Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Mona Lisa Smile

Last night, I watched Mona Lisa Smile on VCD that I rented from Video City. I also rented Wimbledon and Summer Catch.

There was nothing really special about the movie, except that the main role was portrayed by Julia Roberts. It was done well enough, but it didn't catch my attention all too well.

I have watched a handful of movies about teachers and how they managed to make a difference in their students' lives. Which is exactly what Julia, a.ka. Ms. Watson wanted to do.

I say that making a difference can be done by anybody and anything. Teachers are not the only ones capable of doing so. Though, they have the authority, the outlet, the medium to do just that.

I believe that all the more crucial is that you make yourself important in someone else' life. Sure, you can make a difference... but that difference can only burn your skin, and not bore through your bones. It may change your mind, but not your spirit.

Hence, i take this opportunity to name a few of my teachers, and people who are important to me because they made a difference in my life:

to Momma who have sacrificed everything to hone me into a good person like you (hehe).

to Papa who have taught me that if i wouldn't want to lose something, i have to keep an eye on it.

to Kuya Dudei who have shown me that change is not impossible in people.

to Erick who have taught me about respect and kinship.

to Ronald (yes, i have something to be thankful for) for giving me three of my reasons for breathing.

to Anea who have given me great pride just by knowing that I am a part of you.

to Dale who have taught me how to be strong, patient, loving, awed, and who gave me the drive and determination to learn more and want more, and never give up in finding a 'cure'...

to Anton who reminded me that i was also a sweet kid when i was his age...

to Archie who didn't leave us in times that we do not have enough.

to you who didn't flinch and who didn't leave me in times of trouble.

to Scarface who taught me that distance is never a hindrance to love and family.

to someone who went to Manila twice a month for 4 months, called me everyday via long distance, who taught me that you need to lie about something if you do not
want to hurt the one who's desperately in love with you.

to Caloi, for teaching me to let go of the past after you've cried enough.

to the whole team, for teaching me how to shut up.

to someone who made me realize that men do cry and get hurt, that life is unfair sometimes and that it is hateful to be human... but most of all, for this.

to you, for teaching me how to be generous, and that sexiness is not about how big your boobs are, but how high your forehead actually is..... nah, it's still about the boobies.

and to you, for everything else in between.
i do not know why Mona Lisa was smiling... but if i were her, these are the reasons why i would be.

p.s.
a lot of people have not been mentioned... but they remain in my heart, and i am forever idebted to them for bringing out the worst and best part of me. I love all of you.

Monday, May 30, 2005

slashing ur wrists may not kill u, but it may burn ur spirit.

hay.... pasensya na sa mga nakabasa ng post ko... ganan talaga buhay eh... minsan nakakaloka... minsan masaya....

ngayon, masaya... katabi ko kasi ang babaitang ito. nabuhayan na naman ako ng loob kahit ba nagalit siya sa kin at hindi ko kasi tinuloy ang paghihiwa ng pulso. gusto na ata niya kong mawala sa tabi niya. mas lab niya na ata ito.

sabi niya nga, ginawa ko raw yun para may maisulat ako dito. hindi ko po siya sinabunutan. minura, oo.

oh well. tapos na yun eh. time to move on.

nakita niyo ba ang quit meter ko? o diva? feeling kakayanin ang hindi pagyo-yosi ah... hm... tingnan natin... honest naman ako pag dating sa bagay na yun eh. no big deal.

since Memorial Day sa US, walang emails ngayon, so petix ang buong team Mahiwagang-Daliri. blog dito, blog doon. galeng di ba? sarap pumetix lalo na pag binabayaran ka.

nung Sabado pagkatapos nga pala ng lahat, lumayas ako ng bahay... nagpaumanhin sa katulong na hindi ko kayang humarap sa mga tao sa ngayon (kasi may mga bisita kaming darating), at kung pde siya na ang humarap... sakay ng jeep papuntang Glorietta.... manonood ako ng sine, naisip ko...

at nakita kong palabas na ang Madagascar. yehey! parang bata akong bumili agad ng Wendy's chicken breast fillet meal, and watched the fun, fun, fun movie. all around me were kids!

the monster texted me a monstrous message but i ignored it, and turned off my fone. to hell with you (and me). im gonna have a little fun, even if it was only watching cute animals with hooves and paws.

i promised myself im gonna watch House of Wax this week, and i'd probably watch it tomorrow with her and her. Sino mang gustong sumama, tell us. im gonna watch every freakin movie at Glorietta just to alleviate this nonsense that i am feeling.

Sunday, the monster was in the house begging like a sick puppy... he should thank his lucky stars that my bro chose that day to come down to Manila... so i stayed civil... we went out with Kuya who is still sick, btw. we bought some groceries and we ate at Max's.

They have this new dessert, and i luv it. it's ube-flavored, and i don't know exactly how to describe it. Milky white exterior with ube on top and on the inside. Yummy. So, now, i'm fatter than usual. Grr....

Now, i still feel bad, don't get me wrong... ganun pa rin naman eh... wala pa ring nagbabago... i'm still a prisoner of someone's illusion of love.... and i'm bound to die a natural death, still unhappy...

There are times when i ask myself what if.... or times that all i can do is just stare at the monitor, or the window next to my station, or the band-aid on my left wrist which still hurts from time to time... there are times that i feel out of it... that i feel something strange but cannot pinpoint what exactly... there are times when i feel like approaching and talking to people that i am 'ignoring' today... but i can't.

so, i steer clear from you coz im not sane. i steer clear from you coz i'm no different from Charlie, nor anyone else who was stupid enough to break into pieces the way i did.

i steer clear from you coz i have to.

for your sake.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

yosi o gunting?

naiintindihan na kita. and i failed the person that made me live a new smokeless life.

hindi ko na kaya ang buhay. masyadong mapanukso. masyadong unfair.

kahapon, nasa loob ako ng aparador ko, naririnig ko ang boses ng isang hayop na kumakatok sa pintuan ko. hindi ko ito ininda. hawak ko ang gunting sa aking kanang kamay at nakatutok ang talim nito sa aking kaliwang braso. isang hila ko lang sigurado ako, maraming dugo ang sisirit at lalabas. isang oras lang malamang, hindi na ko hihinga.

nabitawan ko yung gunting, basang basa na ng luha at pawis ang mukha ko... tiningnan ko ang aking mga kamay. hindi ko na malaman kung ano pa ang iisipin para magbago ang isip ko.

hangga't makita ko ang mga palad ko. nakita ko ang nunal sa aking palad. nakita ko ang mga nunal pang nakakalat sa aking mga kamay. at inisip ko na maraming tao pa ang nagmamahal sa kin. bakit ko to gagawin?

masakit isipin na wala akong kwenta. masakit isipin na hindi ako kawalan sa mundo. pero yun ang totoo.

tumigil ang mga katok at sigaw. tumahimik ang lahat.

pinulot ko ang gunting at muling tinangkang tapusin ang lahat. dumaloy ang dugo pero wala akong naramdamang sakit mula sa kamay ko.... ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ay nasa puso at utak ko.

hangga't napatingin ako sa kanto ng pinagtataguan kong aparador.

gusto kong sumigaw. gusto kong tanungin ang Diyos kung nagpapatawa ba siya o nanga-asar.

isang stick ng yosi.

pinulot ko. sa kanang kamay, gunting. sa kaliwa, yosi.

nalagyan na ng dugo ko ang yosi, pero hindi ko na ito ininda. gusto kong tumawa ng malakas, pero hindi naman ako baliw. gusto kong magmura pero walang salitang lumabas sa bibig ko.

magaling ka talaga, Lord. ang galing mong magbigay ng solusyon sa lahat ng problema. binigyan mo ko ng palaisipan.

"anong mas gusto mo, yosi o gunting?"

tumayo ako, aktong lalabas ng pinto para pumunta ng kusina at magsindi. wala akong pakialam na may dugong dumadaloy sa aking kamay. bago ako makarating sa pinto, nakita ko ang altar sa kwarto.

nanginig ako. naiyak na naman. parang nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig.

hindi dahil nakita ko ang mukha ng Diyos, o ng Ina niya, o ng Krus.

kasi, nakita ko sa mesang pinaglalagyan nila, ang lighter na tinapon ko na nung isang araw. nung nagbitaw ako ng salitang hindi na ko magyo-yosi, tinapon ko nang lahat ng yosi at lighter sa bahay. lalong lalo na ang berdeng lighter na yun. unang-una ko yung tinapon.

pero, nandun siya sa harap ko ngayon. sa tapat ng mga debuho ng Panginoon.

nabitawan ko ang gunting at naluhod. kinuha ang lighter at nagsindi. ninamnam ang siguro ay kahuli-hulihang stick ng yosi na aking matitikman. pero hindi na ko nangangako ngayon. alam ko, habang merong gunting sa kwartong ito, sigurado ako, biglang may lalabas na yosi para magising ako.

pagkatapos kong ubusin ang stick, pinatay ko ang apoy at nilagay ang natitirang stick sa isang lalagyan. importante siya sa kin. at itatago ko siya. isang ala-ala ng aking kahinaan, at ng aking pagkagising sa isang kalokohan.

Patawad po.

Friday, May 27, 2005

southpark me.

i got the link from this blog. this is the closest i got to how i look, and feel... but now, its minus the yosi...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

isa lang ang magiging rason ko.

matagal na akong nagiisip kung aalis na ko dito... hindi ko naman kasi inakala na tatagal ako eh... ang plano lang, hanggat matapos ko yung kursong kinukuha ko... tapos, kukuha na ako ng dalawang taon na kasanayan sa pagtuturo, tapos lilipad na ko papuntang Tate.

kaso lang, ewan ko ba... maraming nangyari... nagsanga-sanga.... hindi ko na nagawang umalis pa...

ngayon, isa lang ang dahilan ko... kelangan ko tong trabahong ito... kasi hindi mapapantayan ng mga skwelahan ang sweldo ko rito... pati na rin ang benipisyong medikal na para sa mga anak ko.

pero sa paglipas ng mga araw, merong gumugulo sa utak ko, at sa damdamin ko... at hindi ko to nagugustuhan... naiisip ko na tuloy umalis na lamang... para sa ikatatahimik ng buong pagkatao ko.

hindi ko sana nanaisin na lumisan kundi lamang ito mali. hindi ko sana maiisip na umalis kundi lamang masakit na. hinahanap-hanap ko na. naiisip ko na sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos.

kaya simula ngayon, isa lang ang magiging rason ko sa pagplano kong umalis. at hindi ito dahil sa mga naiisip mo. kaya pagkatapos kong isulat ito, bubuksan ko ito, para makahanap ng bagong buhay, bagong simula... malayo sa batong alam kong maiiwan sa dibdib ko.

sana lang, madurog siya hanggat maging buhangin... pero hindi sana mawala sa ala-ala ko.

wala lang.

i hate being human.

i agree with you. it is hateful to be human. kanina ko to naramdaman. kanina sa opisina, nag-text ang Kuya ko sa kin. Dadalhin na raw niya si Arolf sa doktor. Mataas na raw masyado ang lagnat. Sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam, si Arolf ay merong seizure disorder. Isang beses pa lang naman yun nangyari sa kanya at ayoko ng maulit pa. Kaya hindi siya pwedeng lagnatin ng mataas. it might trigger a seizure.

buti na lamang, nasa bahay ang kuya ko. hindi na rin niya ako pinag-absent.

pagdating ko ng bahay, nakatakip na naman si Arolf ng unan sa kwarto ng Kuya ko. umuulan kasi. takot kasi siya sa ulan at kidlat.

pag-akyat ko, si Anton, may lagnat din.

nanlumo na ako bigla. nung binigay sa akin yung reseta, gusto ko ng umiyak. ubos na yung pera ko, ubos na yung ipon ko... ano pang gagawin ko?

tapos nagtext sya, nasa NuevaEcija daw. Tinanong ko si Anton kung anong ginagawa nun dun. Nagfi-fishing daw. Astig.

Eto mga anak ko, umaapoy sa lagnat... ako, nagta-trabaho... ngayon, hindi ko alam kung san ako kukuha ng pambili ng gamot... tapos asan siya? nagfi-fishing.

putangina.

marami pang kwento tungkol dito kasi nagtext-text pa kami eh... pero wag na. baka maasar ka lang.

pero, mabait pa rin ang kosmos.... kasi, may credit card nga pala ako... syempre pa, swipe to the max na naman ako... hehehe...

kaya, eto... napainom ko na ng gamot yung mga bata habang tumutugtog ang kantang ito sa aming transistor... okay, okay! component! naisip ko bigla, eto ba yun? nung tumugtog ang chorus, nasigurado kong yun nga.

ninamnam ko yung kanta... punyeta. naisip ko tuloy yung dreaded phone call that ended it all.... naalala ko yung iyakan, naalala ko yung mga 'sorry.' naiyak na naman ako, syempre. naisip ko na naman yung mga what might have beens... naisip ko na naman kung anong naging kulang, kung ano yung sumobra... naisip ko na naman siya.

sa gitna ng pagdaramdam ko, nagiba ang tugtog... isang ngiti ang pilit na sumilip sa aking mga labi... hanggat hindi ko kinaya, natawa na lang ako.

hanep.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

the day i put my life in someone else's hand.

i have tried numerous times to quit smoking... and i never did... sure, i can go without smoking for weeks, but then i'd find myself asking her for a cigarette again and again... then i thought, it's because nobody cared enough what i do to myself. because they knew that i have my own will. but then, it's different. read on...


you know why i continue to smoke?

y? to kill urself? hehe

coz nobody asked me to stop.

cancer sticks. not cigarette sticks.

yeah. but then nobody has ever told me pointblank to quit. they just tell me this and that.

nobody?

nobody.

its different when you tell me that it can kill u... its different when u tell me its no good for u... than telling me to stop.

then quit. think of your children.

then i will. if you're telling me to quit, though.

humans sometimes don't think of themselves. so humans must think another level.

so, are u telling me to quit, then?

if i tell u to quit, and you quit, u must never smoke a single cancer stick for the rest of your life. can u do that?

as i said, are u telling me to quit, then?

quit.

ok. thank you.

no prob.

i promise not to smoke a cancer stick until i can see a mole at the palm of my hand.


its different when u put ur life into someone else's hand. u feel obliged to live.

some people are moles.

when i was growing up, i had a crazy notion about moles. Not the hairy kind that lives in the ground... i kinda like counting how many moles i have on my arms... sadly, i had none... i only have one birthmark (that i considered a mole), and it was situated at the exact point where the Messiah's nail might have gone out.

i envied people who had a lot... those fair-skinned damsels that if they sell their moles for a cent, they can buy a soda.

i thought, maybe the moles they have represented the number of people that made a difference in their lives.

it was weird. But let me tell you what's weird-er.

when i was in highschool, i had a friend named Trisha, that i loved so much... she was there to tell me all sorts of stories, all sorts of life-changing, stupid-at-times, sort of stories that have, well, helped me to become what i am now.

i noticed a mole in my right hand starting to grow.

and when we drifted apart... it faded, but it's still visible...

and when i was in college, I met Bes... just like Trisha, we molded into a beautiful circus-like, fairytale-like friendship... she experienced what i did, and vice versa.

that year, another mole in my left thumb appeared...

years after, we remained best of friends with occasional fights and flaws... but sadly, the mole is starting to fade...

when i worked here, i met a lot of good people... but one person have won me over... we shared a lot of sense and nonsense that i thought, i ought to have a new mole by now...

and then it came, and it was situated at the most funny place ever--middle finger of my left hand. don't ask me why i considered it funny, but it was to me.

and it isn't fading... and i pray that it won't...

last week, i noticed one very visible mole at the palm of my hand... it left me thinking who it might be representing...

i thought, could it be her? but i thought, nah... i love her, but we haven't traded a lot of secrets yet...

and then i thought, could it be her instead? but i thought, nah... same as the first one, we haven't traded enough secrets... not yet... but time will come... and i'm sure that the my mole will be on my butt.

if i tell a person a secret, it means that i have established trust in that person... and it is important in every kind of relationship.

i ticked off every possible person, until i came up with someone i've known for only a few months, but have made a significant change in my life... who laughed at my crazy, corny jokes... who stands up to some people who made me desperately sad... who told me all sorts of things that we can only understand... who cared enough to 'listen'... and aside from a 4-year old cute girl, had the guts to call me Teacher Rae.

and i thought...

yeah.

To you, thanks for being a mole at the palm of my hand. I'm positive that you will be there whenever i need someone to fill the gaps between my fingers.

I wish you will never fade.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

endless.

[rae] walang beke, buti naman...
[rae] Johanna Wabeke
[rae] ano sa German ang grain of sand?
[rae] Sandt grano
[rae] gramen shaben (gramo ng shabu)
[sugar] eto siguro yung kalaban ng 3 lil pigs
[sugar] Phillip Huff
[sugar] eto kamaganak ni moe
[sugar] Mohammed Boukhira
[rae] kaano-ano kaya ito ni Steven?
[rae] Roberta Seagle
[rae] ang corny
[rae] hahaaha
[rae] favorite number nito six:
[rae] John Fiveash
[sugar] joeceeeeee@yahoo.com
[rae] tama ba namang ang sfelling ng recurring ay ganito?
[rae] reoccuring
[rae] malamang sa marmol ito nilibing:
[rae] Hardgrave, Jennier
[rae] ano sa bisaya ang deer?
[rae] Nicholas M. Osa
[sugar] mahilig to magdisco
[sugar] Ernest Thomas Elledge
[rae] bading na monk
[rae] Myra Monkman
[rae] hindi ko mawari kung anong joke ang gagawin ko dito:
[rae] Rebecca Burger Bush
[rae] aso, tuta, chubibo... ewan ko!
[rae] tina tootle
[sugar] pangpang_shi@hotmail.com
[sugar] hindi kaya bull ito
[sugar] christy horn
[rae] or demonyo
[rae] german cguro to:
[rae] Marianita Rosa MontaƱez
[rae] hay... buti na lang walang T sa huli....
[rae] Leona Irene Cantu
[rae] delikadong bigyan to ng kahit anong papel:
[rae] Puneet Budhiraja
[sugar] bagay kyo nito
[sugar] Kenneth Irving Tuttle
[sugar] sa unang tingin
[sugar] si pong ito
[rae] bagay yan kay Anne kung tooter
[sugar] kaano ano nito si odette
[sugar] Kim Quezada
[rae] siguro utal to:
[rae] How do i cancel my memeber ship?
[sugar] mahilig siguro tong mandaya
[sugar] Jason Chitty
[sugar] sa tingin mo taga san to
[sugar] Lorna Jo Brazil
[sugar] PETER YOUNGSUK KIM
[sugar] pang bulol
[sugar] Lois Kay Forshee
[you] hay... isa pa itong may maisan:
[you] Susan Mais
[sugar] Holly Schambach
[sugar] sacmbag?
[sugar] scam pala
[sugar] hehehe
[rae] kaano-ano kaya niya si Helen?
[rae] Lisa Vela
[rae] laking takot ang mga ipis dito:
[rae] Susan M. Spray
[sugar] hahahaha
[sugar] Pedro Natnat Jr.
[Customer Service] junior pa ito
[sugar] ibig sabihin magkakalat pa sila ng ganitong apelyido
[sugar] mayari siguro to ng globe o smart
[sugar] Kelli Sims
[sugar] eto mahilig sa soup
[sugar] Chris Campbell
[rae] u are on a roll ah...
[rae] eto rin, di sigurado:
[rae] hamilton, kenyata
[rae] pag magbe-break daw kayo, call mo si Tony 29036
[sugar] ok
[rae] biruin mong napakarami palang Maria Garibay?
[rae] cute o
[rae] ahaghotu, bonnie
[rae] i think Baliw to. or baka tanga.
[rae] I am TarShea Hudson, and I have really enjoyed the service your company provides to thousands of people. However, I was like to cancel my membership with your company. It has
helped me in many ways, but at this time, I no longer need your services. In the event that I do need the services that you provide, I will definitly sign up as a member again.

(handful lang ang nagkagusto sa service namin. most of the time, we are being sued.)

Saturday, May 21, 2005

part two

[reich] eto lasenggero:
[reich] Edmonds, Toma

[sugar] SERIOUS HA...
[reich] im reading my mom's email... email address niya to and im snooping.. harhar
[sugar] hahahaha
[sugar] sarap pakasalan nito..
[sugar] Prang Kiattisarnpipop
[reich] imbentor ng shawarma:
[reich] Sahadev Sharma

[sugar] parang shawarma
[sugar] sarap...
[reich] imbentor ng yosing one to sawa:
[reich] Shintaro Yoshikawa
[reich] dapat ang pangalan nito Wade Wrong, kaso lang yung mga ninuno niya, di marunong sa sfelling kaya eto na lang name niya:
[reich] Wade Wright
[reich] walang maisip
[reich] eto pag ang name niya ay Robert Poorman, tapos ngongo ang bibigkas:
[reich] Nobert Moorman
[reich] keep it coming na talaga to.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[reich] ito naman ngongong mahilig pumunta sa Galera:
[reich] Enrique Ngalera

[reich] ano sa ngongo ang blue?
[reich] Richmond Afful
[reich] bisayang hardinera:
[reich] Renea Gardineer
[reich] eto naman malibog:
[reich] Mael Portillo

[sugar] hindi naman mahilig sa R ang nanay nito
[sugar] DIRK STRONCK
[sugar] sobrang past ito..
[sugar] Beford J. Kirk
[sugar] before na may D pa
[reich] panderang probinsyana:
[reich] panadera
[reich] Nicole Baker, 6559 Provence Rd.

[sugar] alam ko na fave color nito..
[sugar] Daniel Allred:
[reich] hay..... self explanatory!
[reich] Rainwater, Chris
[reich] single na bading:
[reich] MONIQUE ALTHEA BATCHELOR
[reich] pano to:
[reich] please email me a confromation of caneclation

[sugar] sabihin mo can he rephrase d email..di mo kamo maintindihan kung ano gusto nya
[reich] malayo ang tingin....
[reich] Michael Robert Farr

[sugar] bulag?
[reich] malamang
[sugar] hindi sure sa pangalan toh..
[sugar] Kimyatta Barrington
[sugar] at hapon ang last name..
[sugar] Barrington: - badmenton
[reich] potah inisip talaga. magaling. learned.
[reich] sana lang tama ang sfelling ng badminton

[sugar] spel it how u read it
[reich] talagang ganun ang pronounce mo na badminton? hahaha.
[sugar] besaya e
[sugar] parang esabil
[reich] asawa siguro to ni Michael Farr:
[reich] michele nihr
[reich] at ito, may anak tong twins at mahilig tong maglaba. wais pa
[reich] Lumen Laranjo

[sugar] un pala apelyido nya...
[sugar] tatang din to
[sugar] Tony Oldfield
[sugar] yaming..
[sugar] JAMES DIAMOND
[reich] mababa ang lipad:
[reich] George Pakalapati
[reich] I do not want to be subscribed to the credit vrap anymore. (ano daw?)
[reich] wala ng maisip magulang nito:
[reich] Daniella Daniels

[sugar] hahahah


another day. another chapter. another weird, busy IM box.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Don't Need The Sun to Shine.

dedicated sa inyong lahat na nagpapasaya sa akin. lalo na sa iyo, sa iyo, at sa iyo.

sa taong nakakabasa ng isip ko, buti na lang hindi si Charlie yun. sa babaitang ito, for no apparent reason. hahaha.

sa iyo kasi nasa workforce ka na, kabatak. at sa mga kuya ko sa team. you all know who u are. pati na rin kay Pau (naks, special mention).

sa besprens kong si Scarface at si Wena.

at sa lahat ng mahal ko sa buhay.

(fade: Lovingly Yours, Helen themesong)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It's been a while
But your smile
Always brightens up my day

I guess you know
Because it shows
You can see it on my face
It's like you've put a spell on me
Feels like you've captured me
And baby
This is how I feel...

Don't need the sun to shine
To make me smile
Don't care if it's dark outside
Cos I got you
And though the rain may fall
No I won't care at all
Coz baby
I know that I got you

Every day
There's a change
You bring out the best in me
My inner soul
Is what you know
That is how you speak to me
You seem to understand
You know just who I am
And baby
This is how I feel...

Don't need the sun to shine
To make me smile
Don't care if it's dark outside
Coz I got you
And though the rain may fall
No I won't care at all
Cos baby
I know that I got you


Don't need a rocket man
To help me touch the sky
I don't need to fly a plane
To get this high

Don't need to hitch a ride
When I could run a million miles
Yes I would
Just to see you smile...

Don't need the sun to shine
To make me smile
Don't care if it's dark outside
Coz I got you
And though the rain may fall
I won't care at all
Coz baby
I know that I got you

Thursday, May 19, 2005

and the reason is YOU

sa mga araw na nakakainis... nakakabagot... nakakapang-lamya... isang tao lang ang nakakapagpasaya sa akin sa opisina.

[reich] lagi tong may sakit
[reich] Oscar A. Troncoso
[reich] sama ko talaga. wala kasi ako sa mood magturo... lalo na look alike ni
[reich] alicia keys
[YOU] hahahaha
[YOU] baka bigla nalang yan kumanta jan ha
[reich] ilan ka na
[YOU] 85
[reich] konti lang pala eh
[reich] 105
[YOU] natataranta na tuloy ako
[reich] bwisit eh
[YOU] hahahaha
[YOU] wag na kc magemail
[reich] kapatid niya kaya is james?
[reich] Bond, Jason
[YOU] o si mighty
[reich] hay... salamat
[reich] eto mahilig sa kornik
[reich] LeeAnne Corn
[YOU] may maisan siguro yan
[reich] kaano-ano kaya niya si Nodd?
[reich] neven botros (banggitin na parang ngongo... nyix is a neven numer... one is nodd)
[YOU] kaaway yan ni popoye (hahaha. mali sfelling!)
[reich] Carolyn S. Valcanas (kakatakot, baka sumabog!)
[reich] TAWA!
[reich] Thomas Reich, O DI BA?
[reich] akoy isang apelyido
[YOU] korek
[reich] cute o:
[reich] Alice Mae Applequist
[reich] err....
[reich] Polina Liflyandsky (may fly and sky.... cute!)
[reich] Please advise me of the statues of my case. (the statues are still rock hard)
[reich] cute o... pdeng name ng aso:
[reich] Ify U. York
[reich] nagdo-donate cguro to:
[reich] Bridget Livers
[YOU] ang yaman na siguro nito
[YOU] Cory L Coker (Cojuangco na, addict pa... mayaman nga.)
[reich] I wish to cancer my monthly membership (maraming taong ayaw magka-cancer)
[reich] plse. send confirmation that this was received via e-mai. (sayo naman pala pinadala eh)
[reich] cute din to:
[reich] sixto pepin (wawa... anim lang ang ipin)
[reich] Abigail Wojcik (banggitin ng silent J)
[reich] IRENEUSZ NOWAK (you run, no wak!)
[reich] i wony to cancel my account witch experian (ok, fine!)
[reich] bobo@joink.com (joink! joink!)

thanks, e-mai.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

utak biya

ang sakit ng ulo ko.

etong dalawang katabi ko, naga-ayos ng blog nila. gusto ko mang gawin din yun, tinatamad ako dahil sa pesteng sakit ng ulo ko.

maraming natutuwa sa lay-out ng blog ko. ako naman, natutuwa sa mga Javascripts nito. kaya wina-warning-an ko na kayo... wag kayong mag-right click lagi... good luck if you press too much. hehehe.

galing nung gumawa nito, dami niyang naisip na ipalaman sa template na to. from the glittery links to the star fader... sipag!

weniwei... nami-miss ko ang mommy ko... kasi ang tagal ko ng hindi nakakapanood ng sine.. siya lang naman lagi kong kasama sa sine eh. sniff*

cge na... iuuntog ko muna ulo ko sa workstation ko.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

mga ginawa

linggo ngayon.
napaka-init sa Pilipinas.
kahit sampung beses akong maligo hindi maalis ang lagkit ng pakiramdam.
kaya nagtsaga na lang ako sa dalawang beses.
eto't nagkakamot ako ng mukha sa kati at lagkit.
labinlimang minutos pa lamang ang lumilipas pagtapos ng aking pangalawang ligo.

pumunta dito si Kuya, Liza at Bea.
pumunta kami sa SM para maghanap at bumili ng mga gamit na ipadadala namin sa mga magulang namin na nasa Amerika.
sumakit na ang paa ko, hindi pa rin kami nakakahanap ng longsleeved shirt para kay Mama na ipangloloob daw niya.
kailangan cotton.
kailangan plain.
naisip ko na sa men's na lang, yung parang camisa de chino (kung tama man na yun ang tawag dun).
nakabili na rin ako ng iba pang kailangan nila gaya ng socks, Pond's whitening vitamin cream, moisturizing cream, betnovate at kung anu-ano pang ka-cherba-han.
Spring po ngayon sa NY.
Sabi ng tatay ko, nagbabakbak na daw ang mukha niya (kaya kelangan niya ng betnovate), at yung buhok niya ay mabibilang na lamang daw.
what more pag winter?

kumain kami ng halo-halo sa Chowking.
si Bea bigla na lamang naghihiyaw na parang belyas.
Hala.
Pagkakita namin, meron itong nilalanding kulot na batang nakasakay sa stroller.
dyaskeng bata.

pasado alas syete na ng gabi.
inaantok na ko.

ba-bye.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

being around nice equipment

i just wanna remember that it is indeed a nicer workstation because everything, and i mean EVERYTHING is working there.

i got to talk to SCARFACE for more than an hour (i think) because of the nice workstation.

i lab u, workstation by the window with Avaya extension number 29166. i hope i will never have to give you up.... never gonna let you down... never gonna turn around and... desert you...

dammit, i miss the 80's.

Friday, May 13, 2005

hello.... im gonna start constructing looking for a new template for my blog... anyway, i changed it to this for the meantime...

i know she is not too pleased about this layout since i know what she likes... I sometimes think that I know more about her than other people closer to her. hehehehe....

anyway, i've been keeping mum about past events... i have been busy with work and getting in touch with my parents in Queens.

Highlights:

we will have a new supervisor.
we moved to a new a nicer another workstation.
Si Charlie na buwang lokaret siraulo baliw, nandito pa rin.

Arolf is still afraid of rain.

'til then.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Rosalinda

Mama Rose I could go on and on about how fine a mother I have... I could waste away the time and days and spent numerous hours working on this blog about how good a mother I have...

but i won't. because it is futile to write something about her, when she doesn't know that I have this page. I will tell her instead.

it is true... absence makes the heart grow fonder.

i love my mother. She is the best. I thank her for everything that I am.

Adelina

This is for my Lola Adelina, whom we fondly call Mama Deling.
When we were younger, we would go to our Lola's house
directly from school instead of our own.
As soon as we get there, we call out her name... and she comes running to us.

She was the most kind person I have ever met. Never had a bad bone in her body.
Never speaks ill of others... and she is a fabulous cook.

She was the one who took out all my milk teeth... she pulled them with a string.
She made me warm milk when my tummy aches.

And when she was sick with cancer, I was the one who read to her...
It made me realize how easy life can be taken away from us...
I can never forget how she looked at me when I was reading her horoscope for her (Leo)...
how her bony hands felt when I held her.

The doctors told us that there was nothing that we could do...
but she didn't go...
The doctors told us that it will be a few days...
she didn't go...

she was in a coma for weeks... it felt like years to me.

when my Tito Johnny came to her bedside at last,
she opened her eyes, looked up...
and left this earth.

it was like she was just waiting for him... her prodigal son.

i terribly miss her, and will always remember her to be someone I wish I was...
aside from my own mother, she was the best mother I knew.

==============================

Papa Fed and Mama Deling

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Darling I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

Although the sun will never shine the same again
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say...

Friday, May 06, 2005

praying for a miracle

praying for a man like this


Lately you've been questioning
If I still see you the same way
coz through these trying years
We gonna both physically change
Now don't you know you'll always be
The most beautiful woman I know
So let me reassure you darlin' that
My feelings are truly unconditional

See I'll love you when your hair turns gray, girl
I'll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change, No

I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeah
Girl the way we are is how its gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change

Cause I'm not impressed, more or less
By them girls in the T.V and magazines
Cause honestly I believe that your beauty
Is way more than skin deep
Cause everything about you makes me feel
I have the greatest gift in the world
And even when you get on my last nerve
I couldn't see myself being with another girl

So don't waste your time worrying about
Small things that ain't relevant to me
'Cause to my understanding you're all I want and need
See what I'm trying to say is I'm here to stay
and as long as your love doesn't change
Baby, baby darling I swear that I,
I swear I ain't going nowhere, no.

You are my baby
Don't you change baby
I love you, got to know, Yeah, yeah

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

para mi bebe



When I'm feelin' blue, all I have to do
is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue



when you're close to me, I can feel your heartbeat
I can hear you breathing in my ear



wouldn't you agree?
baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.



Anytime you want to, you can turn me on to
anything you want to, anytime at all



when I kiss your lips, ooo I start to shiver
can't control the quivering inside



wouldn't you agree?
baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.



When I'm feelin' blue, all I have to do
is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue



when I'm in your arms, nothing seems to matter
my whole world could shatter, I don't care



wouldn't you agree?
baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.



we've got a groovy kind of love



we've got a groovy kind of love

God's Gift to a Mother in Need

I don't need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I've always needed something
But I've got all I want
When it comes to loving you
You're my only reason
You're my only truth



I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you



You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds rage
And it's so amazing
'cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now
'cause you've brought me too far



I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
Oh yes I do



I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
Oh yes I do
I need you

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

My Miel...

a mother's day, first child special


my miel






Well I want you to notice
To notice when I'm not around
And I know that your eyes see straight through me
And speak to me without a sound

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a mother should love her daughter


When I walked out this morning
I cried as I walked to the door
I cried about how long I'd be away for
I cried about leaving you all alone

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a mother should love her daughter


So I wanted to say this
Cuz I wouldn't know where to begin
To explain to you what I have been through
To explain where your mommy has been

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a mother should love her daughter


Sweet Anea Roshyl....
Sweet Anea Roshyl....

Sunday, May 01, 2005

the ordeal.

pagod... hapong-hapo... ginawa ko kasi ang blog nitong babaitang ito. hindi naman sa nagrereklamo... kasi nung natapos ako, natuwa ako sa sarili ko... tsaka mahal ko siya, kaya kahit anong ikakasaya niya, gagawin ko... wag lang kumanta ng 'My Way' sa opisina, ah.

ang siste, si pogee, maraming kaartehan sa katawan... well... dapat lang kasi blog niya yun, at dapat lang na ayon sa gusto niya ang hitsura nito... kaso lang, hindi kami jive ng gusto eh... she finds something wrong with one template to another... wish ko lang, ok na to... kung meron mang babaguhin, sana hindi ko kailanganin ang himala...

kasi po naman ay pinaghirapan ko rin naman ito... 3 oras! o di ba? samantalang kapag ang template ko ang iniiba ko, matagal na ang isang oras... 45 minutes nga lang eh. ang nakapagtataka, napaka-simple ng template ng blog niya... samantalang ako ay napakaraming abubot...

ang gusto kasi niya ay minimalistic, simple, natural, zen, yin yang... gaya niya. mas mahirap pala pag simple. ewan.

sana lang, nakuha ko ang gusto niya, dahil kung hindi....


IIYAK AKO!!!!

=======================================

inuubo ako ngayon... PoNg is on sick mode.