Monday, February 14, 2005

happy valentine's day.

I promised myself that I will be posting mushy things for the whole week. Here is the first installment. Though it's far from mushy.

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hay... valentine's day... to tell you the truth, i do not remember a single memorable valentine's day that i have spent with my Dada... pathetic.

Dada is not the romantic type, unlike the guy that this blog always mention. I always read her blog not just because she makes me smile with her posts, that she writes like a journalist (hehe. that's because she is one, I read her articles from Inquirer), that she is too many ways an addict to some things, but also, because she is addicted to love.

She's lucky to have her man, and I, like most women, envy a good relationship. Minsan nakakainis. haha. Sometimes I think, why didn't God give me someone who's sweet enough it's icky? Yeah, yeah. I'm one of those women who's KSP.

I was born sweet, much to a lot of people's surprise. First impressions of me are always mataray, masungit, ho-hum. But of course, first impressions are just that.

My first impression of Dada was just this--gwapo.

Tangos ng ilong, ganda ng mata kinda gwapo. My classmates in elementary all knew him. He rarely goes out, but we can see him going out sometimes on his bike. We were like brazen hussies gawking at him. Sometimes, going to their street just to catch a glimpse of him.

My classmates found a way to get his number. We called him up. I talked to him and asked him who he was. He said something like, "Ako si superman." Talk about major ewness. Well, back then, it was cool. So, I said... "Ah...ako naman si wonderwoman." or something to that effect. It was hilarious, coz the whole brady bunch was laughing behind my back, and giggling.

What a nightmare first impression.

When I turned high-school-ish, I always watch them play basketball in the street. Pero, ang akala niya noon, siya yung pinapanood ko... hinde!!! I actually, kinda, got over him for sometime. May mas pinagtrip-an ang mga mata ko... pero secret yun at ako lang ang nakaka-alam.... everybody thought, it was still Dada that I was looking at. Kaso lang, the guy was much older than us. And, he's too thin. So, sandali lang yung pinansin ng mga mata ko...

Back to Dada. My friend, Ja, thought of a way for us to talk on the phone again. How, I don't remember. I think, it's because Ja was his schoolmate. Since then, he would call me on the phone, with me not saying anything, and him making all sorts of kwento.

This went on for years.

He had a girlfriend then. I was also attached. When he learned of this, I think he got a little pissed. I can tell by the sound of his voice, and by the way he slightly criticized June (that's the boyfriend).

June was the brother of my sister-in-law. He's far from being in league with Dada. He's sweet, yes. But he's a mechanic, who's always dirty, and he's chocolate brown. Don't get me wrong. I loved the guy. It's difficult not to love someone as sweet as him.

I was also being courted by another guy before June. He's my childhood friend which we call Bok-bok. I dunno why, though. Just like June, Bok was sweet and thoughtful. I was supposed to give Bok a chance when something he said made me think twice.

When my parents knew about June, all hell broke loose. Patay. They did everything just to keep him away from me. Maybe because I'm just 15 then (yes, maaga akong lumandi), I got over him fast enough. Well, Dada was there to help me. No... let me rephrase that. I was there to help Dada out.

When my parents where trying to break the two of us up, Dada was there making me laugh. June was furious. We talked on the phone for 2-3 hours. His girlfriend was then vacationing somewhere.

When I found that I didn't have feelings for June anymore (bilis! ang mga bata talaga), I broke up with him finally. I know he got hurt. He didn't have a girlfriend for so long after me. This made me feel guilty, but...

Dada and her girlfriend split up the day after June and I did. It was horrible. He called me, crying. I didn't know what to do. I haven't heard a man cry before. And this happened when we were so close to falling in love. I know I have.

It was so pathetically sickening. If ever there is such a feeling.

I got mad at myself as to why I have fallen for him, when it is clear that he is still in-love with his girlfriend. As his gf is at the same university as I was before, I tried talking to the girl. Asking her to give Dada another chance (pathetic, pathetic). It came to the point that I told the girl that I've fallen for Dada, and naaawa ako sa kanya.

To no avail.

Dada, then always went with me. And I with him. To console him. Nakakainis. Ang tanga-tanga ko. The time came that I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him not to talk to me anymore. To stay away from me. But it was futile. He would go to the house, and we'll talk in the garage for hours on end.

At last, when everything was clear and he got over his girl, I was so thin. I was head over heels in love. Is there another good word for pathetic?

One time, he asked me for a, er, date. He said he will be buying a book. I asked my mom, and she said yes, but not without counsel. Note: long afterwards, i found out that she thought Dada was doing June and I a favor. Maybe asking me out when it was June and I who will see each other. haha.

We ate halo-halo in the foodcourt of SM Makati. He looked so clean. He even told me that he just came from the dentist. Hm... clean teeth means fresh breath. haha.

Nothing special afterwards. He still called me at home.

Came the day that I decided to become stupid. I was at my cousin's house, making kwento. My cousin and I made a bet that whoever had a bf first will buy the other a red Toyota. Geesh. Of course, I lost. And still in debt to my cousin.

Dada, called to my surprise. I answered the fone. But he asked for my cousin. So, I gave the fone to her. But he was actually looking for me. This was not funny to her, btw, since she was then snoozing (I always have this snooze effect on her.... in short, i'm boring).

There we were, talking like crazed idiots. Well, he's the only one crazed coz I was silent the whole time. Then suddenly, he said that he is in fact courting me. Wait, wait!!! Now, when did this all start? Hahaha. I dunno! So, I said, oh yes, let's get you to bed, baby!

Hahaha. I wish. Now, where was I? Oh yes.

I said yes right away. I don't believe in waiting. And look where it got me? haha. After I said yes, he drifted into this babbling state of making me aware that he hates girls who wears make-up... that I can't wear a short skirt or anything revealing if he is not with me... that I can't wear nailpolish except for clear... that I can't talk to another guy... that I have to tell him where I was all the time... that... potek. I had the urge to bang my head to the nearby study table.

I thought, I can't believe this guy! But, did I follow him? Oh yes. I know I'm a pathetic loser. Yes, I am.

That's a Sunday, August 4, 1991. Doom's day. Hahaha. We have been together for almost 14 years now. Been married for 10 years this coming April 18.

Sa hinaba-haba ng pinagsamahan namin, I couldn't get him to become the hopeless romantic that I am. He's not into gifts. He's not into movies. He's into something else, though. Haha.

So, today, Valentine's day, I don't know what will happen. I am not expecting a gift. Nor a date. Though I received a text at exactly 12:47am.

He maybe will bring something from Jollibee. A red heart-shaped balloon, or ice cream (hope it's coffee crumble), or a red ribbon cake. That was his routine since he started working at Jollibee. He tends to bring me the goodies that Jollibee gives away. Hahaha.

Do I mind? I'd be a hypocrite if I tell you I don't. Sometimes, it makes me sad that he could not even take time off to buy me something, that he could not even think about something that I would like. That his creative juices does not flow for me.

Sometimes, I ask myself why I fell in love with Dada. Was it just because he was good-looking? I think that was the first part.

I fell in love with him because he made me feel loved the only way he knows how. And I felt it even if some people can't see it. It was because he cooked for me whenever he can. He made me eat even if I have had enough, even spoonfeeding me. He gave me a single rose coz he didn't have any money left. He took care of me when I was pregnant with Anea. cleaned all the mess I left when I was barfing with morning sickness. Made me drink milk even if I don't want to. Cleaned my bloodstained sheets. And battled his way to change Anea's second name to include mine.

Those were the days.

Am I asking for him to change? No, I'm not. If he changed, then there's no sense in keeping a blog since everything posted here will be too good to be true.

I guess that time will never come. But who's complaining? =)

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