Wednesday, May 25, 2005

some people are moles.

when i was growing up, i had a crazy notion about moles. Not the hairy kind that lives in the ground... i kinda like counting how many moles i have on my arms... sadly, i had none... i only have one birthmark (that i considered a mole), and it was situated at the exact point where the Messiah's nail might have gone out.

i envied people who had a lot... those fair-skinned damsels that if they sell their moles for a cent, they can buy a soda.

i thought, maybe the moles they have represented the number of people that made a difference in their lives.

it was weird. But let me tell you what's weird-er.

when i was in highschool, i had a friend named Trisha, that i loved so much... she was there to tell me all sorts of stories, all sorts of life-changing, stupid-at-times, sort of stories that have, well, helped me to become what i am now.

i noticed a mole in my right hand starting to grow.

and when we drifted apart... it faded, but it's still visible...

and when i was in college, I met Bes... just like Trisha, we molded into a beautiful circus-like, fairytale-like friendship... she experienced what i did, and vice versa.

that year, another mole in my left thumb appeared...

years after, we remained best of friends with occasional fights and flaws... but sadly, the mole is starting to fade...

when i worked here, i met a lot of good people... but one person have won me over... we shared a lot of sense and nonsense that i thought, i ought to have a new mole by now...

and then it came, and it was situated at the most funny place ever--middle finger of my left hand. don't ask me why i considered it funny, but it was to me.

and it isn't fading... and i pray that it won't...

last week, i noticed one very visible mole at the palm of my hand... it left me thinking who it might be representing...

i thought, could it be her? but i thought, nah... i love her, but we haven't traded a lot of secrets yet...

and then i thought, could it be her instead? but i thought, nah... same as the first one, we haven't traded enough secrets... not yet... but time will come... and i'm sure that the my mole will be on my butt.

if i tell a person a secret, it means that i have established trust in that person... and it is important in every kind of relationship.

i ticked off every possible person, until i came up with someone i've known for only a few months, but have made a significant change in my life... who laughed at my crazy, corny jokes... who stands up to some people who made me desperately sad... who told me all sorts of things that we can only understand... who cared enough to 'listen'... and aside from a 4-year old cute girl, had the guts to call me Teacher Rae.

and i thought...

yeah.

To you, thanks for being a mole at the palm of my hand. I'm positive that you will be there whenever i need someone to fill the gaps between my fingers.

I wish you will never fade.

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