Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Lesson 7: Wag tayong pintasera, magsabi lang tayo ng totoo.

Sa isang taon kong pagsagot sa mga email ng mga kliyente namin, maraming beses na rin akong nakadama ng saya, lungkot, dismaya, pagkainis, at galit. Pero the best ang mga nakakatuwang emails. Lalo na kung merong mga salita o pangalang di mo aakalaing pupwede.

Sa isang linggo, ito ang mga nakalam kong mga nakakatuwang pangalan:

Yerchen Maldjian (ano daw? eto yung mga tipong kapag nasa call ka, ang banat mo ganito: "Can you spell your name for me?" sabay wishful thinking na sana hindi siya Indian.)

Onesimus Azeez Guice (guice ko day. Azeez, ang yaman nito!)

Michael Cupples (ang cute di ba?)

Allen Arakaki (buti na lang, hindi Arakiki kundi umiyak na ko sa kakatawa)

Besona Mbanyuy Sikod (See name #1)

Matt Nighbor (sarap sigurong maging kapitbahay nito)

Johnson Johnson (parents nito walang imahinasyon, o mahilig lang talagang mag-pulbo)

Eto, winner:

Tae Oh (at eto po ang email address niya: Tae@tae.net, please lang wag kayong tatawa, o padalhan siya ng SPAM)

Actual emails naman po:

I sent the enfold no results. (kaya naman pala eh.)

Have changed E mail address. Former address became lost 'forever'. Either need to use new address or start over as if I never was herebefore? (kawawa naman ang email address mo.)

please cancel this i dount want it. (spell it as you say it.)

Please cancel my contract with you effect immediately. (sorry, wa epek.)

Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?Have you ever wanted to impress your girl with a huge cumshot? (ah... eh....)

How do I quite your service so that my credit card will not be charged. (not quite.)

Please cancel my account.Thanks Emily Do not send me any books (um.. di po kami Barnes & Noble)

WANT TO CANCLE MY SUBSCRIPTION. I ONLY WANTED THE FREE TRIAL OFFERAND MY FREE CREDIT REPORT. PLEASE ONLY CHARGR THE $5.00 FOR THE CREDITREPORT. aGAIN I WISH TO CANCLE.

To Whom it may concern, I did not know I odered that. I was just tring to look at my creditreport. Will I be charged for this? If so conceal my orderimmediately.

(lahat po ng pwedeng spelling ng 'cancel' nakita ko na)

I have been trying to get my free credit report from 4 days. Everytime Ifeel out all your quistions and submit them, you strate me over at thebeganning until I get tried and quit asking for it. If you are going tosend me one, there please do so, for I am tired of filling out your questions. (hay...)

I am told there are things I need to see I dont know about yet!!! (i am also told that there is nothing to be known for.)

I wont to end my free online credit report thank you. (eh, ano ngayon ang gusto mong gawin ko?)

I WANT TO NO WHY MY INFO HAS NO T COME UP YET (because you clicked on 'no' instead of 'yes'?)

to whom it concerneds: i did not ask for a credit report. i will notpay you a red cent for this report. i rejected at the time. john block (pdeng blue? naniniwala na ko. surname mo palang sigurado na kong ni-reject mo talaga.)

I have emailed you 2 time about canceling this serve, is there aproblem. I have copied both emails and will call my lawyer if thismatter is not taken care of right away. (i got served!)

cancel my membership!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't make sence out of any of it. (how can you make sense of it when you spell it with a 'c'?)

I was trying to help my oarents get their FREE creditreport. They do not want any other service. Becuaseof a problem we were not able to access his report.We were told that someone from IT would be contactingus. If there isanything to do with a service pelasecancel it. (tinginkosiraangspacebarniya.)

Washington Mutual may be the biggest home loan company; but they are notnice people who engage in predatory lending, with really lousy andunresponsive customer service; and they have the creditability of atoad. (ribbit!)

I would like to know why i can not recive my roport throught yall. Please contact me asap!!! Thanks Much, Chaka (ang chaka mo kasi kaya di ka makakuha ng roport!)

Disclaimer: Not intended to humiliate or cause serious brain damage.

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