Monday, April 18, 2005

nagpunta kami ng God's Love resort sa may San Mateo, Rizal. It was part of the last-days-with-my-parents-in-the-Philippines plan. it went well naman... my Dad couldn't come coz he was tired from an all-night drinking session with his buddies. My mom was there though.

the place was beautiful, if we were the only people there. the problem was, we weren't. andaming tao! It's as if most people in Manila thought of going to resorts. A lot of people here sa office went to Galera. Some to Boracay.

the resort was like a mountain resort type. there was a hanging bridge, na nalula ako when i crossed it. if it weren't for Anea who was so scared to cross it, I wouldn't try it. hahahaha! scaredycat. my kuya Dudei kasi wanted Anea to try the bridge to make her feel that there's nothing to fear coz the bridge naman was really stable. pero sympre, kakalula naman tlaga. plus, yung hawakan was made of plastic pipe, kaya and init, grabe! napaso kami from holding on it too tight.

since wala kaming lotion that time, we didn't bother to buy na. so, the result was like a hundred daggers poking your back and your shoulders now. and I also got this rash from the water maybe, so gustong gusto kong kamutin, pero it wasn't easy din coz it's masakit nga. hay...

It will be a memorable place for me coz that's where Anea learned to swim. Woohoo!!! at least she did learn. it's my niece who taught her. i was so proud. and galeng coz sandali lang siyang tinuruan. pero sa kiddie pool pa lang, meaning she can still touch ground after. di pa siya nagffloat.

sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam.. i can't swim. not that i haven't tried. it all began when i was a kid... i was with my granpa, God bless his soul. i think i slipped from him, and i took a lot of water. it was a phobia that i never got out of my system. tapos nasamahan pa ng movie na Jaws. I remember, 3D pa yun nung pinanood namin sa cinema with my parents. you have this special paper glasses. i became slightly claustrophobic. elevators make me queasy. anything without windows make me cringe with fear.

but it doesn't stop me from going in the water. especially if my kids are in it, too. pero dapat abot ko yung floor. so, if you want to have fun swimming, don't take me with you. hahahaha! i'm such a bore. i'm a coward. kung gusto niyo lang magbabad at mag sunbathing, i'm with you.

it made me think of my fears tuloy... kasi andami eh... i really am such a coward, come to think of it. i'm afraid of water, closed spaces, heights, the sea, all animals except for pets, SPIDERS, all insects, death, loneliness... i'm afraid of uncertainty... like a closed door, and you do not know what's on the other side... like the depths of the sea and you do not know whatever there is that's gonna get your feet, or what you can step on.... it's like, i'm afraid of LIVING.

sad, isn't it?




Mai and I are thinking of going to Nasugbu to see Caleruega. It's a place I call my heaven on earth. It's Dominican owned, so naturally, when Letranites went on a retreat, that's where we go. That's where I knew why they call the place Batulao. from the words bato and ilaw. Coz sometimes, the sun sets in between the two mountains.

when i first saw that sun set, my jaw dropped. it was so beautiful, i could die there. that's where i thought that when i die, i would like to be cremated and my ashes thrown out there, kasabay ng paglipad ng mga butterflies. how dramatic can you get?

kaya, if you haven't seen Caleruega, make sure you do before you get too old to climb. and don't forget to lie down on the steps of the Church on top of the hill... and close your eyes... what heavenly experience.... next stop from there is Munting Buhangin, if you wish to go swimming, btw.



Song of the day:

Tina Arena
In Deep
If I Didn't Love You

So good
When it's good I wanna spend my whole life lovin' you
But I'm tired
And you don't know how close I've come to leaving you
You try my patience
And you race me to the wire
It takes every ounce of my will and desire
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you like crazy
If I didn't love you baby
As much as I do
I'd just walk out the door
I couldn't take it anymore
I wouldn't put up with what you put me through
If I didn't love you
It's hard
But you won't give up 'till you
Push me to the wall
But I know
You're the only one who'll be there for me
When I call (oh yes you will)
I can't help believing
That it's worth it somehow
Cause I've worked too damn hard
To wanna give up now
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you like crazy
If I didn't love you baby
As much as I do
I'd just walk out the door
I couldn't take it anymore
I wouldn't put up with what you put me through
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
Nah, If I didn't
If I didn't love you like I do
When you love someone
Nothings black or white
When the riptide runs
There's no wrong or right
I'll sail with you but I'll refuse to drown
So don't you take me down, down
Take me down down
Don't you take me down, down, down
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
I'd walk out that door
I don't need it anymore
Need to put up with what you put me through
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you like I do o o o
I'd walk out that door
I'm not comin' back no more
No more

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