Saturday, August 05, 2006

hala.

i composed a blog post last night but forgot to save it, and now, i dunno if i wanna post it pa.. hm... let's just start and see..

we decided to get a second opinion from a respected and known doctor that my cousin referred to us at the Manila Doctors Hospital. He is also a consultant in PGH.. the main reason we went there is of monetary value. Since I already ran out of medical insurance and my doctor wanted me confined every other month for medication, we have to do it in a government hospital.

when i saw the doctor, i knew i'm gonna like him, and like him, i did.

He's no fuss. Patay kung patay. To cut the long story short (because it was tooooo long, with graphs and all...)

Bottom line is, based on the lab tests only, he can buy me 3 to 5 more years without dialysis... but based on the biopsy, he can only buy me 3 months time without dialysis... and why would he make me suffer from taking steroids when he knows that? Steroids have too much side effects, he said.

But he was shocked at this biopsy report, coz according to it, the pathologist saw 13 'cells'... 10 are dead... 3 are dying... the question is, how come i'm still alive?

do you get the picture?

10 out of 13 cells...

and i'm still kickin and screamin....

nyahahaha.

So, he wants me to 'borrow' my slides from my former doctor and have it rechecked somewhere else. The pathologist have a reputation for being wrong. Even my cousin heard of this pathologist. My former doctor, he says, knows this, but since his hands are tied to the hospital... the pathologist is the only pathologist they have?!

My doctor was correct in giving me the medicines... his procedure would be the procedure that this new doctor will give according to him. The only difference they have is that my former doctor didn't have the heart to tell me pointblank that my condition is dreadful, that it may cause my eventual death. Unlike this new one, who even told me, you cannot get pregnant, because you're dead. You'll die ahead of your baby.

Stick to fish and rice, meat will kill you faster.

You don't have to feel guilty... it wasn't what you did or ate... it's like this... your kidneys have an alter ego.. sorta like Jekkyl and Hyde... Now, Mr. Hyde has come out to play.

See how fun the check-up was?

I was glad mom wasn't inside to hear everything or she might have collapsed right there and then. Some people like it subtle... i like it HOT. hehehe...

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When we went home, tears were welling in her eyes... she made me sit on the LRT... she held me tightly...

She said she wants to cry, and i told her, then do so... isa lang naman masasabi ko dyan eh.. may magagawa ba iyak natin? Gagaan lang ng konti ang pakiramdam, tapos nun, andyan pa rin problema natin...

Sabi ko, buhay pa ko, pinaglalamayan niyo na ko... di ba mas ok yung dialysis, kesa comatose?

Napaiyak siya sa katulong namin, nasigawan niya kasi... sabi daw, naaawa na raw kasi siya sa kin... and who wouldn't be, if you see me before and now? Now, i can barely walk... my legs are so skinny! The only part of me big now is my face and stomach.

i cried, too, that night... thinking of my children when i die... pano, ang daming mga kwento na bigla na lang nagcollapse at sumuka ng dugo, patay!

ngak... sino na lang kasama nila? sino na lang magaalaga sa kanila? di ko makikita mga apo ko... di ko makikita silang grumaduate... yung mga ganun ba...

but then i stopped na rin... kasi wala naman akong magagawa eh...

sabi ko na lang sa kanila, wag nating problemahin yung sakit... yung kung pano na lang natin gagamutin yung sakit... mahal niyo naman ako di ba? dasal at pera lang katapat nito, kaya natin to... so, dapat magtrabaho kayong maigi... sige, mga alipin!!! magtrabaho kayo!!!

hehehe...

ako ngayon ay parang seƱorita sa bahay... ako ang reyna... hala, dalhan niyo kong pagkain sa kwarto... joke!

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nagluto kami ni Ronald kagabi kasi nga labinlimang taon na kaming naglolokohan... August 4, 1991 nung sinagot ko siya... hehehe... wala naman mashado eh... sopas lang para sa bata... buto-buto ginisa sa oyster sauce para sa matatanda... steamed fish para sa kin... dito kumain sila Erick...

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Kanina, surprise! Dumating Kuya Rodel ko, asawa niya, at ang makulit kong pamangkin na si Bea... hay nako! Taong-tao na siya... maldita... ang likot... hehehe.... kala ko tatlong taon na eh magdadalawa lang pala ito... dito lang sila naglunch at sandali lang sila kasi baka umulan eh nagcommute lang ang mga ito from their house sa San Mateo. Layo, di ba?

Napa-online tuloy kami sa Papa ko... nagkwentuhan lang naman kami... kaso lang biset tong YM laging sira, ayaw mag-call kaya mega type na naman ako...

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So, wala lang... yun na lang muna... ang mga dasal ko ah... keep it coming... hehehe...

Sa mga nagta-tag at nagko-comment, maraming maraming salamat... nabubuhayan ako sa inyo... nyahaha... ok pa ko... pag bigla akong di nakapagpost ng mga isa o dalawang linggo, yun na yun. Pagkalat niyo na lang na naging mabuti akong tao kahit di niyo ko ganong kilala... **wakokoko**

Wag mag-alala, wala akong balak manakot, mandalaw, manghila ng paa o kadena, umalulong, o mag-pakita sa salamin. Di ko type. Duwag din kasi ako sa ganun. hehe.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gulay... what the heck, what the f**K... ano to...sorry sorry sorry... i never thought it was this serious... my cellular phone kasi is kinda weird cant scroll down to read the full message.. so i thought all along na la lang you were still looking for a 2nd opinion and the whole thing is not that serious... geez i want to see you dude... ok ok... am not being much of help here kinda in a panic mode and thinking out loud... uh hmmm... that is writing without thinking is more apt...who is your doctor? all of my parents doctors are from PGH and they are all good.. very good actually, consultants and all, my dad have the following... endocrinologist, cardiologist, opthalmologist, neurologist, therapy doctor, renal specialist.. etc etc etc dad ko lang yan iba pa sa mommy ko.. darn it... and they are all from PGH.. UP grads... had US experience, further studies... so ok diyan mura pa and mabait ang mga doctors...take care...and how come ngayon lang ata nakita itong blog na ito..this is not the same as the one i have where my blog is linked to yours... geez what am i saying... take care ha... am going pa kasi to Guagua, Pampanga this weekend for my 10 days straight duty... ingat.. did i already say take care? ingat ulit..
    -joel

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