Monday, October 10, 2005

we'll live

let's livei've lost track of time... i am thirty going on thirty one, and what have i done so far? hm... lemme think...

education-wise, i've finished college (A.B. Communication Arts) with limited knowledge. Then i've studied education, and passed the liensure examinations, making me a full-fledged professional. I might use what i've learned next year.

i was neither geeky nor dumb. but i lived.

career-wise, i've been a bank teller, a customer service representative, a marketing assistant, and now i'm an email agent. if i were to write a book, i'd say... i have nothing good at all to write about my past and present jobs.

i've neither grown nor been idle. but i lived.

love-wise, i've met wonderful, and lousy men... and eventually married one guy who has a stable job, and who lived on dreams. i am now married for 10 years to someone who does not give me his monthly salary and lets me live off mine... and lets me feed his kids off mine. i'm married to someone who does not live with me in the same house. i'm married to someone who is cruel, and hits me when he gets jealous. but i'm also married to someone who will eventually change and make me happy, coz i believe in a person's capacity to change. All he needs now is the will to do so. if i were to ask, it was a relationship that is beyond expectations... because a lot of people were expecting that it won't last. I am not promising that i will see this through years and years more. but i sure will try.

it was neither without happiness nor tears. but i lived.

children-wise, i have three, and couldn't have any more. i have smart Anea for a daughter, smarter Arolf for a son, and another smart-guy for a baby--Anton. All of them, i'm sure will go for their dreams and grow up like any other children. All of them, are also a pain in the neck.

they were neither good nor bad. but i lived.

fun-wise, i've had my fair share. i have my friends who see me through week after week of monotonous days. fun for me involves movies and tubs of popcorn, eating out at every new affordable resto in Glorietta, and taking our pictures with our camera fones.

i was neither friendless nor famous. but i lived.

faith-wise, i've never been too keen on that. you see, i do go to church from time to time. i do pray. i do teach my kids the Catholic way. i do believe that there is a God. Whoever he/she is, i really don't want to know. What's important to me is that He/She sees through mine and my loved ones days and sees to it that everything shall fall into place. Because He/She can never come down from the heavens, if that is where He/She really is, to come and save us all. I believe that all He/She can do is watch over us... and if we fall, He/She falls, too. Clutch His/Her heart like a parent, and cry... for His/Her children are there falling, and He/She couldn't do anything about it.... because not all the elements of the world is on His/Her command. He/She cannot stop another person to kill someone, or to rape someone, or to hit someone... because He/She cannot control a person.

my faith is neither true nor false. but i lived.

money-wise, i do not have a bank account. never had one, because i never had excessive cash flow. What i do have, though, is a humongous pile of debts. So, it got me thinking that maybe i just do not know how to handle money.... or maybe it was really impossible to save since I have three children, and the price of everything nowadays are just too high.

i was neither broke nor wealthy. but i lived.

i have made a lot of mistakes to get to where i am now. i've met a lot of people who broke my heart. and who mended it, too. i failed some days, but also shined at some point. i cried buckets of tears, but i also filled a room with laughter many times.

To summarize, life is neither full of uncertainties nor possibilities.

But, you'll live.

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