Wednesday, September 21, 2005

i want more?

i have been thinking. what could a 30-year-old mother-of-3 still want in her life?

I thought about a man... but even if i wasnt' happy, i already have one.
I thought about a stable job... but even if i wasn't contented, i already have one.
I thought about money... but i already have some.
I thought about good friends... but I already have plenty.
I thought about superb food... but Chef D' Angelo's Oreo Cheesecake is enough for me.
I thought about a house... but I'm already living in one for free.
I thought about supportive relatives... but I already have those.
I thought about loving parents... but they're just a plane ride away.
I thought about kids... but I already have 3 beautiful angels at home.
I thought about a career... but next year, I'm sure I'm gonna teach already.
I thought about quality education... but my friends are already complaining that I don't stop studying.
I thought about belief... but I already believe in one God.
I thought about peace of mind... and surprisingly, I came up blank.

...and then i stopped to think, more deeply this time.

If I have all the necessary things in life... why aren't I at peace?

Maybe, even if I do have the things listed, I may not be appreciating their existence well enough that I can't even find contentment in them. Maybe, even if I have them, I want more, and more, and more... that I find myself and things listed above falling too short for my expectations. Maybe...

...or maybe, i just think too much.

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