Monday, October 24, 2005

tell me where it hurts...

missing you

Why Is that sad look in your eyes,
Why are you crying?..
tell me now.. tell me now...
tell me why your feeling this way..
I hate to see you so down..

Is it your heart oh..
thats breakin' all in pieces..
makin' you cry..makin' you feel blue..
Is there anything that i can do?

Why dont you tell me where it hurts
now baby and i'll do my best
to make it better..
yes i'll do my best to make those tears will go away..
why dont tell me where
it hurts now tell me...
and i love you with a love so tender..
oh and if you let me stay i love all the
hurt away...

Where are all those tears coming from?..
why are they falling?..
left your heart in the cold..
you just need somebody to hold on baby..
give me a chance to put back
all those pieces.. take your broken heart..
make it just like new...there so many things that i can do...

Why dont you tell me where it hurts now baby
and i'll do my best to make it better..
yes i'll do my best to make those tears will go away..
why dont tell me where it hurts now tell me...
and i love you with a love so tender..
oh and if you let me stay i love all the hurt away...

Is it your heart oh..
thats breakin' all in pieces...
makin' you cry..makin' you feel blue..
Is there anything that i can do?...

Why dont you tell me where it hurts now baby
and i'll do my best to make it better..
yes i'll do my best to make those tears will go away..
why dont tell me where it hurts now tell me...
and i love you with a love so tender..
oh and if you let me stay i love all the hurt away...

tell me baby.. tell me..
is there anything that i can do babe?...

Why dont you tell me where it hurts now baby
and i'll do my best to make it better..
yes i'll do my best to make those tears will go away..
why dont tell me where it hurts now tell me...
and i love you with a love so tender..
oh and if you let me stay i love all the hurt away...

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Looking at an empty station

Mai is gonna be transferred to voice. Peel Here will be disbanded. How sad.

Mai and I has been together for two years now. We became closer when we transferred to the Email Team. Coming to the office everyday, and not being with her will be difficult. Of course, Anne will still be there... but it's not the same.

Sino na lang ang katabi ko sa kanan? It will be sad to look at an empty workstation.

At least we still get to share the same locker... at least we could still see each other... but still...

Mawawalan na ako lalo ng ganang magtrabaho... promise.

I hope that everything goes well with her 'new' adventure.


Yes, Mai, ako na ang magpapaduplicate. Siyet.

=========

Ang sakit na ng lalamunan ko sa kakaubo, at ng ilong ko sa kakasinghot...

Sana mahawa kayong lahat!!!!

Hehehe... Joke.

=========

Eto, tanong lang...

Mabait naman ako.... May utak naman ako kahit pano... Di naman ako (gulp) panget...

Tangina!!! Bakit walang nagmamahal sa kin????

Bakeeeeeeeet?!!!!

Dahil ba sa hindi na ko virgin? Bakit, meron pa bang virgin ngayon na kasing edad ko? Ha?!
Dahil ba sa hindi na ko sexy? Kaya nga pinanganak si Vicky Belo eh.
Dahil ba sa may asawa na ko? OO NGA PALA!!! KASAL PA PALA AKO NO?

Syet, i forgot about that.

Well, anyway, ano naman ang aayawan mo sa kin, lalo na kung baog ka? May instant family ka agad pag ako ang pinili mo. Tatlo agad anak mo. Ang ku-kyut pa. Libre masahe pag pagod ka. Libre din ang masahe pag gusto mong mapagod.

San ka pa???

Hehehe.... Yun po hindi na joke.

What If

I guess we'll never know

Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change

Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change

Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I'd never left your side

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back would you still be mine

'Cause I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
'Cause I still love you more than I can say
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
We'll never know

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

mi miel

i wish i could've given you more...
i wish i could've taught you what tears are for...
i wish you could see the beauty within...
that you could trust people again.

i promise you all the days of my life...
i'll always be thinking of you, day or night.
that i'd spend every waking moment
thinking of a time well-spent.

we'll take the day off and go someplace,
where only two of us can skip and run
i know i wasn't much of a happy face
i know you were jealous of my son.

but this i promise you...
i love you and i'll always do.
no matter what you do or say,
i'll love you however which way.

happy birthday, Anea

happy birthday, mi miel.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Be My Number Two

Won't you be my number two?
Me and number one are through.
There won't be too much to do;
Just smile when I feel blue.

And there's not much left of me.
What you get is what you see;
Is it worth the energy?
I leave it up to you.

And if you got something to say to me,
Don't try to lay your funny ways on me.
I know that it's really not fair of me,
But my heart's seen too much action.

And every time I look at you,
You'll be who I want you to,
And I'll do what I can do
To make a dream or two come true,
If you be my number two.

And if you got something to say to me,
Don't try to lay your funny ways on me.
I know that it's really not fair of me,
But my heart's seen too much action.

And every time I look at you,
You'll be who I want you to,
And I'll do what I can do
To make a dream or two come true...

If you be my number two.

Grrr....

I feel so rotten... i'm a little sick... just cough and colds... both Anne and I are sick... I feel so cold in the office... and i don't have the energy to work...

Yesterday, all i did was go online and updated my Friendster profile, added some pictures, and gave testimonials for some of my friends... we also watched HP 1-2 again.

Now that my kids and I are always sick, I'm thinking if I should resign next year... 'Coz Ronald is planning on going abroad... me and the kids won't have additional healthcards to use when i resign... now that everything is so expensive and my kids are sickly, i'm now thinking twice if I should sacrifice this stable job for a teaching job that i know won't cover my kids' medical.

My mother said and i also thought that Ronald might not provide for his kids and me when he goes outside the country... he rarely did it when he was here, so what's gonna change his mind when he leaves? (sigh)

This really leaves me thinking too much again... and my head already hurts from this stupid cough.



Last Saturday i went to see my Endocrinologist. My mother told me beforehand that maybe i should change doctors 'coz this doctor has a lot of patients and it was near to impossible to get an appointment right away, and that she already went to that doctor (since my Mom also has thyroid problems) and she thinks she's a git... but since her Saturday schedule is first come-first served, i tried to get in line... her clinic schedule starts at 9am... i was there at 9:15, she came at 10am... i waited for her for 6 hours before she called me in...

What's annoying is that she examined me for just a minute, touching my neck... and just gave me a slip of paper, an order for blood tests... what's annoying is that i waited for her for 6 hours and she wouldn't give me a medical certificate that i needed for the office, saying that she couldn't certify that i couldn't work for 'voice' since it isn't connected with my condition and that a lot of call centers have already called her about it... what's annoying is that the findings show that i have numerous cysts and masses on my neck obstructing my vocal chords and she said it isn't connected...

What's annoying is that Maxicare's internist actually told me that i should've been either operated on already or under medication, or my masses should've been thoroughly checked out because it might be cancerous (luckily, he gave me a medcert)... what's annoying is that she never did asked me how i was feeling... and since i was pissed off already, i just ignored the git doctor and went on my way.

What's truly annoying is that i wasn't able to watch the play that my son, Dale, and I were supposed to watch at St. Paul's College, showcasing special kids (his classmates and some others), just so i can finish this stupid check-up... He was accompanied by the help, instead... This was the first play that Dale watched.... she told me that Dale was ecstatic and happy and watched the play all through out... i should've been there... i should've been with him... i should've seen how he jumped and how he sang along... i should've been the one whispering to him to shush... super GRRRR!!!

So, i asked Maxicare for another doctor. I'm gonna see this new doctor two weeks from now... i wish she isn't as stupid passive as the last one.

Lesson learned: Listen to your mother.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Look What You've Done -- Jet

what have you done?Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well, you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Friday, October 14, 2005

what have you done?

this is in reference to something someone wrote somewhere,
i just couldn't post it here for his privacy:



if i were to compose a prose or something for you,
i'd probably say this:

hope

Everyday, i couldn't think of anything to think..
of anything to say that could make you smile
even for a little while... a smile that i know comes
from your heart and not from will alone.

Everyday, I’d picture everything you do,
I’d cherish and memorize every word you speak,
every place I go with you behind me
for I know that when I die,
I’ll never stop missing everything you've done,
every word you uttered
and every place we've been.

Everyday, I’d look at you, wanting to part your hair
and kiss your brows and say
“my love, why suffers thou?”
for I know that it could be my last chance
'coz I’m sure you’ll never suffer in heaven.

Everyday, I’d see to it that I’d look at you,
memorizing every line, every curve...
afraid that one day I might not be able
to see your face again for
I’m sure i cannot bring you with me to heaven.

Everyday, I’d hope and pray
that I’ll have yet another day
to do what I do everyday.




p.s.

i think i really need to kneel down...
dream and wish that someday, somehow...
i can take away ur pain...


p.p.s.

you'll probably think that i didn't write that for you. well, yes, i didnt. i wrote that for someone who i thought can get away with the wordly things in life... someone who i thought believed in karma in its entirety, and believes that just thinking about 'hurting' someone in any way, no matter how much that person have hurt him, is creating karma in himself...

someone i thought, no, i believed, til 17 and a half minutes ago...

...was a better person than this.
someone i thought, could love...

...REALLY love.
i wish it isn't too late...
for him...
for this...
for everything.



hurt

and this is where i leave you.

not for what you are...
but for what you have become.


--Reich

fun at work

working as an email agent can be fun sometimes... you get to read through thousands of emails that are funny, interesting, and sometimes, inspirational... you also get to know some 'interesting' names...

Jeis: what a weird name... M****** Owns Medicine

Me: pramis?

Jeis: bkt pramis?

Me: that's her name?

Jeis: yep

Me: parents must be pharmacists or something.

Jeis: hehehe

Jeis: eto pa

Jeis: Ag*sthiyan Th**kanayakanpalay*m

Me: oh, Lord.

a lot of fun, huh?

saving your life

save meyesterday, i only processed around 140 emails... i wasn't feeling well... the kind that you feel you are sick, but you don't have a fever or a cold. kainis...

all i do nowadays when i get home from work is take a bath, eat, read a little, and then sleep... i think i'm getting old-er... or i'm just sick.

my mother always asks me to go visit the doctor, do not put it off til tomorrow... you have a health card anyway.... but, i really cannot find the time to go... i always have this lame excuse--work.

working in a call center has only two advantages as far as i can see, it's money and a good health benefit. other than that, you can get them some place else.

but, just like what my mom said, how can you continue working and taking care of your kids, if you're sick? why don't you listen to what i'm telling you? why do you continue to put off going to get your thyroid checked? why? why? why?

i really don't know why... maybe i'm just lazy... or maybe it's the thought of another operation...

i've had six already... and i don't think i can take anymore... contrary to rumors, i'm not as tough as they think... i also have weird coward moments... big needles and scalpels are scary stuff. you might not wake up over that cold, steel table... one wrong move, one miscalculation, can send me 6 feet below. and i'm scared of that. not of dying, per se. but leaving someone behind.

i cannot bear thinking that my kids are gonna be left alone without me... other reasons cannot top that.

but then, i thought, if i put this off, my condition can worsen and then there won't be anything to do for me... then, it's like going under the knife, with just one difference--you didn't do anything to prevent it, to save yourself and your kids.

so, tomorrow, i'm gonna be waiting in a white room full of people, reading a paperback while waiting for someone to say:

"Rachelle? The doctor will see you now."

Monday, October 10, 2005

a box of chocolates

pacifieri watched Pacifier yesterday... i rented the vcd from Video City... i was not able to watch it when it was shown. it was a fun movie to watch, but i thought this kind of movie was also predictable, as i have watched similar movies in the past.

during the movie, i found myself thinking of what will happen next in the story...

will Vin Diesel be the father of the kids next?
will the kids learn something from him?
will he teach the kids how to defend themselves?
will he teach the teenage girl to drive, and the little girl to fight the nasty boy scouts?
is the real villain the former maid, or was it his superior?
will he resign from being a marine, and become a teacher?

some of my thoughts were what really happened in the long run..

and some, of course, didn't.

i guess, life is like that... we get to dream and guess about what we're gonna do or be next, but we can never assume that every dream, every guesswork will materialize. We can never be what we're not intended to be. We can never be someone we wanted to be, if we didn't do something about it.

i guess, life is like what Forrest Gump's mom always said:

Life is like a box of chocolates... you'll never know what you're gonna get.

we'll live

let's livei've lost track of time... i am thirty going on thirty one, and what have i done so far? hm... lemme think...

education-wise, i've finished college (A.B. Communication Arts) with limited knowledge. Then i've studied education, and passed the liensure examinations, making me a full-fledged professional. I might use what i've learned next year.

i was neither geeky nor dumb. but i lived.

career-wise, i've been a bank teller, a customer service representative, a marketing assistant, and now i'm an email agent. if i were to write a book, i'd say... i have nothing good at all to write about my past and present jobs.

i've neither grown nor been idle. but i lived.

love-wise, i've met wonderful, and lousy men... and eventually married one guy who has a stable job, and who lived on dreams. i am now married for 10 years to someone who does not give me his monthly salary and lets me live off mine... and lets me feed his kids off mine. i'm married to someone who does not live with me in the same house. i'm married to someone who is cruel, and hits me when he gets jealous. but i'm also married to someone who will eventually change and make me happy, coz i believe in a person's capacity to change. All he needs now is the will to do so. if i were to ask, it was a relationship that is beyond expectations... because a lot of people were expecting that it won't last. I am not promising that i will see this through years and years more. but i sure will try.

it was neither without happiness nor tears. but i lived.

children-wise, i have three, and couldn't have any more. i have smart Anea for a daughter, smarter Arolf for a son, and another smart-guy for a baby--Anton. All of them, i'm sure will go for their dreams and grow up like any other children. All of them, are also a pain in the neck.

they were neither good nor bad. but i lived.

fun-wise, i've had my fair share. i have my friends who see me through week after week of monotonous days. fun for me involves movies and tubs of popcorn, eating out at every new affordable resto in Glorietta, and taking our pictures with our camera fones.

i was neither friendless nor famous. but i lived.

faith-wise, i've never been too keen on that. you see, i do go to church from time to time. i do pray. i do teach my kids the Catholic way. i do believe that there is a God. Whoever he/she is, i really don't want to know. What's important to me is that He/She sees through mine and my loved ones days and sees to it that everything shall fall into place. Because He/She can never come down from the heavens, if that is where He/She really is, to come and save us all. I believe that all He/She can do is watch over us... and if we fall, He/She falls, too. Clutch His/Her heart like a parent, and cry... for His/Her children are there falling, and He/She couldn't do anything about it.... because not all the elements of the world is on His/Her command. He/She cannot stop another person to kill someone, or to rape someone, or to hit someone... because He/She cannot control a person.

my faith is neither true nor false. but i lived.

money-wise, i do not have a bank account. never had one, because i never had excessive cash flow. What i do have, though, is a humongous pile of debts. So, it got me thinking that maybe i just do not know how to handle money.... or maybe it was really impossible to save since I have three children, and the price of everything nowadays are just too high.

i was neither broke nor wealthy. but i lived.

i have made a lot of mistakes to get to where i am now. i've met a lot of people who broke my heart. and who mended it, too. i failed some days, but also shined at some point. i cried buckets of tears, but i also filled a room with laughter many times.

To summarize, life is neither full of uncertainties nor possibilities.

But, you'll live.

Friday, October 07, 2005

the reasons for working...

i had a fitful sleep. Reasons are my own. So when i woke up in the morning, i was still fighting enormous, noisy yawns...

i took my morning bath, and took some time off to write a quick email to my Mom, who is worried sick because I wasn't writing to her often... she actually called from California to ask the help if I was sick. Now, that's what i call intuition, coz i really wasn't feeling great. I promised i'll go back to the doctor next week. I wish i could keep promises as easy as saying "yeah, right."

i got in the office on time, and i felt okay, though not good.

i put on my earphones and immediately switched my mushy playlist to have Chicane and B2K blare so loud so I'll not feel too sleepy... Yes, even a 30-year-old mother of 3 listens how Timberland & Amp swear on "Now Drop" and call it music.

Mai and Anne were also feeling a little rotten coz, hey, we're allowed to do that. So, when I was processing my 150th email, i stopped for a while. My mind, which was already brimming with too much silly information, thought of something... again.

it thought:

why are you working? What can you gain, other than money, by working your ass off?

and then i stopped typing and chewed on my thumb nail.

why?

No matter how much I switch my sitting position, or scratch my head, or roll my eyes... i cannot seem to think of a worthy reason why i had to work, except that... I NEED TO.

because, if i were not working...

...i couldn't put food on the table.
...i couldn't pay our bills.
...i couldn't watch a movie.
...i couldn't buy load for my fones.
...i couldn't buy clothes for me and my kids.
...i couldn't pay the help who looks after my kids so i could work.
...i couldn't buy Anton's maintenance medicine.
...i couldn't send Anton and Arolf to school.
...i couldn't pay for my lunch.
...i couldn't pay for my fare.

it all boils down to MONEY. it's a vicious cycle every single day. wake up-work-home-sleep. 15th-30th paydays that haven't even arrived and the money that you are expecting is already gone and budgeted to various payables...

nothing that can make me feel worthy, or complete, or significant.

i thought i should be working and also feel good about myself that i was doing it... i thought i should be working for a purpose other than money... but what could be a significant purpose of answering 300 emails a day, typing "Dear Valued Customer", "Thank you for writing." and "We apologize for any inconvenience." over and over and over again? Will i ever be gaining knowledge by doing this for too long?

i really do not think so. and then it dawned on me that i wasted two years of my life in this company, doing something that can never change the future of other people... or even make a mark.... and it made me feel rotten.

Peel Herebut then i looked at Mai when she laughed at my corniest joke ever...
and then i looked at Anne when she said "Thanks" when i answered one of her questions...
and then i typed NP (no problem) in reply to Chris' "ty po" when i also answered his query...
and then i apologetically told Dan that i didn't have my bottle of Advil with me and felt bad that i couldn't give him a cure to his headache...
and then i went out of my way so Augee can listen to "Here Without You" by "3 Doors Down"...
and then i deleted SPAM from the mailboxes so that they won't come in to the other rep's workspace, and our supervisor Claire won't have too many SPAM emails to delete herself...

and then i smiled.

how could i be so shallow? thinking that what i'm doing cannot alter one's life? that what i do for or say to people cannot be counted as doing something worthwhile?

Now, I realized... answering emails is just a job. It's what happens in between that can make you grow.

Whew. I think it's time to switch to Phil Collins. B2K is getting to my head.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

handling disappointment

disappointedour team was about to have an outing at Pansol, Laguna... it was all set... We were excited at the prospect of relaxing, and enjoying even a day outside the home-office routine. I even texted one of our former teammate, Otep, and invited him to come along... he said yes, and even filed for a leave so that he can join us... i was full of ripe thoughts about how we can spend the day...

until one by one, my teammates begged off... different reasons... different scenarios...

as i was the one who set the said outing, i felt disappointment hovering over me like a nimbus cloud. and when the day came that only 5 of us were sure of going... i felt totally sick and disgusted. the outing was off... how can 5 people from a team of 15 enjoy themselves?

i cannot blame it on these people... i cannot blame it on anything or anyone but myself.

Mai already warned me that this could happen, that this is a long-shot.... but i believed in people and i believed in their word. now, it got me thinking that BELIEF is not a guarantee that you will get what you want or desired. Belief is not enough.

as i told Mai, there was only one lesson learned from this all--wag kang epal.

i blame myself for believing that the the people around me can be considerate enough to think that the place was all set, already reserved and Otep have already filed for a leave.

i blame myself for believing that we were not a bunch of 12-year-olds who can think of what others are gonna be feeling...

i blame myself for being so eager to have this team building, so we can get to know each other more... since during feedback they always complain that we do not go out...

i blame myself... period.

now, i am sitting on my workstation, feeling dumb for blaming myself. because, why should i? i do not have a hold on people. i do not have a hold on how they feel, how they act, how they think... it was not me who made a mess of things... i have a good intention about this outing and getting this team together, even if it means being with some people you do not really know and felt indifferent on one time or another.

but this is what really matters... TEAM BUILDING... building a bond... building a chain... building friendships....

but much as i would like to feel a little lighter, there really is nothing in my heart but pure disappointment. and disappointment is one thing that i can rarely shake off easily. this will go on for God knows when. and i feel sorry for what i am feeling... coz this disappointment can wash over me, and control me, and make me angry.

there was only one person who taught me how to handle it... and it was nothing like anything i could have thought or even fathom... it was something that does not come to mind at the first spark of the plug... it was not something i thought was useful or even efficient....

it was prayer.

Just say this:
Lord, make me strong to resist all kinds of temptation. Show me how I may glorify You in my thoughts, words and actions. Grant me the grace to be quick to forgive, to grow in patience and to humbly regard others as more important than myself. I pray for the grace and strength to practice self-control in my life. Amen.

thanks, Ben.

For teaching me that the first person to call was the Lord.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

time travel

sleepy20 years ago...

30 less 20 is ten... hm... i would be in Grade 5.... i started elementary early... at 6 years old... i skipped pre-school and all that jazz... hehe... i would be studying like crazy... i would have had a crush on Patrick i guess... he was really not handsome but he was fair... and someone named Mario was having a crush on me... yey. haha.

15 years ago...

i would be 15... hm... i would be in 4th year high school... be busy in finding out what to take in college... i'd be going steady with June, i guess... and having a crush on Ronald... hahaha... sadly, i wasn't really happy in high school...

10 years ago...

i would be 20, i would have been miserably married, coz i was pregnant with my first-born, Anea... i would also be graduating from college, and working at FEBTC as a Customer Service Associate... i would have been in constant communication with Bes who i met first year in college... same godawful fate as mine... yers.

5 years ago...

i'd be 25... would have been working for Sto. Domingo... would have met a lot of interesting people, and men, come to think of it... religious and lay, both... met wonderful friends... would be terribly miserable because of Ronald... a lot of women, so little time for him...

3 years ago...

27... taking up my M.A. in UP, ata... hm... yeah, i was... Ronald told me he didn't love me anymore while he was crying the year before... and on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, i was on the phone talking to someone who resides in the south which i said yes to.... was superbly happy for 4 months of that year... met wonderful friends again in UP... and actually worn my house clothes to school... how cool was that? yeah. way cool.

Last year...

i was already working here in PS... answering hundreds of emails a day... also met a lot of wonderful people... handled a bunch of kids (and Tatang)--the email team... already talking non-stop to Mai... hehe.

oh, and i passed the Licensure Examinations for Teachers... yebah.

This year...

hm... still the email team... still Mai... but now, with the added attraction of Kuting... been in constant IM communication where i learned a lot about love, the Gods, and living with Anubis...

Yesterday...

slept... ate... slept...

Last night...

oh, nothing much... talked to Mai... went online... looked at the sky... missed someone... stopped the urge to text...

Today...

will not do anything but eat... i haven't eaten a decent meal for a week... i lose appetite easily this week, why, i don't have the slightest idea... someone told me maybe i was in love... yeah, right. as if u didn't know.

Tomorrow...

i wish i wake up early so i won't be late... kiss my kids... i'm gonna go to the office, delete SPAM, answer emails... i guess talk some more and laugh a lot...

Next year...

i wish i wouldn't have to leave, but i guess i have to move on... i'm gonna miss a lot of people... it seems like everyone is gonna leave next year... i dunno...

5 to 10 years from now...

hm... wish... that i am a successful person... settled... happy... truly, amazingly happy.... as if there is such a thing.... but optimism never hurt anyone, right? Ü

the perfect man

Tony, perfect soni watched the Perfect Man alone 2 days ago... it was a healthy movie... but after watching it, i was compelled to think about a lot of things...

a perfect man... is there such a man?

it is different with each woman's perception, i think... coz what women wants is someone who can understand her and take care of her, and just be someone for her.

for me, i guess, the perfect man should be:

~ first of all accept me for what and who i am... i know u know what i mean...
~ be loyal... one that would not commit the same mistake again...
~ never mind all the physical aspects coz i found out the hard way that not all angels have wings...
~ but he should smell nice, be clean-looking... but i don't mind the facial hair...
~ he should be smart... can talk to me in a second language... can feel what i feel... can understand and be sensitive to my feelings (typical girl, huh?)
~ he should have a stable job... one that pays well enough to take care of a family.
~ he should like watching movies with me or just going to the mall...
~ he should be patient when i'm looking for something in the mall...
~ he should be God-fearing...
~ should not hurt me physically... never!
~ he should be a book reader... a newspaper reader (so he can tell me na lang what he read coz i dont read newspapers)
~ he should not be ashamed to hold my hand in public...
~ he should be someone who talks to me after we make sweet love...
~ he should be contented with himself... not boastful, but confident enough...
~ he should be someone who loves to eat...
~ he should be someone who likes receiving and giving surprises...
~ is a little poetic...
~ and someone who thinks brushing his teeth is next to Godliness.

in other words, my perfect man is NON-EXISTENT.

hahahahaha.

but it doesn't hurt to dream about a perfect guy, right?