Friday, March 31, 2006

happy days

the past two days have been busy with Anea and Dale's recognition days.
Thank God they were done on separate days or i'll be in a
dilemma to which recognition i'd have to go. *whew*

Anea received 2 medals, both for being the 3rd outstanding student in Grade 4.
One medal from the school, and the other from the Mayor.

<with her friend, Jude

3rd honor

The first week of March, Tony graduated from Nursery and was 10th in his class.


Today, it was Dale's turn. He was excited about the day.

with his grandma so happy...

Of course, who could be more happy and excited than me?

proud mommi

Dale officially graduated from the Pasay City SPED Center and was the Best in his class.

Dale with his Certificate and Gold Medal

It was a happy day, even if it was raining... all the students received some kind of award.
It was also obvious that a lot graduated from SPED this year, unlike the past.
It was like the rain is blessing each and everyone there.

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With his classmates and teacher:

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He was so happy with his medal that the first thing he said was:

Call Papa.

What? I asked.

You call Papa, Yahoo Messenger mo sya.

We can't, we're outside the house.

O, i-text mo na lang.

Why ba? What will I tell him?

Tell him, I won a gold medal, o!

I couldn't help hugging him for his logic.
It's obvious that he misses his grandfather.

After the event, we all went to Max's to eat.
With all of us very hungry, I forgot to take pictures. *hehe*
The restaurant was full and busy.
A lot of students were celebrating their graduation day.

I was able to take my kid's pictures anyway,
and I'm so happy that all of them have awards this school year.

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Indeed, you cannot have everything.
You may not be happy in some aspects of your life.
You may not have enough money, or a big house.
But God gives you what you deserve.
Something worth more than everything you've wished for.

Thank you for all the support and prayers.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I Would Have Loved You Anyway

If I'd've known the way that this would end
If I'd've read the last page first
If I'd've had the strength to walk away
If I'd've known how this would hurt

I would've loved you anyway
I'd do it all the same
Not a second I would change
Not a touch that I would trade
Had I known my heart would break
I'd've loved you anyway

It's bittersweet to look back now
At memories withered on the vine
Just to hold you close to me
For a moment in time

And, even if I'd seen it coming
You'd still've seen me running
Straight into your arms


My dad sent me Trisha Yearwood's greatest hits via Pando. I love it. I know i'm not the country music type, but when i listened to the songs, the lyrics were nice... real-life love stories, i think.


Kuya Dedel

Dale was unusually quiet today. I had to talk to him everytime so i'd make sure he's okay. I was preparing dinner, and I saw him just staring out the sky... he stayed like that for more than 5 minutes... I asked him why he was quiet, he said, WALA LANG. AFTER I'M QUIET, I TALK.

oh well, okay, i thought.

then we ate dinner. When he was about to go down to start playing the computer again, he came running back to the dining room, and lay down the chairs... I asked him why, he said CLOSE THE DOOR. I did, and I noticed he looked scared. When he finished eating and went to brush his teeth, he asked the lights to be turned on. He also asked me to stay with him beside the sink while he brush.

When all of us finished dinner, we found him curled on the sofa. I asked him why again. he said, there's something inside the CR.

I carried him to my mother's bedroom, and let him listen to the MP3 player til he fell asleep.

he was so scared i pity him. I told him there was nothing there. But he was still scared. i asked my kids, my mom, and the help if they said something or if he watched something on tv, they said no.


times like these, i wish i have lots of money and need not work so i can take care of him personally everyday.


i'm still waiting for you, my rich genie...

where art thou?

his teacher also told me about his rain instincts... along with Kim, his classmate with autism. I told her I already knew about it.

yesterday, the sky was so dark I was sure it's gonna rain... but Dale wasn't bothered, unlike before... so i asked him if it's gonna rain... he said NO without looking at me, and went down to play. Anea and I waited... after an hour or so, the clouds cleared.... IT DIDN'T RAIN.

it's good that Anea and I didn't bet on it.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Dale, first honor!

i went to Dale's school to talk to his teacher about his progress and
other plans for his improvement.
She told me too many beautiful things that Dale did...
His teacher also told me that Dale will
finish first this school year with a gold medal.
The recognition is on March 31st.

Why finish?
'Coz he can now be transferred to a regular school
as Grade 1 full mainstream this June.

It's as if the problem of the whole world dissolved into nothingness... hahaha!

nothing can top this.

that's why i chose the picture above to go with this post...
it's like Dale telling the whole world that he beat it.

we're off to face new challenges in his life.
and we will face them no matter how difficult and painful they get.

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who showed concern and support...
My parents, family, and relatives.
His brother, Tony..
His sister, Anea..
My friends who were there with me all the time to see me cry and share my joy:
Bes, Mai, Anne, Basti, Bon, Saint, etc.
His teachers--Belle, Lisa, Shirley, Mila
All the other teachers and the principal who took part in changing his life.
The Pasay City SPED Center.

I know this is not the end, but a beginning...
but i would like to thank you people for every step accomplished...
i know another post like this will come in the future...
and my acknowledgment list will be longer than this.

thank you.

Thank God.

Monday, March 20, 2006

nantokwa... hayuf!

nagtitingin (read: naglalaway) lang naman
ako ng mga celfones sa web... at nakita ko ito:

isa lang masasabi ko:


kanina bumalik ako dun sa inaapplyan ko... Ebay test at typing test na lang sana tapos job offer na... naghintay ako ng 3 hours, only to find out na closed na daw yung position that i'm applying for... punyeta di ba? tama ba naman yun?

sabi pa, they closed nung Saturday pa... eh &*()^! ka pala eh... bakit di niyo (2 kami) kami pinabalik ng Saturday at Monday niyo kami pinabalik... di daw niya alam bakit Monday kami pinabalik... baka daw miscomm. nakow... kundi ka lang tomboy, sinabunutan na kita!

nag-offer naman siya na palitan na lang daw yung account and position, eh voice naman yun, ayoko na nga ng voice eh... so, sabi niya, tatawagan na lang daw kami in 2 weeks kasi may magoopen naman daw bagong account both for voice and email. SANA LANG.

meron namang akong ibang options... tinawagan na ako nung isa pang dapat trabaho ko na noon before ako na-sprain... sabi ko lang na titingnan ko nga lang tong bagong inaapplyan ko...

pero nakaset na kasi yung utak ko sa pagiging email agent ulit... at ang plano kong umakyat sa corporate ladder this time around... gusto ko na sana yung company na yun kasi one year pa lang, and very promising ito...

hay, ewan... yan... yan ang nangyayari pag sobra kang excited.


marami na namang nasabi
ayaw akong tantanan ng ingay


DEATH is my only salvation.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

la lang.

nagkasakit si Tony. Yun lang ang rason kung bakit hindi ako sasama sa Galera. Yung ibang reasons, di ko yun iniintindi. Kung hindi nagkasakit si Tony, sasama ako, Saint. Mahirap na kasing mabansagan na namang pabayang ina. Pag anak na, ibang usapan na yun. Tsaka may job something ako sa lunes, kwento later. *hehe*

ang puzzling, hindi nalaman kung anong sakit... normal lahat ng tests.

he wouldn't eat, low-grade naman fever... today, his first real meal was yung dinner (bale 4 days bago siya nakakain ng normal). nung lunch, dalawang subo lang wala na. you can see pa naman sa eyes niya pag may sakit. very expressive.

sinusuka niya yun gamot... eh taena, 900 pesosesoses pa naman isang bote... lintek na mga doctor na yan... magreseta ba naman ng mahal na mapait pang gamot sa bata... mga hungheng!!!!

the new doctor that we went to was okay... and he was the first doctor who noticed his skin was dry pala. now, moisturizing lotion ang laging meron sa bahay. ang soap nila, moisturizing baby bath. parang milagrong di na siya nagkakamot... lotion lang pala ang katapat. gumamit pa ako ng kung ano-anong gamot at oatmeal soap whatever. pakers!

underweight siya ng 4 kilos... syet di ba? sana ako na lang yung underweight... nyahahahaha!

pero, all-in-all, gwapo pa rin anak ko... op kors! tingnan niyo naman....

graduation ni tony from nursery

cutie tonyboy

grumaduate siya from nursery nga pala nung 10th, i forgot to make kwento. kumain kami sa max's after... 10th siya sa klase... yun lang... hehehe... wala eh... mana sa nanay. *wakokoko*

well anyway, yun lang... don't feel sorry for me about the trip... meron pang mga next ta-aym.

good news naman tayo...

nag-apply ako sa isang call center... sabi ko gusto ko ng magturo di ba? kaso lang dumarami na utang ko sobra... kelangan ko ng magbayad... nahihiya na ako eh.... tamang-tama, may opening for an email agent... maganda pa location, lapit lang... kaya nag-walk-in ako kahapon...

grabe, tagal kong naghintay! kakakaba pa...

1. essay test
2. interview with a pinay
3. grammar test
4. interview with a British language trainer

fotek, sobrang naintimidate ako sa Brit... pano, pers taym ko yun... nakalimutan ko lahat ng rules ng grammar, tenses, and all that crap...

honest naman siya... he corrects me from time to time... pero since ok yung essay ko, tsaka impressed siya sa grammar test (isa lang mali ko), tapos email lang gusto ko, pasado na ako sa kanya... pinababalik ako sa lunes for typing test ata yun...

ang hirap niyang intindihin sobra... iba talaga pag iba ang accent... grabe...

super *sigh* nga ako nung tsinekan niya yung box tabi ng PASSED eh... hahaha... buti na lang talaga ginalingan ko sa grammar test... at inayos ko yung essay as in walang erasure at okay naman ang pagkakacompose ko... sinadya ko talagang ayusin ang mga unang steps kasi i thought na baka yun ang magiging batayan... thank God for instincts... hahaha...

sa lahat ng mga job applications ko, dito lang ako sobrang nanghina... sobrang kinabahan... as in... hindi kasi sila gaya nung dati na madali lang... strict sila ever... halos lahat nung andun, binibigyan ng slip of paper, telling them NO. tapos sa tatlong nakapasa for interview with the Brit, ako lang ang nakapasa... yung dalawa, hindi... *sniff*

buti na lang talaga.... hehehe... tinanong ko nga pala kung san ako nagkamali, natawa siya... sabi niya hindi niya raw pwedeng sabihin kasi iisa lang daw ang test paper nila at baka ipagsabi ko.. kaya kung magaapply kayo dun, usap muna tayo.... *wakukukuku*

tsaka buti na lang naging honest nga pala ako nung tinanong niya ako kung gusto ko raw ba mag-voice na lang... sabi ko, i believe kasi that i write better than i speak! kasi nung nagba-blunder na ako dun, sabi niya totoo nga daw atang i write better... *nyahahaha*

hindi ako na-hurt dun sa sinabi niya kasi totoo naman eh... aminado ako dun...

hay.... sana pumasa ako sa typing test... nung sa dati, 52wpm ako eh... sana ngayon din... or kahit hindi basta pasado lang, ok na ako dun...

hay... haba na naman ng post ko... pasensya na, excited lang ako sa prospect of working again... earning money... and all... i really need new glasses kasi and a new fone! pero before that, bayad muna utang... kahiya naman sa mga taong inutangan ko eh... *sigh*

o cya cge... have a happy and safe trip, gelz.... pasalubong ko ah! text niyo ko lagi mga pakers... Ü

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


nagyaya ang Peel Here na mag-Galera. syempre nainggit na naman ako, kasi di na naman ako pwede. *leche*

sa mga di nakakaintindi, eto po ang storya:

i've been a sheltered person... since birth po ito. hindi ako nabarkada. hindi ako nakapag-cutting classes para manood ng sine. hindi ako nakatry magmarijuana o shabu o ecstacy nung dalaga ako. as in walang kalokohang nagawa. maniwala man kayo o sa hindi... isa po akong homeboy. *grin*

nung nagka-boyfriend ako, umikot ang mundo ko sa kanya. napakahigpit niya at ang nangyari, wala rin akong naging barkada. walang gimik. walang lahat. ng hindi siya kasama.

nung nag-asawa na ako, ganun pa rin. nakakasama lang ako sa mga outing with my family. kung hindi sila ang kasama, makakaalis lang ako kung magkagalit kaming mag-asawa. yung mga typical away namin na humahantong sa paghihiwalay ng ilang buwan.

mabibilang sa iisang kamay ang mga beses na umalis ako at nag-outing ng kaibigan ang mga kasama. ang iba pa nito, talaga namang company outing.

lumaki ako at tumanda na hindi na-enjoy ang kabataan. ni hindi natutong mag-bisikleta o lumangoy. *pity*

ngayon, isinusumpa ko, hindi ko ito gagawin sa mga anak ko. sabi ko nga eh, tuturuan ko pa siyang gawin ang mga bagay na bawal. sabay kami. para habang ginagawa niya, malalaman niya ang negatibong epekto nito sa kanya.

yosi? sge, sabay pa tayo... para makita mong nakakaubo, mabaho, nakakahilo, pangit ang lasa.

beer? sge, ibibili kita... para malaman mong nakakasuka, mapait pala.

sex? sge, tuturo ko sayo pano... sge, ibibili kita ng condom... lagay mo lagi sa wallet mo ha? wag kang papayag ng walang condom magiging kapartner mo.

wag niyo sana akong husgahan sa huling sinabi ko... ang akin lang... hindi mo na mapipigilan ang mga kabataan ngayon... ang gusto ko lang, maging handa sila sa lahat ng gagawin nila... hindi ko sila mababantayan sa lahat ng oras... pero matuturuan ko silang pangalagaan ang sarili nila.

pag aksidenteng nabuntis si Anea, hindi ko siya ipapakasal... ano ako, gago? igagaya ko siya sa kin? no way.

gusto ko, magpapakasal lang siya sa taong karapat-dapat... sa tamang rason.

kaya ang solusyon para hindi magkaaksidente? maging handa. using a condom is the way to go.

pagdating niya sa tamang edad, ako mismo ang magtuturo ng lahat ng ito sa kanya.

wag lang drugs, iba na yun.

back to the Galera trip...

naisip ko, bakit ko idedeprive ang sarili kong maexperience ang ganun, kasama ang mga kaibigan (libre pa nila)? malay natin, di na ito muling maulit... once in a lifetime opportunity, ika nga. tsaka, ano ba ako? trenta'y uno na ako sa 27th. di na ako bata. kaya, um-oo ako. natuwa ang lahat. kumpleto ang Peel Here.

pumayag na ang nanay ko... asawa ko naman ang ayaw. ang nakakainis pa niyan, sabi ba naman, kami na lang daw ang umalis at punta kami ng Tagaytay (feeling field trip ito).

teka lang, bakit? dati naman niyayaya kitang magTagaytay ayaw mo ah... bakit all of a sudden? anong klaseng taktika ito? para lang di ako sumama dun?

ang daming paratang... na wag akong magmalinis... mga paninira sa mga kaibigan ko... na pupunta ako sa venue na pwede kaming magkita... NINO???

*feeling ko tuloy ang GANDA ko para pag-agawan ng mga lalake*

kung nalalaman niya lang sana na ang mga kaibigan kong ito ang siyang nagsasabi pa na bigyan siya ng chance... na sila pa ang mga bantay ko tuwing umaalis kami...

tsaka kung manlalalake ako, di ko kelangan umalis ng Manila... hello???

a judgmental person... hindi naman perfect. *GRRR!*

yan... yan... paranoid, kasi ginagawa niya... itutulad niya ngayon ako sa kanya... takot sigurong magantihan... don't worry, tapos na ako sa gantihan. wala naman akong nakuha sa pag-ganti, di ba? alam mo yun.

*teka lang, feeling ko naman nababasa niya to... hehehe.*

hindi pa niya alam na Galera yun ah... at overnight. Di ko na nga nasasabi pa, dahil the thought pa lang na aalis ako, galit na siya... what more???

hindi ko maintindihan... ano'ng masama sa gagawin ko? going to have fun with close friends.

Life is too short... we have to enjoy it while we have it. And i really think i deserve this short trip. I have placed my life on hold for more than 14 years because of him.

This is just fair, di ba?

hay... ewan...

to go or not to go, that is the question.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

the camwhore is back...

laki na ng eyebags ko!!!!

in pigtails...

wala lang.

ang sabi ni Augee dito: Asian, raawwwr....

yan... yan ang ginagawa ng taong bum.


Anne and I went to Mai's house yesterday...
for one, to show support because she's going through a lot these days...
di lang halata sa pictures:

mai's kids... Ize and Kyle.

ano to? commercial ng facial wash?

cutie pie Ize...

batang kulot!

Tita Anne in the haus!

i brought Ize's gift to her already... but she can't use it yet...
NO BATTERIES!!! Ano ba yan? Di marunong magbigay! Hay. *LOL*
while si Baby Kyle naman, antakaw!

ang bunso... TOTOONG bunso! *grin*

naglalakihang mga braso!
mga maiingay... barubal queens...
mga babaeng tanga sa pag-ibig...

ang Peel Here reunited.

it was a nice day indeed...
it's really nice to have loyal, fun-loving, sensitive friends...
hay... i wish sa susunod, ikaw naman Bes makasama ko.

oo nga pala, J gave me a turtleshell necklace
and an anklet/bracelet... i love it.
thanks, J... u'r such a sweetie...

and i cried last night...
too many memories.

but it made me feel better.

thanks for waking me up this morning, You.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Strange & Beautiful (Aqualung)

in response to R-Kee's tag, here is a video of Aqualung's Strange & Beautiful... it will take some time to load, but i believe the song (not exactly the video) is worth the wait. *kisses to r-kee*

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart, I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.


Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never come,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me, yeah...



sana nga.


this song is just so sad.

it's sad, i almost cried.

i almost puked.

i almost asked God why.


but not quite.

oh shit.

i really was hungry when i took this test.

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Envy: 60%

Pride: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Greed: 20%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 46%

You'll die from food poisoning - and then the natives will feast on your fatty limbs.

Sunday, March 05, 2006


napapansin ko lang, merong mahilig mang-hug sa kin. tuwing bubuksan ko ang blog ko, nadadagdagan ng isang hug. =)

kung sino ka man, isang makulay na

you make my day
brighter. o di ba, ang bright?

kasi, nalulungkot ako ngayon. at ang pag-hug mo sa kin, nakakagaan ng pakiramdam. may tao pa rin palang nagmamahal sa kin...
(pasok Lovingly yours, Helen themesong)

good news: medyo gumagaling na paa ko.. nalalakad ko na, pero di pa pwede yung malayo. hanggang kanto para magpa-Autoload ng trenta, pwede. =)

pst! hug naman dyan ulit oh.

sa mga naghahanap ng makabagbag-damdaming mga sinusulat ko gaya dati, pasensya na... writer's block daw ang tawag sa kundisyong meron ako nitong mga nakaraang buwan.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Coffee and Cigarettes


I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched all my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit….. you.

I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit….. you.

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit…. You.

I must quit, I must quit…. You.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

alphabet me

* A - Age you first believed in love? - 30. hehe.
* B - Band listening to right now? - hm. i dunno. my mom is playing something on CD
* C - Dream Car? - a purple beetle
* D - Dad's name? - Delano
* E - Easiest person to make u laugh? - Mai for being so crazy, Scarface for having the gift of turning your blues into pinks, Anne for being insane, Bes just for being there.
* F - Food you miss most? - araw-araw chocolate
* G - Any encounters with ghosts? - siguro. ewan kung totoo o hallucination.
* I - Interesting unknown fact about yourself? - nothing interesting about me
* J - Just tell me who's the last person who broke your heart? - his name is MONEY
* K - Kissing with eyes opened or closed? - closed
* L - Last time did you fight? - with whom?
* M - Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute? - Dale's dance
* N - Nicknames? - achie, reich, rae, ayschel, huy, pango, chinggay, bes...
* O - Open Up! What's your most valued possession? - haha. mga anak ko na lang.
* P - Poison or Liquor of choice? - water (after drinking tequila)
* Q - Quote you heard for the last two minutes. - i'm gay (rustom padilla)
* R - Risk everything for love or not? - risk
* S - Song you sang last? - dahil mahal na mahal kita, roselle nava
* T - Time you woke up? - 7am eksakto
* U - Use love in a sentence - i love you.
* V - Vegetable you hate most? - Ampalaya
* W - What are you most afraid of? - what's in the sea
* X - X-gf/bf? - hm. June is my first ex. second ex is my husband. last ex, siya pa rin.
* Y - Year you were born? - rabbit
* Z - Zodiac sign? - aries