Saturday, July 29, 2006

what exactly happened... and more. hehe.

i wanted to post this under here na lang instead of sa comments--

hello... thanks for the comment... actually, di ko rin alam... hehe... they said i have IgAnephritis and/or RPGN... (whatever!) only 40% of my kidneys are functional now...

i had flu-like symptoms exactly on Father's day (bummer!), and i just took Bioflu... the fever went down, but the body malaise was still there, so I went to the doctor... had urinalysis, and viola! they found out i was actually flushing out protein and blood... so, ultrasound... they said it's Renal Parenchymal Disease... was referred to a nephrologist, and from there, repeat tests, and then the next day, confined na ko... they said that the flu-like symptoms are the attack on my kidneys or something.

i was on strong doses of steroids, and was under biopsy after 2 days... yun nga, they said only 40% of my kidneys are left functional... well, it's better than none at all, di ba? hehe.

the medicines are what's bothering me... kasi i'm on heavy doses of steroids and other stuff... meron pa ngang iniinject... the first few weeks, my medicines cost me about 6T per week... now, since the injectibles are reduced from 3x a week to once a week (yey!)... mga 2T a week na lang gastos namin for my meds...

i'm on a special diet... minsan, sumusuway ako... minsan lang naman... patikim-tikim ng bawal.. hehe..

sobrang dami ng side effects ng steroids kaya ako ganito... konting kibit, bothered ako... i don't like noise, i don't like shouting... so, i always get mad at my kids... lahat napapansin ko...

dati, i can only sleep for 2-3 hours... buti ngayon, mejo umaabot ng 5 hours.. on and off.. my skin looks so terrible... i have hypertension... heartburn... acid... pain all over my body... my face, Jollibee!... my stomach is also getting bigger... pero yung limbs ko, wala! pati nga boobs ko nawala eh... hahaha... i have bruises that wouldn't go away, 3 weeks na to..

i have superwoman moments when i have to do something productive or else i'll go nuts... then, i go into a downside moment when i have to rest... i also have withdrawal symptoms na, when it's time to take the steroids, i'd know kasi mangangatog uncontrollably ang kamay ko.. adik talaga ang dating...

i also like to eat and eat... patay! ngayon nga i'm craving for pansit... kaninang early morning, i had to go out to the market pa to buy cheap puto... tsaka ang kulit ko kadalasan... as in ibang-iba from my attitude before... ADIK ever.

what i don't like are my pity moments... lagi akong meron nun... pero medyo nababawasan na... kasi syempre, i was used to working and getting paid.. i really do not have a job since January when i stopped working for a 'prestigious' call center in Makati.. it pays ok, but it's monotonous, and being there for more than 2 years as an agent is stupid.

For me ha... wag sanang magalit ang ibang taga-call center... there's nothing wrong with being an agent for more than a year, pero it's not a trend you should get into.. the key to having a good call center experience is moving up... and i haven't moved up, coz well, maybe, i'm the one who is stupid. di kasi ako nagaapply... hehehe... ayoko lang magbad-mouth ng dating company... hirap na...

ewan ko ba.. kasi parang ang 'malas' ng taon na ito for me... after resignation, naaksidente naman ako and had to be in a cast for almost a month... so, no work there pa rin... dapat meron na, as online teacher.. kaso nga...

tapos pagkagaling ko, apply ulit ako... dami ng offers... magte-trainer pa nga sana ako sa isang newly-opened call center training school.. eh kaso since new sila, i have to wait for them to have clients... ngayon naman na may clients na sila and they called me up, di pa naman ako pwede, feeling ko kasi di ko pa kaya as of now... baka next month na lang... well, sana... as soon as i get through with my checkups...

so, ngayon, andito ako sa bahay... asa ever pa rin sa mommy ko... pity moments ko yun... awa sa sarili kasi feeling invalid.. all i do here is take care of my kids, household chores na alam ko naman na nakakatulong din, pero parang para sa kin, not enough. tapos, nakikita ko pa ang mom ko na worried and doing things that she shouldn't be doing.. na dapat ako na lang..

i'm looking forward to next school year where i can possibly be well na and get a teaching job... sayang din kasi lisensya ko... di ko pa nagagamit, eh... di naman ako makakalusot sa mga companies ngayon coz i'm sick... currently, i'm looking into opening lang a small store dito sa garage namin... benta ng kung ano-anong pantawid gutom man lang, pambili ko ng gamot ko...

anyway, i'm getting a new attitude... haha... ayoko kasi ng nagiging ugali ko nowadays na parang dahil na lang dito, ang dami kong nakikitang mali... puro ako negative... feeling ko, nagagamit ko siyang excuse... sobra na ko ah... di na tama...

there's more to life than this...

as of now, i'm just breathing... wishing everything to go away quickly... wishing to be well...

pero the nearest joy i'm looking forward to is meeting my two friends sa Makati later in the day... yahoo! at last, makakagimik ako ng konti...

so there... yun lang naman talaga nangyari eh... sabi ng doctor, worst case scenario daw, transplant... pag di nagwork, tigok... hehe... ngayon, we're trying medications kasi nga pwede pa naman daw... there's nothing left to do with the rest of the kidneys but save it...

ang gulo lang kasi parang di sya sure sa mga gusto niyang ipagawa sa kin, that's why i wanted to get na lang a second opinion... gusto niya kasi akong ipa-confine again every other month daw... para di laging oral steroids.. ewan ko dun... hehehe... kunin ko muna records ko, tapos tsaga na lang ako sa PGH... wala na kasi akong insurance eh... naubos ang limit ko sa lintek na biopsy na yan... lumagpas ng 100T...

o, pano... tigil na natin to... haba na eh... basta ang gist ng storya... may sakit ako sa ngayon... sama niyo na lang ako sa dasal niyo, para GAGALING!!! (malachoir na sigaw ah)

p.s.
Mai, pde, isipan mo ko ng magandang topic.. puro na lang ranting tong andito eh... syet. gusto kong ibalik ang dati kong sigla sa pagsusulat ng may sense or mejo nakaka-antig or mejo korny or mejo bastos. **wakokoko**

btw, sa mga nakakapansin... mahilig talaga akong magkukukuha ng pictures... minsan sinuswerte... yang pictures sa profile ko, isa sa napaswerte, camfone lang gamit ko kan, Motorola c650... ngayon, mahilig pa rin, kaso lang, di na maganda nalabas na resulta... nawawalan kasi ng drive magpopopose... nyahahaha... pag galing ko, kodak moments ulit... hehe...

3 comments:

  1. My cousin has nephritis, and he's taking steroids 'til now. I fond of calling him Pikachu because he's face looks bloated and more or less, he reminds me of the anime. hehe. but he still looks good naman.

    nwei, don't lose hope. i've dealed with people who had ESRD (end stage renal disease), di na tlga mgfunction ang kidneys nila, and the only way that they are able to survive is hemodialysis. ok lang naman sila, actually, funny nga eh... kwento-kwento kami habang nagduduty ako sa Renal ICU, while undergoing ung dialysis nila. Ung mga lalaki, palabiro... "kasi nurse, ang sarap kumain pag may binabawal. pagkatapos nito, kakain ako ng marami. hahaha."

    see? they're doing fine amidst the disease. un nga lang, butas minsan ung pocket mo.

    cheer up! :)

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  2. haha... thanks, kendi.. that really gave me comfort... haha... kakatawa, kasi ganan din mga banat ko tungkol sa pagkain... pano naman, super eater talaga ako nun no... di naman ako fat, pero malakas akong kumain... kaya, hirap talaga ako ngayon...

    pero, thanks talaga... nice to have a nurse ka-blog. =)

    you cheered me up, big time.

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  3. awww... bilib nga ko sayo reich eh. you still make it a point to see the bright sides, and I think you're doing good naman. ang hirap ng lagay mo... but blogging your experience somehow inspires others din na mahirap ang kalagayan. aliw nga ko, kahit may mga rants ka dito, nababawian mo ng mga nakikita mong maganda. neutralized ba ^_^. kesa kung puro pangit makita mo, masmapapadali buhay mo.

    basta, continue to inspire others lang. and continue to find the light of hope, even if it's just a flicker.

    God bless you always and get well soon! mwah!

    ReplyDelete