Sunday, July 24, 2005

am i out of my mind?

yes, this is not an illusion.

might be a delusion for me, but you're seeing this right.


reich is deliriously happy.


how would you know?

look at this god-awful template!

i can't even find the right words to describe it.

it's...

it's...

...girl-y.

motherly-love kind of girly.

wedding-next-month kind of girly.

sweet-sixteen-or-about-to-die kind of girly.

oh.

my.

God.

a cookie-baking-grandmother kind of girly.

this is giving me the creeps.

weniwei, don't forget to vote for this, er, blog on Pinoy Top Blogs... find the link on my right side bar. when you get to the site, click on YES, then search for my blog using my title as search reference, and then rate this god-awful-tender-loving-puke-generating blog.

er, thanks!

The Island

kahapon ng pauwi na ako... naisip kong dumaan ng Glorietta para maghanap ng libro tungkol sa Asperger's Syndrome.... wala akong nakita sa National, pero similar books (ADHD/Autism/Dyslexia) there are worth 800 - 2000 bucks, so i think kahit na meron akong makita hindi ko siya mabibili...

isa lang ang solusyon na nakikita ko dyan, ang magpabili kay Scarface sa Amerika. hahaha.

at habang naglalakad ako sa may sinehan, nakita ko ang The Island na showing na pala... naalala ko na nung pinakita yun, naintriga ako sa mangyayari kaya gusto ko siyang panoorin... ang problema ko, wala ako sa mood manood mag-isa. kaya tinext ko si Ronald at nilibre ko siya ng sine (nilibre naman niya ako ng bulalo after)...

predictable siya para sa akin... kasi wala pang kalahati ng pelikula (nung pumunta siya sa chamber na may contamination para makausap ang kaibigan niya) nahulaan ko na... syempre spoiler ako, sinabi ko na kay Ronald na ganun ang mangyayari... hehehe.

maganda ang action scenes... pero sobrang kaduda-duda na hindi sila namatay sa mga eksenang yun, lalo na nung bumagsak sila galing sa mataas na building.

Ang tanong... paano kung dumating ang panahon na maging ganoon ang sibilisasyon? To resort to cloning to save or lengthen lives. To kill clones just to give your dying self their organs. To treat clones like spare car parts.

Hindi ako magiging plastik... for Science to think of ways to save lives is a good thing. I'm saying this coz I have children. The thought of losing them is unbearable.

Pero ang cloning? As in human cloning? My God. Sana kung ang ik-clone lang is yung liver mo, or yung lungs mo... as in partly cloning... pero hindi buong tao tulad ng nasa pelikula... na papatayin ang clone mo na isa na ring tao...

Tampering with what God has created? We are not God. There is only one supreme being that can make and take a life, that's what I believe.

Weniwei, it was a nice movie lalo na if you're bored out of your mind like me.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Usapang Bulbol

Oh, yes. Isang usapin na hindi magandang pakinggan sa iba, pero com'on... reality is, lahat ng grown-ups merong bulbol... er.. except sa mga medyo pinagpala ng Diyos.

Wala lang... naisip ko lang siya habang naliligo ako kaninang umaga at ito ay hindi dahil sa kahit ano pa mang rasong iniisip ninyo. Naisip ko lang, bakit kailangan na meron nun... at ang sagot ay nakita ko sa Gugel. Basahin niyo na lang siya later... Let's move on.

Dahil naisip ko ito kanina, kinausap ko ang dalawang babaeng kakilala ko na itatago ko na lang sa pangalang Simang at Timang tungkol sa bagay na ito. Ang mga usapan ay hindi literal na ganito, pero sort of.... at para kay Simang at Timang, wag magagalit, jokejokejoke lang po.

Ako: May naisip na akong isusulat sa blag ko... Usapang Bulbol! (sabay kampay ng kamay)

(snickering bitches)

Simang: Bakit naman yan?

Ako: Kasi naliligo ako kanina, at naisip ko lang.

Simang: Ah, alam ko na... naisip mo yan nung kasalukuyang mong shine-shave yung ano mo.

Ako: Hindi ah. Ang tanong, bakit kelangang may bulbol?

Simang: Ewan ko (may kasamang simangot, kaya Simang ang ipinangalan ko sa kanya)... kadiri nga yun kaya nga shine-shave ko yung akin. Parang nagga-gather ng dumi.

Ako: Ano ka ba? Eh, sabi nga nila protection nga daw yun eh. Tingnan niyo na? Kanina wala pa akong naisip na sasabihin sa ipo-post ko, ngayon meron na! I really should be writing this down.

Simang: Basta ako shine-shave ko.

Ako: May naisip lang ako. Alam mo ba na ang burnek ay konektado sa iyong mata?

Timang: Ay oo, matagal na yan.

(Simang, obviously have not heard of the joke went on...)

Simang: Pano nangyari yun?

Ako: Cge, subukan mong bunutin ang burnek mo, at sisingkit ang mata mo.

(Simang collapses in giggles... hanggang sa napag-usapan namin kung gano kasakit yun sigurado...)

Simang: Yung nanay ko nga iniisa-isa yung bulbol niya ng chane eh... pramis! Kasi ayaw niyang i-shave kasi nagch-chafe daw.

(taena, di ba?)

Ako at Timang: Wahhhhaaaatttt???? Ang sakit nun!

Timang: Eh ako nga naranasan ko yung naipit yun eh, masakit na sobra... chaniin pa?

Ako: Kasi dapat naman tini-trim yun no...

Timang: Eh kasi baka humaba lalo.

(Ngayon siguro di na kayo magtataka kung bakit Timang ang ipinangalan ko
sa kanya.)


Hay... hanggang dito na lang... hindi ko na kayang ikwento pa ang mga sumusunod na usapin. Isipin niyo na lang na pinaguusapan namin ito, kasabay ang pagkain ng mabuhok na mais... yummy, di ba? isipin niyo na lang kung ano pang mga kabalbalan ang pwede kong maikwento.

Ikaw, ano sa tingin mo? Bakit kelangang may bulbol?

Nagshe-shave ka ba, trim, o tinitirintas mo na lang in a cornrow?

Explain mo nga.


p.s.
i admit in having pubic hair nicely trimmed from a beauty salon... (as if u'l ever believe me...), but i don't know if i'm either blessed or doomed as not having armpit hair (i've had one or two that i've sadistically plucked out) upon reading the articles below:

from Ask Alice:


Dear Alice,

My question has been puzzling my friends. Why have pubic hair? What's its point?

-Big Scary Man with a Piece of Cheese

what Alice has to say...

You may also read other answers provided by Ask Alice readers. It enlightened me.

Chef D'Angelo and indigestion

Nung isang araw, nagulat kami ng tinanong kami ni Anne kung nagmamadali kaming umalis...
magpapakain daw kasi siya dahil nagdaan ang kanyang birthday.

Matagal na naming gustong kumain sa Chef D'Angelo, ngunit, datapwat,
subalit laging maraming tao... kaya ngayon, nung nakita naming walang
masyadong tao pa, doon na kami kumain... ang inorder ko ay chicken pesto,
at si Mai, fettucini, si Anne yung sampler na may pizza, chicken at salad...
ng dumating ang food ni Mai, muntik na akong mapamura... hindi naming alam
na marami pala ang servings nila doon... hindi naman kasi ako maraming
kumain ng pasta kasi nabubusog ako agad... ang kaso, nakakahiya naman
kay Anne kung hindi namin uubusin...

at hindi naman niya sinabing marami pala ang servings dun!
sabi niya kasi baka daw isipin namin tinitipid niya kami...
kaya umuwi akong maluha-luha sa busog. nagdarasal sa jeep na
sana ay hindi ako atakihin ng ubo, kasi siguradong isusuka ko ang pesto.

pagdating sa bahay, jumebs na ko, naligo na ko, hindi pa rin
natanggal ang masamang pakiramdam ko... ayoko namang isuka ang
kinain ko kasi sayang, medyo mahal, at masarap ang pesto...
kaya nakatulog ako mga 2:30 na ng umaga.

Pero weniwei, masarap ang pagkain, kaya pala laging puno ang restawran na ito.
Ito ang mga litrato namin sa naturang paglamon.








at eto, ang hitsura ng mga engot na busog...
yung legs ko nga pala, hindi ko inunat ng tuluyan,
kasi kung ganun ang gagawin ko, hindi kami pantay-pantay...
iba na talaga kapag matangkad. hehe.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Asperger's Syndrome and My Little Rain Man

I posted this on Multiply and sent this as an email to all my friends and relatives, sharing the good news about Dale... this has a more happier tone to it, that's why i'm posting it here, too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hello.

Yesterday, we went to a Developmental Pediatrician to have Dale assessed for the second time. The first time if you remember was when he was almost 3 years old.

He was diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder. I know mahirap siyang intindihin... ako rin nung una, nalilito nung pinagaralan namin ito sa UP.

Nasa ibaba ang medyo scientific na page-explain ng differences ng AUTISM per se, at ng AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER (ASD), in which Dale falls.

Ngayon, under ng ASD, meron pang ibang categories, kaya tinawag na spectrum (meaning range).. which u can also find below.

Since bata pa masyado si Dale noon, hindi pa talaga pwedeng ma-pinpoint kung talagang AUTISTIC si Dale or under lang siya ng ASD.

Ngayong 6 years old na siya, the Dev Ped pinned it down to Asperger's Syndrome, which they also call high-functioning autism.

He has certain qualities or characteristics as that of an autistic child, but he has normal or even above average intelligence, and can express himself using the appropriate language.

Whereas, pag autistic, low ang intelligence (in all aspects, or is exceptional to only one--autistic savant) at hindi rin marunong mag-express ng feelings.

If you are thinking if it makes a whole lot of difference, the answer is very much so. Coz people with Asperger's Syndrome, with the right intervention, can live a normal life in the future.

he may finish school, and land a job. These aspects, I was very much worried about before.

So when the doctor told me that what Dale had was Asperger's, I could've jumped for joy... natanggalan ako ng napakaraming tinik sa dibdib...

Today, all my colleagues told me I looked it... and I told them it's because i really was happy.

Even if I didn't jump for joy, I settled to treating the kids with pizza yesterday. Hahahaha. I told them that we have to celebrate that day for Dale.

Masaya din ako because konti lang talaga mali ni Dale sa assessment. When he was asked to draw a man, he drew a stick figure. when he was asked to draw a woman, he drew another stick figure, but this time, it had two curved lines on its head resembling pigtails, and it had a skirt on. meaning: he can distinguish. even if it did looked like an ant to me.

when he was asked to draw a house, all of us cracked up. Coz he drew it complete with a chimney with smoke coming out of it.

the doctor was impressed. all of us where. nagulat din ako coz he answered questions when i didn't know he could do so. nagulat ako kasi alam pala niya yung mga bagay na yun.

Now to tell it all... syempre happiness is coupled again with some small problems.... all can be remedied with money. hahahaha.

intervention needed was behavior modification therapy which costs about 500 per session... which the doctor told us will be at least once a week depending on the therapist... so if the therapist decides that it's twice or thrice a week... it resembles an arm and a leg to me. haha.

the therapist's assessment (2500) is different from the Dev Ped's assessment which cost us 1500. the therapist's assessment is more thorough and for 3 consecutive days.

and the Dev Ped decided Dale can already be mainstreamed into a regular school... but not next year. and not in the nearby public preschool. She wants it to be done NOW. in a private preschool with only 10-15 students (Prep level). this will be done together with SPED school. so parang 2 schools ang aatenan niya... pero less na sa SPED.

these are some problems i am facing right now... but i know i can cope with it in some way.

i will be talking to his teacher on my day-off and we'll start from there. kasama rin kasi ang teacher niya sa pagpa-plan ng intervention for him.

for now, ninanamnam ko ang happiness. ayoko munang isipin ang mga kontra. hahahaha.

As i've said before, in terms of Dale's condition, God gives me happiness in small servings... but now, God gave me more than I could swallow.

my little Rain Man Please join me in thanking God for this big miracle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Autism is a developmental disability that affects a person's ability to communicate, understand language, play, and interact with others. Autism is a behavioral syndrome, which means that its definition is based on patterns of behaviors that a person exhibits. Autism is not an illness or a disease. It is not contagious and, as far as we know, it is not acquired through contact with the environment.

Autism is a neurological disability that is presumed to be present from birth and is always apparent before the age of three. Although autism affects the functioning of the brain, the specific cause of autism is unknown. In fact, it is widely assumed that there are most likely multiple causes, each of which may be manifested in different forms, or subtypes, of autism.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is an increasingly popular term that refers to a broad definition of autism including the classical form of the disorder as well as closely related disabilities that share many of the core characteristics. ASD includes the following diagnoses and classifications:

(1) Pervasive Developmental Disorder—Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), which refers to a collection of features that resemble autism but may not be as severe or extensive;

(2) Rett's syndrome, which affects girls and is a genetic disorder with hard neurological signs, including seizures, that become more apparent with age;

(3) Asperger syndrome, which refers to individuals with autistic characteristics but relatively intact language abilities, and;

(4) Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, which refers to children whose development appears normal for the first few years, but then regresses with the loss of speech and other skills until the characteristics of autism are conspicuous. Although the classical form of autism can be readily distinguished from other forms of ASD, the terms autism and ASD are often used interchangeably.

Asperger's Disorder is the term for a specific type of pervasive developmental disorder which is characterized by problems in development of social skills and behavior. In the past, many children with Asperger's Disorder were diagnosed as having autism, another of the pervasive developmental disorders, or other disorders. While autism and Asperger's have certain similarities, there are also important differences. For this reason, children suspected of having these conditions require careful evaluation.

In general, a child with Asperger's Disorder functions at a higher level than the typical child with autism. For example, many children with Asperger's Disorder have normal intelligence. While most children with autism fail to develop language or have language delays, children with Asperger's Disorder are usually using words by the age of two, although their speech patterns may be somewhat odd.

Most children with Asperger's Disorder have difficulty interacting with their peers. They tend to be loners and may display eccentric behaviors. A child with Asperger's, for example, may spend hours each day preoccupied with counting cars passing on the street or watching only the weather channel on television. Coordination difficulties are also common with this disorder. These children often have special educational needs.

Although the cause of Asperger's Disorder is not yet known, current research suggests that a tendency toward the condition may run in families. Children with Asperger's Disorder are also at risk for other psychiatric problems including depression, attention deficit disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The outcome for children with Asperger's Disorder is generally more promising than for those with autism. Due to their higher level of intellectual functioning, many of these children successfully finish high school and attend college. Although problems with social interaction and awareness persist, they can also develop lasting relationships with family and friends.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Asperger's Syndrome

Yan ang diagnosis ngayon kay Dale... Nung una siyang in-assess ni Dra. Alexis Reyes, ang diagnosis ay Autism Spectrum Disorder... meaning hindi pa sigurado kung anong klase o nasaang kategorya si Dale... mahirap din kasing mag-diagnose agad kasi bata pa....

Kanina, masayang masaya ako kasi una sa lahat, sumama si Ronald sa assessment... Naghalf-day ito sa pagiging store manager ng Jollibee sa may BF Parañaque... AT! siya ang nagbayad ng 1500 pesos na assessment fee. bwahahahaha.

Pangalawa, dahil konti lamang ang mali ni Dale sa mga tanong ng doktor... kulang pa lang siya sa comprehension, pero ang intellect at reading abilities ay pang-Grade 1 na...

At napatunayan na nga na si Dale ay nasa kategoryang Asperger's Syndrome... parang high-functioning autism.... na kapag naalagaan... naalalayan... ay pwedeng magawan ng paraan...

ang 'sakit' na ito ay panghabang-buhay... 'labeled' na ang anak ko na may ganitong 'sakit'. hindi ko man ito gustuhin, andito na. ang tangi na lamang naming magagawa ay sundin ang mga mas nakakaalam para 'gumaling' siya... para kahit paano ay mabuhay siya ng normal...

nung sinabi na sa amin ang kelangang gawin... hay... pagkatapos kong mabunutan ng maraming tinik, isang malaking kutsilyo na naman ang tumarak sa dibdib ko...

sabi ng doktor, pwede na siyang ilagay sa isang regular school as a 'mainstreamed' student. hay.... salamat po....

kaso lang, gusto niya, ngayon na. hindi next school year. as in, NOW NA.

unang problema: saan?

alam naman natin na ang eskwela ay nagsimula noon hunyo pa.

pangalawang problema: saang kamay ng Diyos ako kukuha ng perang pang-tuition?

sabi ng doktor, kelangan daw siyang i-therapy... behavior management... nag-refer siya ng center sa may Parañaque... ang gusto niya once a week.

tinawagan ko ang center...

pangatlong problema: meron pa palang assessment ulit doon for 3 consecutive days, sa halagang tumataginting na 2500 pesos. Dun din sasabihin ng therapist kung pwede nga ba ang once a week lang o kelangang mas marami pa (mga mukhang pera!!!).

pang-apat na problema: ang therapy mismo ay 450 pesos per session.

taena, di ba?

sa lahat ng bagay, kakambal ang pera.

pera, pera, pera!

gustuhin ko mang tulungan ang anak ko, pano ko naman gagawin yun? Ito pa lang pangaraw-araw naming gastusin sa bahay, hindi ko na mapagkasya ang sinusweldo ko, eto pa?

iniisip ko, bakit sa amin pa binigay to, bakit si Dale pa, eh hindi naman kami mayaman para matustusan ang mga pangangailangan niya? Minsan, maiisip mo tuloy, is God really merciful? Is He playing fair?

Pero naiisip ko rin naman lagi, ano na lang ang nararamdaman ng mga pamilyang mas mahirap pa sa amin na may anak ding tulad ni Dale? Pano kung mas malalang kundisyon pa ang ibinigay sa amin ng Diyos?

Pero, pinalaki ako ng mga magulang ko not to dwell on irrelevant things and to always give thanks to everything that comes our way.... Kaya, eto, alam kong pagkatapos kong mamighati ng sandali... hihinga ulit ako.

hay... ba-bye na... tumutulo na ang luha ko. bukas na ako hihinga, promise.


Asperger's Disorder is the term for a specific type of pervasive developmental disorder which is characterized by problems in development of social skills and behavior. In the past, many children with Asperger's Disorder were diagnosed as having autism, another of the pervasive developmental disorders, or other disorders. While autism and Asperger's have certain similarities, there are also important differences. For this reason, children suspected of having these conditions require careful evaluation.

In general, a child with Asperger's Disorder functions at a higher level than the typical child with autism. For example, many children with Asperger's Disorder have normal intelligence. While most children with autism fail to develop language or have language delays, children with Asperger's Disorder are usually using words by the age of two, although their speech patterns may be somewhat odd.

Most children with Asperger's Disorder have difficulty interacting with their peers. They tend to be loners and may display eccentric behaviors. A child with Asperger's, for example, may spend hours each day preoccupied with counting cars passing on the street or watching only the weather channel on television. Coordination difficulties are also common with this disorder. These children often have special educational needs.

Although the cause of Asperger's Disorder is not yet known, current research suggests that a tendency toward the condition may run in families. Children with Asperger's Disorder are also at risk for other psychiatric problems including depression, attention deficit disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Child and adolescent psychiatrists have the training and expertise to evaluate pervasive developmental disorders like autism and Asperger's Disorder. They can also work with families to design appropriate and effective treatment programs. Currently, the most effective treatment involves a combination of psychotherapy, special education, behavior modification, and support for families. Some children with Asperger's Disorder will also benefit from medication.

The outcome for children with Asperger's Disorder is generally more promising than for those with autism. Due to their higher level of intellectual functioning, many of these children successfully finish high school and attend college. Although problems with social interaction and awareness persist, they can also develop lasting relationships with family and friends.

eto na naman ako.

bagong template... hanggang kelan kaya ito tatagal???

ewan.

basta, gusto ko lang palitan.

ayan, binalik ko na ang comments... nami-miss ko rin naman ang mga boses ng iba eh.

have a nice day, Azucar.... i missed you today.

postponed

hay.... my best-laid plans.... ruined.

hehe... napagpasyahan kong hindi muna ituloy ang paga-aral ng español.... bakit ika nyo? eh pano, may sakit nga ako... kapag ako pa naman ay inubo at sinipon... nakow! mahina ang dalawang linggo.... at kapag ako ay inaatake ng ubo... suka ang katapat nito (papayat na ako)...

imaginin niyo na lang ako sa klase sa Cervantes... mga labinlimang estudyante nakikinig at nagdarasal ng taimtim na sana ay matuto kaming mag-español... at ako'y biglang aatakihin ng ubo....at ang kubeta ay nasa kabilang dulo pa ng corridor.... dyahe, di ba?

buti na lang hindi pa ako nage-enrol...

kaya eto, nagta-tsaga muna ako sa online courses at sa isang maliit na librong nabili ko... ngayon pa lang nahihirapan na ako... hindi ata madaling mag-aral ng ibang lenguahe lalo na at hindi mo ito ma-practice....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

mamaya nga palang ala-una ang pagpunta namin sa Developmental Pediatrician ni Dale. Kung anuman ang sabihin niya sa amin... tatanggapin ko ng maluwag... alam ko naman na hindi pababayaan ni Lord ang anak ko... at kahit hindi maganda ang sabihin niya ngayon... sigurado ako sa susunod, ok na.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

heeeeeka!

isang araw na nakakatamad... may sakit kasi ako... ubo at sipon... ang hirap huminga... ang tanging karamay ko ngayon ay kape.... opo. Kape. sabi nga ng mga eksperto, ang kape ay gamot sa hika... at yun ang meron ako ngayon... heeeee.... kah!

nakakabanas... at pagdating ko pa dito sa opisina... wala ang aming superbisora... punyeta. ako kasi ang kanyang assistant... at pag wala siya, ako ang in-charge... leche. hindi naman sa mahirap ang ginagawa... yun nga lang, mahirap ngayon kasi may sakit ako... at gawaan ng DTRs (Daily Time Record) ngayon... kaya kanina, maloka-loka na naman ako sa kakahanap ng mga papel na kailangan... papirma ng mga forms sa ibang supervisor... punyeta. ang sakit na ng lalamunan ko...

bukas, pupunta kami ni Dale sa doktor... nag-text na nga sa akin yung sekretarya ng doktor at pinapaalalahanan niya kami... hindi ko alam kung ang ama niya ay makakasama... siguro naman... bahala sya kung hindi siya sasama...

si Anea naman, ok na... sabi nga niya, ok daw pala pag galing sa hospital, hindi siya pinapila ng kanyang guro sa arawan... hehe. yun nga lang, patay daw siya sa exam kasi ang dami niyang hindi napag-aralan. sabi ko naman, di bale na... bawi na lang siya sa susunod. Yun nga lang, minsan namumutla pa rin siya lalo na kapag napapagod.

si Anton naman... nakow! kagabi, umalis sila ng lola niya... pagdating sa bahay ang unang sinabi, "tapos na ba yung Anghel?" at nung sinabi naming tapos na nga ang kanyang paboritong teleserye, umiyak ito... at hindi lang basta iyak-iyakan... iyak na may hikbi, may luha, may hagulgol... nagulat kaming lahat at nataranta... sabi na lang namin, mapapanood pa naman niya yun kinabukasan... ikukuwento na lang namin kung ano'ng nangyari...

hanep... ang anak ko... adik sa teleserye.

Anea was sick.

Listening: to Anea's hum

Watching: the monitor

Reading: Conversational Spanish in 7 Days (Shirley Baldwin and Sarah Boas)

Feeling: Sick


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After being away from home for almost a week... i felt sad upon reading all my messages... hehehe... being away from the internet is dreadful...

Anea was sent home from school on Monday... she had a very high fever... when she went home, she went straight to bed... her fever wouldn't go down... she could barely walk... she wasn't eating... she said she was nauseated...

On Tuesday night we brought her to the hospital already... she was shaking...

When the blood tests came in, the doctor was shaking her head... i knew then that Anea would have to be confined... it was a terrible infection they said... but they couldn't pin it down to where yet...

they had her urine examined, but it was fine... when they touched her neck, they knew instantly... the infection was coming from her nodes... she was wincing in pain...

to cut the story short, she had acute tonsilliopharyngitis... whatever that is....

she was discharged yesterday at noon...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

my own little Rain Man.

i watched Rain Man a couple of days back.... and in the middle of the movie, i felt the familiar tears streaming down my cheeks.

the movie brought back my worries.... my doubts... my confusion... my fear of the future for my son, Dale.

On the 20th, he will be assessed again by a Developmental Pediatrician... and i'm currently feeling like he was gonna take the board exams... what if he 'fails'? what if the doctor says that he still cannot be transferred to a regular school? what if she says he cannot live a normal life?

But just like what my cousin told me... just like the board exams, you get to have another try.... if not next year, then we still have the next.

there's not a day that i do not think of Dale's future... will he be able to finish school? will he be able to get a job? will he be able to get over his fear of rain? marry and have kids?

don't get me wrong.... Dale is not like the children with autism you see on tv... he does not have too many peculiar traits... he does not rock back and forth... he does not look like one at all...

but he does get scared when it rains... even when it isn't raining yet... he slams the door shut, closes the windows, and draws the blinds down when he sees the sky turning gray...

he says it's gonna rain... like a weather man.

and it always does.

and he cowardly lies down the sofa and covers his ears with a pillow, or with his fingers... and just lie there for hours on end.

and when i remove his fingers he will start screaming at me.

i asked him once why he's scared of rain... he says because it brings thunder... and he's scared of thunder... that it hurts his ears...

and the thought of how much it hurts him hurts me, too.

How long will this go on? How much more pain will my son endure? Why him? Why this?

But everyday, I still thank God for his successes and failures... days when he reasons out... days when he talks to me on the phone... days when he looks at me when he talks... days when he does not get sick... days when i wake up in the middle of the night and i see him breathing... days when he says something funny, and knowing that it was... days when he tells me what date it was yesterday, today, and the next day... days when he remembers how many of his classmates were absent the day before... days when i ask him something about the peculiar things he does, and he reasons out, and then i, feeling like a fool and ashamed of myself, finally understands why he does them, because it wasn't really peculiar to him at all... days that go by that he does not have a seizure...

Even with all the bad things that happened to me and my family... I still am grateful.


...everyday I thank God for my own little Rain Man.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

multiply

since we cannot access Blogger from the office, we cannot blog all the time... i can only update it when i'm at home and when my kids are not using the pc...

so for the meantime, i'm posting at Multiply, and then transfering my posts to Blogger when i am able.

Multiply is also a good service... you can posts pictures, videos, music, links, recipes, put something up for sale, and of course the journal.... and if u are a member, you can also comment on the posts.... you can also set the posts to be viewed by everyone, or by ur contacts only, or by certain members, or by you only... which is great if u want to remember events or secrets that you wouldnt want anyone to know. hahahaha.

i like the album feature most of all, coz i can post a lot! one album i think already carries more than a hundred and fifty pictures!

anyway, you might want to try it... and if you have an account there already, add me up... drop me a line to say hi!

so, goodbye Blogger for now... will be back whenever.

young love?

nagising ako ngayong umaga at ang una kong naisip ay...

pakshet. bakit nakasalamin pa ako?

hehe. pagkakain ko ng hapunan, humiga muna ako at nagkwentuhan ng anak kong si Anea... nagpaturo siya ng assignments... yun nga lang, di na pala ako nakatayo pa... nakatulog ako.

bago naman ako nakatulog, may kinuwento sa akin si Anea. meron ng manliligaw ang anak ko! siyam na taong gulang. Grade 4 ng San Isidro Catholic School. Yves daw ang pangalan ng lalaki. Ipis para sa kanya.

Lekat na buhay to. Ako nga Grade 6 nagkaron ng manliligaw eh. hahaha.

Sabi niya hindi naman daw niya pinapansin. Asar na asar daw siya. Binigyan pa nga raw siya ng bulaklak, pero hindi niya raw tinanggap.

Hindi ko nakuhang magalit o maalarma. Sa totoo lang natuwa pa nga ako eh. Isang patunay lang na maganda talaga ang anak ko. Pinagmamasdan ko nga siya kagabi at tama nga. Cute nga si Anea. Yun nga lang, hindi maayos sa katawan at mataba.

at suplada.

Sabi ko nga sa kanya sa susunod na bigyan siya ng bulaklak, tanggapin na lang niya at maayos na sabihing bata pa sila at hindi pa tama ang ganoon.

haha. halatang apektado ang anak ko. kasi hindi niya sa akin masabi ng diretso ang gusto niyang ipahayag. kinailangan pa niyang isulat sa papel. tawa kasi siya ng tawa.

hay.... young love. sana huwag mauwi sa young disaster.

weniwei, mamaya na lang ulit ang karugtong nito. papasok na ako sa opisina.