he got there, he didn't come up to me. He was standing near the stairs trying to get his jumper off. Of course, he couldn't do it. My mom asked him to come and she'll take it off. He shook his head no. His back was turned. I can see that he won't give up.

I came over and took the jumper off. He did not say anything to me. He talked only to my mom.

We were watching Indiana Jones on HBO. Next thing I knew he was later on sitting beside me, his head resting on my arm. Next, he fell asleep on my lap.

Today, I called the house, he told me that he is playing the computer and that he loves me.

I do not know what I am going to do with Anton.

happy valentine's day.

I promised myself that I will be posting mushy things for the whole week. Here is the first installment. Though it's far from mushy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

hay... valentine's day... to tell you the truth, i do not remember a single memorable valentine's day that i have spent with my Dada... pathetic.

Dada is not the romantic type, unlike the guy that this blog always mention. I always read her blog not just because she makes me smile with her posts, that she writes like a journalist (hehe. that's because she is one, I read her articles from Inquirer), that she is too many ways an addict to some things, but also, because she is addicted to love.

She's lucky to have her man, and I, like most women, envy a good relationship. Minsan nakakainis. haha. Sometimes I think, why didn't God give me someone who's sweet enough it's icky? Yeah, yeah. I'm one of those women who's KSP.

I was born sweet, much to a lot of people's surprise. First impressions of me are always mataray, masungit, ho-hum. But of course, first impressions are just that.

My first impression of Dada was just this--gwapo.

Tangos ng ilong, ganda ng mata kinda gwapo. My classmates in elementary all knew him. He rarely goes out, but we can see him going out sometimes on his bike. We were like brazen hussies gawking at him. Sometimes, going to their street just to catch a glimpse of him.

My classmates found a way to get his number. We called him up. I talked to him and asked him who he was. He said something like, "Ako si superman." Talk about major ewness. Well, back then, it was cool. So, I said... "Ah...ako naman si wonderwoman." or something to that effect. It was hilarious, coz the whole brady bunch was laughing behind my back, and giggling.

What a nightmare first impression.

When I turned high-school-ish, I always watch them play basketball in the street. Pero, ang akala niya noon, siya yung pinapanood ko... hinde!!! I actually, kinda, got over him for sometime. May mas pinagtrip-an ang mga mata ko... pero secret yun at ako lang ang nakaka-alam.... everybody thought, it was still Dada that I was looking at. Kaso lang, the guy was much older than us. And, he's too thin. So, sandali lang yung pinansin ng mga mata ko...

Back to Dada. My friend, Ja, thought of a way for us to talk on the phone again. How, I don't remember. I think, it's because Ja was his schoolmate. Since then, he would call me on the phone, with me not saying anything, and him making all sorts of kwento.

This went on for years.

He had a girlfriend then. I was also attached. When he learned of this, I think he got a little pissed. I can tell by the sound of his voice, and by the way he slightly criticized June (that's the boyfriend).

June was the brother of my sister-in-law. He's far from being in league with Dada. He's sweet, yes. But he's a mechanic, who's always dirty, and he's chocolate brown. Don't get me wrong. I loved the guy. It's difficult not to love someone as sweet as him.

I was also being courted by another guy before June. He's my childhood friend which we call Bok-bok. I dunno why, though. Just like June, Bok was sweet and thoughtful. I was supposed to give Bok a chance when something he said made me think twice.

When my parents knew about June, all hell broke loose. Patay. They did everything just to keep him away from me. Maybe because I'm just 15 then (yes, maaga akong lumandi), I got over him fast enough. Well, Dada was there to help me. No... let me rephrase that. I was there to help Dada out.

When my parents where trying to break the two of us up, Dada was there making me laugh. June was furious. We talked on the phone for 2-3 hours. His girlfriend was then vacationing somewhere.

When I found that I didn't have feelings for June anymore (bilis! ang mga bata talaga), I broke up with him finally. I know he got hurt. He didn't have a girlfriend for so long after me. This made me feel guilty, but...

Dada and her girlfriend split up the day after June and I did. It was horrible. He called me, crying. I didn't know what to do. I haven't heard a man cry before. And this happened when we were so close to falling in love. I know I have.

It was so pathetically sickening. If ever there is such a feeling.

I got mad at myself as to why I have fallen for him, when it is clear that he is still in-love with his girlfriend. As his gf is at the same university as I was before, I tried talking to the girl. Asking her to give Dada another chance (pathetic, pathetic). It came to the point that I told the girl that I've fallen for Dada, and naaawa ako sa kanya.

To no avail.

Dada, then always went with me. And I with him. To console him. Nakakainis. Ang tanga-tanga ko. The time came that I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him not to talk to me anymore. To stay away from me. But it was futile. He would go to the house, and we'll talk in the garage for hours on end.

At last, when everything was clear and he got over his girl, I was so thin. I was head over heels in love. Is there another good word for pathetic?

One time, he asked me for a, er, date. He said he will be buying a book. I asked my mom, and she said yes, but not without counsel. Note: long afterwards, i found out that she thought Dada was doing June and I a favor. Maybe asking me out when it was June and I who will see each other. haha.

We ate halo-halo in the foodcourt of SM Makati. He looked so clean. He even told me that he just came from the dentist. Hm... clean teeth means fresh breath. haha.

Nothing special afterwards. He still called me at home.

Came the day that I decided to become stupid. I was at my cousin's house, making kwento. My cousin and I made a bet that whoever had a bf first will buy the other a red Toyota. Geesh. Of course, I lost. And still in debt to my cousin.

Dada, called to my surprise. I answered the fone. But he asked for my cousin. So, I gave the fone to her. But he was actually looking for me. This was not funny to her, btw, since she was then snoozing (I always have this snooze effect on her.... in short, i'm boring).

There we were, talking like crazed idiots. Well, he's the only one crazed coz I was silent the whole time. Then suddenly, he said that he is in fact courting me. Wait, wait!!! Now, when did this all start? Hahaha. I dunno! So, I said, oh yes, let's get you to bed, baby!

Hahaha. I wish. Now, where was I? Oh yes.

I said yes right away. I don't believe in waiting. And look where it got me? haha. After I said yes, he drifted into this babbling state of making me aware that he hates girls who wears make-up... that I can't wear a short skirt or anything revealing if he is not with me... that I can't wear nailpolish except for clear... that I can't talk to another guy... that I have to tell him where I was all the time... that... potek. I had the urge to bang my head to the nearby study table.

I thought, I can't believe this guy! But, did I follow him? Oh yes. I know I'm a pathetic loser. Yes, I am.

That's a Sunday, August 4, 1991. Doom's day. Hahaha. We have been together for almost 14 years now. Been married for 10 years this coming April 18.

Sa hinaba-haba ng pinagsamahan namin, I couldn't get him to become the hopeless romantic that I am. He's not into gifts. He's not into movies. He's into something else, though. Haha.

So, today, Valentine's day, I don't know what will happen. I am not expecting a gift. Nor a date. Though I received a text at exactly 12:47am.

He maybe will bring something from Jollibee. A red heart-shaped balloon, or ice cream (hope it's coffee crumble), or a red ribbon cake. That was his routine since he started working at Jollibee. He tends to bring me the goodies that Jollibee gives away. Hahaha.

Do I mind? I'd be a hypocrite if I tell you I don't. Sometimes, it makes me sad that he could not even take time off to buy me something, that he could not even think about something that I would like. That his creative juices does not flow for me.

Sometimes, I ask myself why I fell in love with Dada. Was it just because he was good-looking? I think that was the first part.

I fell in love with him because he made me feel loved the only way he knows how. And I felt it even if some people can't see it. It was because he cooked for me whenever he can. He made me eat even if I have had enough, even spoonfeeding me. He gave me a single rose coz he didn't have any money left. He took care of me when I was pregnant with Anea. cleaned all the mess I left when I was barfing with morning sickness. Made me drink milk even if I don't want to. Cleaned my bloodstained sheets. And battled his way to change Anea's second name to include mine.

Those were the days.

Am I asking for him to change? No, I'm not. If he changed, then there's no sense in keeping a blog since everything posted here will be too good to be true.

I guess that time will never come. But who's complaining? =)

Friday, February 11, 2005

i hurt

potah. sakit ng katawan ko, ng ulo ko... lahat... ultimo buhok ko ata sumasakit... nampotahng USAA Credit Monitor yan!!!

ang malas pa, kahapon biglang sumakit yung throat ko... hindi yung tonsils.... basta sa may throat, at nung kinapa ko, may bukol... hay... may hyperthyroidism kasi ako... in layman's terms... goiter.

ilang taon na kong sumusuway sa doktor... ilang taon na kong di nagpapakita dun... mukhang active na naman yung sakit ko...

potah.

Do you believe in magic?

My grade school classmate, Margarita and I was facing the window one hot sunny day, and I frustratingly exclaimed without thinking...'please let it rain.'

I cannot explain why or how... but immediately after the words left my lips, it rained.

We looked at each other, awestruck. As we stuck our tongues out to catch raindrops, Rita told me that I was weird.

From that day on, I often imagined that I have the blood of a magician. That at a flick of my wrist, I could make the door open, or give my brother a big, achy pimple. I collected crosses and made amulets made of wood covered with nailpolish to make it shine. I rip off pages and pages of LIFE magazine that my lola used to deliver to us directly from the States, and pasted them on my bedroom wall. I made bracelets made of coins. I rummage my mom's closets for antique accessories that made me feel mystical, and wore them.

I lived a world of weirdness.

Anyway, I have been reading Book 2 of Harry Potter which I borrowed from my cousin, Joanne. I have always been fascinated with magic and spirituality. I am in awe with the Asian way of devotion to their Makers. For me, life and religion, however diverse it may be can only be summed up into 4 concepts--the truth, your imagination, your conscience, and your belief.

The truth about magic is that we need it to add spice to our imagination. We leave it to our conscience if we face a forkroad on our way to believing.

The reason I am fascinated with the story is that it makes me face the truth, it makes me imagine, and believe without guilt in the possibility of magic.

Do I believe in magic? Of course, I do. It's embedded in the deepest room of your heart. It's called differently by others... it's popularly known as love.

In doubt? Look at yourself in the mirror. Nothing like the pure magic of the heart can create something as mystical as you.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

bakit ako pissed

(WARNING: explicit language. not to be read by the religious, the cranky, the narrow-minded, and the people involved here, since this is a Final Written Behavioral Warning awardee, and I still need about 4 months worth of this job. But what the heck, this is my blog, right? Why the hell should I think about what you think?)

ok. the last three days, the team has been moved from one station to another. basically, that's three times already. It takes time, effort, mind-boggling tech knowledge, and hope. If I explain the process completely, I will rant on for ages.

it is bad enough that we have to wait for the voice reps to log-off before we can log-in. bad enough that we have to take their stares and snippets of catty bratty can't-u-just-look-for-another-station retorts (pitikin ko uten mong bakla ka, tingnan ko lang kundi ka maging lalake).

NOTE: I usually have high regard with all sexes. the use of the term bakla here is only pertaining to one person and not to be taken personally.

bad enough that when they see you standing (probably taking a breather), they tell you that you're slacking off. Talk about major presumptuousness. yeah, yeah. we take the liberty to slack off sometimes. but these reps see to it that they have reached their quotas at the end of the day, so who am I to tell them off?

bad enough that I, appointed OIC only by the supervisors and not by the company, have to do their jobs and still do mine without extra remuneration, and with my productivity suffering (chos!).

and now, this!

i have been the one who has to hear all the moans and the complaints of these people. especially when we knew that the software does not run properly on all the freakin stations.

and what do i get?

"you have to be flexible with changes..."

typical interview-for-promotion suggestion. i have to control myself and not laugh my wide forehead off. I think mi superior has been mistaking me for someone who cares...

well, if they haven't heard it yet... i don't fucking care.

i don't care what anyone thinks! Because i'm not going to follow another person's path. I don't even think about applying for a higher position in the same team. i know too much about the account and how it is running. If you do not know how screwed up the account is then here's a hint: reps shinning for the Account Transfer Program.

what do i care about? I care about the reps. I care about them personally. I wouldn't want them to set-up new stations again and again for 3 straight fuckin days. I wouldn't want them to be given false hopes that they will be given permanent stations. That they can even leave their things on their stupid stations. That 'last na to talaga'. Bloody hell.

And do you know what caring about employees is called?

Better-than-you material.

So, if you think that I am pissed because I couldn't take pressure... think again. This will not reflect on me. I am not the one in-charge of everything. I won't be thought of as an incompetent fool. If all falls down, it really isn't my responsibility to answer for them. Then whose is it? I'll give you three chances to guess. Don't strain yourself, though. Let your brain juice flow naturally.

Again, why was I pissed? Because I left my wallet at home and had no money to buy food to gorge on while doing what they were supposed to be doing and simultaneously doing what I was paid to be doing (i'm a multi-tasking eight-handed freak). That's why.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My mom and I watched the Flight of the Phoenix. It was nice, especially the sandstorm, and the way they crashed (don't mind me, i'm a critic not just of the story but also the over-all movie-making process).

There're two lines that I remembered:

"I don't understand how a man who learned how to fly can't have hopes and dreams."

"I believe that there's only one thing that a man lives for, and that is love. If you can't give them that, then give them hope. And if you can't give them that, then give them something to do."

NICE.

he reacted to my YM status (pissed)

SCARFACE: pissing away at what?
*reich*: ayan, iba na. ((changed status to 'naje-jebs'))
SCARFACE: wag ganyan... be stylish and subtle...
SCARFACE: lagay mo "feeling naive"
*reich*: naive? as in nai-ive-ak?
*reich*: haha
SCARFACE: nai-ives... nai-ivacuates...
SCARFACE: hahah!

~*~*~*~

*reich*: and nothing. hehe. gusto ko na talagang makaalis dito not for anything else, but because i just want us to start anew.
*reich*: aalis na cla mami dito, ano pang gagawin ko rito?
SCARFACE: hmm... di sa cavite ka magmigrate?
*reich*: parang hudyat na
*reich*: na may mangyari sa buhay namin
SCARFACE: ako, first chance i get, uuwi na ako... hehehe!
*reich*: baka kasi sa ibang bansa mangyari un
*reich*: di ka na babalik?
*reich*: jan?
SCARFACE: babalik...
*reich*: un naman pala eh
SCARFACE: marami akong bagay na kailangan kong tapusin diyan na di ko nagawa eh...
SCARFACE: lots of loose ends to tie up.
*reich*: wiwiwi lang ako (mamaya na yung jebs)
SCARFACE: nuninuninuninuninuninu...
SCARFACE: hahah...

~*~*~*~

*reich*: basta, magtanong tanong ka naman jan ng job na pang fastfood, store manager. basta, mga bagay-bagay. kahit anong info re immigration... habang di pa kami pde, tatapusin ko muna dapat kong tapusin dito
*reich*: daming requirements before i can teach abroad. peste.
*reich*: meron pa silang
SCARFACE: hahaha...
*reich*: cert na dapat wala kang TB
*reich*: tsaka first aid training
*reich*: tsaka driving experience

~*~*~*~

SCARFACE: gusto ko ng lugaw sa luk yuen... tapos siomai... tapos pupunta ako sa divisoria, kakain ako ng siopao at mami...
*reich*: pritong siopao!
SCARFACE: tapos magkakarera ako ng kotse...
SCARFACE: tapos kakain ako ng balut sa laguna, tapos
*reich*: sa batangas maraming karera
*reich*: bakit dapat sa laguna?
SCARFACE: iinom ng beer hanggang magsuka sa cable car sa pasay road kung andun pa.
SCARFACE: sa laguna?
SCARFACE: andun si ano eh.
*reich*: andun pa ata ang cable car
SCARFACE: sa batangas? sa amin lang sa imus, madami na... di ko na kailangan magpunta sa batangas.
*reich*: oo nga naman
*reich*: isama mo si anton habang nagliliwaliw ka... turuan mo na habang maaga.
SCARFACE: tapos pupunta ako sa san mig sa alabang, tapos iinom ako ng tatlong round ng cuervo shooters hanggang mabenkong ang lakad ko habang nakaupo pa ako sa couch ko dun...
SCARFACE: tapos pagtayo ko, iikot ang mundo ko... waw hebigat...
SCARFACE: tapos pupunta ako sa cr... pipigilin kong wag sumuka habang pinapalipas ang lintek na ikot ng mundo.
*reich*: alam mo, magandang ilagay yan sa blog mo.
SCARFACE: tapos lalabas ako, cuervo gold shooters naman at kse silver pala yung naorder ko, walang free na pin at tshirt ang lekat.
*reich*: pramis!
SCARFACE: tapos, pupunta kami ng mga barkada ko sa antipolo kay manang. iinom kami. tapos kakarga ako ng 6 n red horse...
SCARFACE: ((censored))
*reich*: i have a funny feeling, u'v done that a gazillion times already.
SCARFACE: tapos, magcocommute pauwi... maliligo at papasok sa la salle. kahit na on leave of absence ako...
SCARFACE: tapos magaabang ako sa gate hanggang pumasok yung kakilala kong guard para makapasok na rin ako. tapos maghahanap ng mayaya na lumabas at mag yosi tapos inom.
SCARFACE: sobrang miss ko na yun... minsan nagtataka ako, bakit ako andito.
*reich*: isa lang ang sagot jan.
*reich*: ((in-love emoticon))
SCARFACE: tapos uuwi ang asawa ko, pagod sa pagmamaneho, sa trabaho at sa skul... tapos maalala ko kung baket...
SCARFACE: at biglang mapapaisip, wash it whort hit?
*reich*: pang valentine prose ito.
SCARFACE: absholutly...
SCARFACE: hahahah!
*reich*: kung ganyan din naman asawa ko, wala na kong hahanapin pa.... naks!
SCARFACE: hahaha... tanong mo kay misis... mukhang nagsisisi na eh...
SCARFACE: kulet daw ng mga pinsan ko eh.
SCARFACE: at nahahawa ako.
*reich*: kasama ba ako sa mga makukulit na pinsan? haha.
SCARFACE: op cors...

~*~*~*~

SCARFACE: paano ba babaguhin ang template ng blog ko?
*reich*: depende kung anong gusto mo
SCARFACE: gusto ko grunge...
SCARFACE: lam mo naman ako.
SCARFACE: na may halong punksnotdead.
SCARFACE: tapos may angst...
*reich*: hm....
SCARFACE: na binudburan ng metal.
SCARFACE: at siyempre maraming karera...
SCARFACE: ng kotse ha.
SCARFACE: at tapos andun si lana...
*reich*: dapat mo munang icompile ang mga pictures na gusto mo.
*reich*: 2 columns? o tatlo?
SCARFACE: mga sampo lang...

~*~*~*~

*reich*: bakit pag uminom ako ng icetea, nawiwiwi ako lagi... isipin mo sagot, para pagbalik ko galing cr, alam ko na kung bakit.
SCARFACE: hmmm baka kse liquid yung iced tea na iniinom mo...
SCARFACE: nanakokonvert agad ng powers ng kidney mo para maging wiwi.
SCARFACE: kuha?
*reich*: e bakit pag tubig, di naman ako laging nawiwiwi?

~*~*~*~

((after sending me pictures))

*reich*: gusto ko yung greenish na picture ng street
SCARFACE: pogi kamo ng pinsan mo... at sana kamo maging kamukha ako ng anak mo...
*reich*: ulul
*reich*: recent ba yung picture nyo ni misis?
SCARFACE: alin?
*reich*: i dunno where that was. nakamaroon sya at nakablue ka. an taba mo kasi dun!
*reich*: gusto ko yung dati mong picture na pinadala mo sa kin sa ym. yung solo. send mo ulit. lalagay ko sa blog ko. haha
SCARFACE: ah.. oo. wag mo ipapakita yan ha... masisira ang macho image ko.. hehehe that was christmas. sa las vegas.
SCARFACE: ha?
SCARFACE: alin?
*reich*: ang taba mo ngayon!!!!
SCARFACE: nakikinig ka ng the cranberries?
SCARFACE: sooper favorite ko pa rin yun.
*reich*: yung mejo closeup
*reich*: minsan, nasa playlist ko dito sa office
SCARFACE: kaya nga, sa gabi eh cereal na lang kinakain ko.
*reich*: pictures pa. tipid naman eh.
SCARFACE: wait. hanap ako.
SCARFACE: la ako mahanap ngayon... tomorrow na lang. same time...

~*~*~*~

SCARFACE: sige, padating na si misis... magprepare ng dinner eh...
*reich*: ok.
*reich*: ingat
*reich*: luv u.
*reich*: miss u
*reich*: muah
SCARFACE: ok... love and miss you too!

~*~*~*~

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

of Canada and Voice

hay... nilipat na naman kami ng workstations today... kakainis!

wala akong ginawa half of the day... tinatamad akong mag-work... wala akong ginawa kundi ayusin tong blog ko at mag-surf tungkol sa Canada.

I already talked to Dada, at pumayag na siya na kung maayos ang lahat, we'll migrate to Canada. I just found out that Ontario is katabi lang ng New York. Kung matuloy lahat ng plano, sana nga nasa NY na lang sila Mama para malapit lang sa Ontario, where we plan to stay, if ever.

Kulang na lang sa min, datung. Mga 300-400 thousand pesos ang kelangan. Pero naisip ko naman, meron naman kaming assets like the kids' educational plans, mga 190T worth din. There's the car and other appliances, na hindi naman namin madadala so might as well sell them all para makapunta kami dun...

Ewan ko ba... I'd really like to go somewhere else to start anew. Parang masyadong maraming nangyaring masakit dito sa amin sa Pinas. That going somewhere else as a family, starting as a family, is the only way that I could forget everything that happened here... to get away from the past that continuously haunts me.

I know that Dada has changed a lot... big improvement... but it isn't enough for me...

Sana lang, ma-grant yung wish ko na makapagsimula kami ulit as a family. I like Canada secondary to the States kasi free primary and secondary education, and healthcare kami dun. And most of all, madaling makapunta dun, di gaya sa States.

'Coz if we're gonna wait for my parents' petition, it will take us about 10 years of waiting. I already talked to my sister-in-law, and they are also interested in Canada... kung nagkataon, may makakasama naman pala kami dun...

Hay... I hope everything goes well... sana manalo ako sa lotto kahit di ako tumataya... sana may mayamang dumaan sa tabi ko sa kalye at bigyan ako ng 400T... sana magmilagro ang Diyos.

If not, there's always the 'Fly Now, Pay Later' plan. Hehehe.

Don't get me wrong... I'm still a Filipino at heart, dito ko pa rin gustong tumira sana, and I love my country... I just like to go away for personal reasons.

=================================

Naaawa ako kay Mai. I know how she feels. Yun din naramdaman ko nung nasa voice ako. Putek. Di ko naman kasi forte ang magbenta at mamilit ng tao kung ayaw.

There was a time that I literally run and barfed in the CR just coz I couldn't take it anymore. Meron pang isang client na napaiyak ako kasi hindi ko siya matulungan sa problem niya sa account (pano, fraud-er sya) at sinabihan ba naman akong "you can't even speak english!" sabay bagsak ng telepono.

P#%$^&% I#$ nya eh pano niya ko naiintindihan kung di ako marunong mag-ingles. Putek, english teacher pa nga ako. Hindi ako fluent at British accent, pero hindi ako bobo. Pakshet sya. Ang kinagagalit ko dun, kasi binagsak niya agad yung fone. Di ako naka-retort! Jumping Jupiter talaga.

Marami pa kong naging experience nung nasa voice ako na hindi ko gusto... pumayat talaga ako nun... pagdating ko sa bahay, sa sobrang pagod, diretso tulog ako, with shoes and all! Holy Guacamoli!

Nway, sana mahanap ni Mai yung trabahong para talaga sa kanya... sana rin, kung maga-abroad sya, hindi sa Australia, kundi sa Canada na... di ba, Mai? Hehehe....

Monday, February 07, 2005

revampizashens

tapos na ang pagsasaayos... kala nyo matagal ah... hehe...

tinanggal ko lang yung ibang images para medyo bumilis...

nway, i'm proud to say that i have been the influence to this
blog. kanina pa siya nage-edit ng blog niya at ngayon, medyo contented na and loka. eto't nagpo-post na.

marami pa kong gustong i-post, pero since pauwi na kami, tomorrow na lang...

ribbon on my finger: gusto ko ng popcorn! Dada said (promised, actually) he'll buy me tomorrow coz he's in a convention and couldn't buy me some today.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

revamp

i am in the process of (again) editing the template. please bear with me.

the reason for this is because, my cousin in the States is complaining that it takes too long for my blog to load, even if he is on DSL. Hm...

And also, it's getting old. haha. i'm just gonna take off some of the images. minimalistic is the word, for it to load faster. i wish.

besides, it's the posts that matters most.

Friday, February 04, 2005

mahirap maging nanay.

sabi sa kin ni Anton:

[nakasimangot]
ang tanda-tanda mo na.... tapos mommy ka na....
ang simple-simple ng inuutos ko...
bingi ka ba?

wala akong nagawa.

umiyak na lang ako.

hello... musta?

Dali lang sabihin di ba? Idaan man lang sa text o email. Pero bakit di magawang gawin ng ibang tao?

ewan.

wala lang. nangangamusta lang.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

of Canada and the 'mommy' returns

Out of curiosity, I submitted an online visa assessment form for Canada yesterday. Results came in today, stating that my husband is qualified, and we are to be given a Permanent Resident Status if ever we push through with it.

Mixed emotions. Mostly, nanghihinayang ako. Coz I know that we couldn't take the offer since it will cost us roughly around 300-400 thousand for the processing. A hundred goes to the immigrant lawyers where I applied for assessment.

I want to go 'coz I know that a better future awaits us there financially, but then again, we are not sure of what the future have for us.

Anyway, 'nuf about that.

Mai is now working again. Slimmer, paler Mai 'The Bomb' Caancan is now sporting a new look, called the 'I-dont-wanna-come-to-work-na-but-i-have-to' look that fascinatingly, is very contagious.

Let the fun pintasan begin.