Wednesday, August 29, 2007

what i forgot to blog about...

di ako religious, pero mahilig ako sa libro... hence, this:

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it's not an ordinary bible, coz it says right there on the cover... "YOUTH BIBLE" bought it just last week with Anea (she bought another detective Conan manga). Haven't read it yet, since we had a lot of assignments for Spanish class.

it really doesn't mean I can't read it, does it? I am youthful-looking, am i not? *grin*

anyway, it's cool, coz it's got these road signs that's got nice pictures and depictions of what the chapter was about... por ejemplo:

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and this:

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and this:

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cool, eh?

and what i like about it is that it was written in a way that I could understand, unlike the traditional bible. Clearly, it's for the young, and the mentally-challenged like me. hehe.

plus, it was on 5% sale at Powerbooks. Hey, a sale is a sale, even if they only took off a little over 10 pesos or something.

Sayang, coz i didn't know Powerbooks is on sale since the 1st of August. wah!!! I could've walked down those isles looking like a lost girl who found her solace. as if i had the moolah to buy the numerous books that my hands were itching to get. *libre magbasa sa powerbooks*

~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>

anyway, i forgot to blog about this last month. after we went to a healing mass (with Fr. Suarez), I ate at Amici (Don Bosco) coz I told Mom I haven't tried it yet. I had this:

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and this:

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Holy sheets! Ang sarap! The pasta, and the gelatto... grabe. kahit di ako mahilig sa pasta, napakain ako ng marami dito.. may nauwi pa ko kasi ang dami ng serving nila. Babalikang muli...

~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>

Four days before that, we went to Church at Greenbelt Chapel, and got myself this:

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Tony, accidentally stepped on my foot. I didn't know that it was bleeding until I felt the sticky blood. Argh!!!

~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>

And on July 30th, I woke up seeing this on the ceiling:

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and this:

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what a pretty sight... the closest i've been to a 'rainbow'. i looked for the source of the play of lights and concluded that it came from this:

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a small glass, diamond-shaped paper weight Ronald gave to Tony, that was on top of the piano.

~>~>~>~>~>
~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>

I lost between 5 to 10 pounds the two weeks that I was sick. To prove it:

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see? no double chin. haha!Well, i gained the weight back, as fast as I lost them, anyways... *sigh*

~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>

July 31st, I borrowed HP Book 7 from Roland, a good friend of mine from Accenture, and we had lunch together at Robinson's. (thanks, Bonostro!)

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~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>

August 17, Dale and Aileen were playing, and Dale became a cocoon:

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cute, noh? *hehe*

Bueno, those were some of the things, and pictures I forgot to blog about... remembered them coz i uploaded them to the pc from my LG fone. Oh happy days...

Sunday, August 26, 2007

i'm not over you yet...

you are not helping.

not when you call me and tell me this:

"pwede na ba sayo ang cake, ano gusto mo, bibili kita?"

"baket?"

"wala lang, bukas na kasi Red Ribbon dito."

and then i tell you no, and then i ask you which of your kids would you want to talk to. and then you fall silent. so silent i want to put down the phone and cry.

sabi nga ni Cyndi Lauper:

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
I'm not over you yet
And I don't think I care
And I don't want to be your friend

If you don't want me, then at least help me forget.

Friday, August 24, 2007

3rd and 4th.






¡Perdon! No tengo tiempo. Tengo cansancio. Teneis un monton de deberes. Tengo vertigos. *huhuhuhu* Deme un carton de Marlboro, por favor.


Leche.


translation:


Pasensya. Wala akong oras. Ako'y pagod. Sandamakmak ang assignment. Nahihilo na ko. *iyak* Pengeng isang kahong Marlboro, pakiusap.

Gatas.



*note to self: asa ka pa.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

2nd Day.

2nd day with Lola was much harder than the first. Suffice it to say, nosebleeding turned into internal hemorrhage. *whew*

Since she was talking really fast, i had to whisper "puedes repetir, por favor?" about a trillion times, but because of my stupid pride, I didn't want Lola and the rest of the class to hear them.

After the class, it seemed like a lot of us were like, "duh?! what was that she said?" Hay... it wasn't just me. What a relief!

Well, don't get me wrong, it was still fun. We still had lots to laugh about. We still learned a lot. It was really great to learn the language coz it ain't that hard to begin with, since a lot of our Tagalog words are the same as the Spanish ones.

To answer some questions, yes, we learned those in one day, and more, really. What I initially wrote were just some of the things we've learned the first day. Today, we learned about the 1st to 3rd narrative forms of verbs. Holy guacamoli! That one I really have to read over and over. It ain't that easy.

Anyway, the "UP Look" can only mean your jeans and shirt, your walking shoes, and your leatherettes as accessories. Plus, your hair tied up, in a way that you look you've had an all-nighter, but clean. Just the usual college drop-out student.

No skirts, no heels, no leather shoes, no frilly blouses, no shimmery bags, and no make-up.

It screams "I may not have big boobs, but my wide forehead reveals i have a good bank of great ideas."

It really was effective, coz another girl came up to me today and asked me how old i was, and when i said 32, she quickly said "no way!"

Well, well, well... *nyehehehe*

Before the class ended, we all went to the Biblioteca (library) to get our cards and to look around. Imagine how I looked as I entered the library... *eyes wide, hands itching, body aching* Holy shish kabobs! Books...! Books...! Books...! And DVDs! I never wanted to leave. But my classmates were all leaving. Not even bothering to get their cards. What the?! Am I the only one who still reads and craves for the smell of old paper? Am I the only one who wants to learn the Spanish culture, their literary greats, and their places and things and whatchamacallthose? *sigh*

I borrowed a book, and left all the same. There's still tomorrow anyway. I wouldn't want them to think I'm some kind of robotic nerd.

Anyway, for someone who wants to learn some, here are a few things:

¡Hola! Buenas tardes. Hi! Good afternoon.
Como te llamas?
Me llamo Rachelle Santos. I am Rachelle Santos.
De donde eres? Donde vives?
Soy filipina de Manila pero vivo en Pasay. I'm a Filipina from Manila but I live in Pasay.
Cual es tu direccion?
Vivo en la calle Tramo, numero 23. I live in 23 Tramo Street.
Cual es tu numero de telefono?
Mi numero de telefono es 9996007. My fone number is...
Cual es el numero de tu movil?
Mi numero de movil es 09103104204. My celfone number is...
Cual es tu correo electronico?
Mi correo electronico es atsee27@yahoo.com. My email address is...
Cuantos años tienes?
Tengo 32 años. I am 32 years old.
Cuando es tu cumpleaños? Tu zodiaco?
Mi cumpleaños es el 27 de marzo de 1975. My birthday is on...
Mi signo del zodiaco es Aries. My zodiac sign is...
Que haces?
No trabajo pero soy estudiante de español en Instituto Cervantes, curso 1, para hablar con los españoles y porque mi abuelo es español. I don't have a job, but I'm a student of Spanish in I.C. level 1, so I can speak spanish and because my grandfather is Spanish.
Estas casada o soltera?
Estoy casada pero separada. Tengo una hija, dos hijos. I am married, but separated. I have a daughter and 2 sons.
Tienes hermanos?
Tengo dos hermanos. I have 2 brothers.
Que lenguas hablas?
Hablo tagalog, ingles, y un poquito español. I speak tagalog, english, and a little spanish.

Anyway, for the call center agents, they are called agente en un centro de llamadas. *fowtek*

Some useful questions:

Como se dice ___ en español? How do you say _______ in spanish?
Puedes repetir, por favor? Can you repeat that, please?
Mas alto... raise your voice.
Mas despacio... slow down.
Esta bien asi? Is this correct?
Como se escribe? How do you spell?
Como se pronuncia? How do you pronounce?

adios. goodbye.
hasta luego. see you later.
hasta pronto. see you soon.
hasta mañana. see you tomorrow.
hasta el lunes. see you on monday.
martes
miercoles
jueves
viernes
sabado
domingo

and the numbers, and the months of the year, of course, which i guess y'all know already, 'cept they have different spellings.

Sorry if there are errors, omissions, or something. There really are a lot more, but it seems they are lost somewhere in my brain, in deep slumber for the meantime.

Anyway, see if you can practice them yourself. It helps to talk to yourself sometimes, like this:

note to self: practice later after eating. and do not forget your jacket tomorrow since the room can get friggin cold, esp when Lola starts asking questions.

p.s.
check this out.



Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Spanish Lessons With Lola

Yes, I have gone through my first ever Spanish lessons at Instituto Cervantes today, from 1pm - 4pm. The first thought that came to my mind before I went there was, "what should i wear?".

I have had the habit of dressing for the occasion nowadays, and by that meaning dressing-like-a-student-since-i'm-32-and-i'm-still-dreaming-i'm-younger-than-that occasion. So, tubetops and skinny jeans are scratched off the list, eventhough i'll be caught in that ensemble only if I was with her and it was a night out. Coz, if you see her, you'll understand my plight. You wouldn't want to be caught dead wearing your grubs when you're with her. That's for sure.

**i have no problem with women wearing women-like clothes, I just feel that dressing up for school like that makes you look older than your age. or whatever.

Anyway, so, the outfit today just cried "i'm fresh out of U.P. and I don't care." You get the drift.

True enough, when all the introductions were over, the girl next to me asked, "U.P. ka?"

"Uh, I was." with a matching dumbfounded look was my answer. Obviously, I didn't stay in U.P. long enough.

Fastforwarding to introducing yourselves (in Spanish, no less), I had this to say:

Me llamo Rachelle Santos. Soy filipina de Manila pero vivo en Pasay. No trabajo pero soy profesora de ingles. Mi cumpleaños es el 27 de marzo. Tengo 32 años. Estoy casada pero separada. Tengo una hija, dos hijos. Hablo Tagalog, ingles, un poquito español.

O, ha?!

*nosebleed*

Girls next to me were like, "32 ka na?!"

"Ows, di nga? 3 kids? Kala ko fresh grad ka."

Tanggal ang pagod ko sa pag-iisip kung ano'ng dapat kong suotin. Hay... what can I say? I have access to the fountain of youth. *nyehehehehe*

Well... all-in-all the lesson was, how do you say it? Hm... Muy bien! Lola, our profesora, was a very pretty and kind lady. I was about to cry when she talked, coz she started the class speaking in Spanish, but then the funny thing was, I can understand her! What the?!

She barely spoke in English, but I cannot complain. I have had the time of my life, squeezed in 3 hours of nosebleeding and laughing. Even my stupidity came in as a joke, and I'm laughing with all of them. This is how studying should be. Really. If all classes are like this one, nobody will fail in Calculus.

So, kudos to Lola. Applause to everyone in the class, eventhough I can't remember all their names, given we're only what? 12? 15?

Oh well... I am definitely looking forward to tomorrow.

Til then...

¡Hasta mañana!

p.s.
if the nosebleeding doesn't stop, I think I have to memorize the Rosary prayer in Spanish below.

p.p.s.
nosebleed - (n) other than the layman's term for epistaxis, is the result of doing things that are beyond the capacity of your brain. *hehe*


Spanish


Sign of the Cross

En el nombre del Padre, y del Hijo, y del Espíritu Santo.

Apostles Creed

Creo en Dios, Padre todopoderoso, creador del Cielo y de la Tierra. Creo en Jesucristo su único Hijo, Nuestro Señor, que fue concebido por obra y gracia del Espíritu Santo; nació de Santa María Virgen; padeció bajo el poder de Poncio Pilato; fue crucificado, muerto y sepultado; descendió a los infiernos; al tercer día resucitó de entre los muertos; subió a los cielos y está a la diestra de Dios Padre; desde allí ha de venir a juzgar a los vivos y a los muertos. Creo en el Espíritu Santo, en la Santa Iglesia Católica, la comumión de los Santos en el perdon de los pecados la resurrección de los muertos y la vida eterna.

Our Father

Padre nuestro, que estás en el cielo. Santificado sea tu nombre. Venga tu reino. Hágase tu voluntad en la tierra como en el cielo. Danos hoy nuestro pan de cada día. Perdona nuestras ofensas, como también nosotros perdonamos a los que nos ofenden. No nos dejes caer en tentación y líbranos del mal.

Hail Mary

Dios te salve, María. Llena eres de gracia: El Señor es contigo. Bendita tú eres entre todas las mujeres. Y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre: Jesús. Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte.

Glory Be

Gloria al Padre, al Hijo y al Espíritu Santo. Como era en el principio, ahora y siempre, por los siglos de los siglos.

Oh My Jesus

Oh mi Jesús, perdónanos nuestros pecados, líbranos del fuego del infierno, lleva todas las almas al cielo, especialmente las mas necesitadas de tu misericordia

Hail Holy Queen

Dios te salve, Reina y Madre de misericordia, vida, dulzura y esperanza nuestra, Dios te salve. A ti clamamos los desterrados hijos de Eva. A ti suspiramos gimiendo y llorando en este valle de lágrimas. Ea, pues, Señora, abogada nuestra: vuelve a nosotros esos tus ojos misericordiosos. Y después de este destierro, muéstranos a Jesús, fruto bendito de tu vientre. Oh clemente, oh piadosa, oh dulce Virgen María. Ruega por nosotros, Santa Madre de Dios, para que seamos dignos de las promesas de Cristo.

Final Prayer

Oh Dios de quién Único Hijo nos ha otorgado los beneficios de la vida eterna, concédenos la gracia que te pedimos mientras meditamos los Misterios del Mas Santo Rosario de la Bienaventurada Virgen María, debemos imitar lo que contienen y obtener lo que prometen, a través del mismo Cristo Nuestro Señor


Joyful

Sorrowful

Glorious

La Anuncion

La Visitación

El Nacimiento

La Presentación en el Templo

El Reencuentro en el Templo

La Agoniza en el Huerto

La Flagelación

La Coronación de Espinas.

Jesus lleva la Cruz

La Crucifixión

La Resurrección

La Ascensión

La Venida del Espíritu Santo

La Asunción de la Virgen María

La Coronacion de la Virgen María


Friday, August 17, 2007

the making of a serial killer





yung internet connection po namin eh napuputol kapag ginagamit yung extension. so, pag ang mga bata ay naglalaro ng games sa internet, magagalit sila pag may nagamit ng fone. thus, the threatening note. It's not written by Anea, but Tony. I was wondering what he was writing. he only asked me of one word, or rather name, to spell... Erick.

He slipped the note under the door. Clever.

ang galing di ba po? ang bait bait ng batang to... nakakasira ng bait.

(sasaksakin yun dapat)

click on the picture for a larger view

I second emotion.

A friend of mine forwarded this to me, and I couldn't help but cry laughing. Galing talaga ng Pinoy. =)

We've been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me.

He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?"

Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, "Connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch?"

"The!?!!??". .. ang sarcastic na sagot nya.

Aba! The verb! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we should go ouch na rin.

Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. As is!!! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.

cannonball



there’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
there’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt

it’s still a little hard to say what's going on


there’s still a little bit of your ghost your weakness
there’s still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed

you step a little closer each day

that I can´t say what´s going on

stones taught me to fly
love, it taught me to lie
life, it taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball

there’s still a little bit of your song in my ear
there’s still a little bit of your words i long to hear
you step a little closer to me
so close
that I can´t see what´s going on


stones taught me to fly
love, it taught me to lie
life, it taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannon..

stones taught me to fly
and love taught me to cry
so come on courage
teach me to be shy
cause it's not hard to fall
and i don't wanna scare her
it's not hard to fall
and i don't wanna lose
it's not hard to grow
when you know that you just don't know


Damien Rice - Cann...


the claw


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

4 Things

4 Jobs I've Had In My Life

1. FEBTC, CSA
2. Sto. Domingo Parish, Marketing
3. PeopleSupport, eRep
4. mother, daughter, friend...

4 Movies I Could Watch Over And Over

1. the replacements
2. harry potter series
3. LOTR
4. what dreams may come

4 Places I've Lived

1. pasay
2. pasay
3. pasay
4. pasay

4 TV Shows I Love To Watch

1. ellen
2. tyra banks
3. america's next top model
4. saturday night live

4 Websites I Visit Daily

1. friendster
2. Yahoo mail & OMG
3. Multiply/Blogger
4. Google

4 Of My Favorite Foods

1. sinigang
2. fried fish and tofu
3. salad
4. chicken noodles ng Chowking

4 Places I'd Rather Be Right Now

1. Batangas
2. France
3. Rome
4. US

¡Hola!

Monday, August 13, 2007

*sniff*

Noong akwatro, dapat 16 years na kami ni Daduds. Sayang, noh? Pero, wala eh. This time, siguro kasalanan ko. Ewan ko. Basta wala namang malawakang away eh. Konting tampuhan. Eh nasabi kong ayoko na. Ayun! Dinibdib. Sa tingin ko eh matagal ng nagtsatsaga. Nung nasabi ko yun, nakahinga ng maluwag... sabi niya siguro, "finally! a way out!". naghihintay na ako magsabi, para di siya ang masisi this time. Hay...

Nagsisisi ba ko? Ewan. Siguro. Pare, tagal din ng 16 years. Kahit napakaraming away. Mga masasakit na nangyari. Mahal ko naman siya.

Kaya nagdadaan pa rin ang mga gabi na nakakatulog akong nahikbi. Wala kasi akong katabi sa pagtulog. Kahit ba malakas siyang humilik. Kahit ba utot siya ng utot sa umaga pag gising niya. Namimiss ko pa rin siya.

And sometimes, he's not helping! Kasi nagtetext pa rin, tumatawag, nakikita ko pa rin siya. Pano kaya ako makakamove-on? Isa lang kelangan ko para makalimutan ko siya eh... new love. Pero, pano? Parang ang simple. Parang meron pa.

Here's to living alone for the rest of my life, then.




Profyle
I won't cry

You came and got your things today
I parked your car, I watched you drive away
I cried so many tears that day
It burned my face, it felt like acid rain

I know I can't keep lying to myself
I said to be content with someone else
I know I never had to face the pain, baby baby

I won't cry no more, I won't drown in my tears
I wont die no more, I got over my fears
and i'm moving on, girl I know what to do
coz i'm better off without you
and we both know that it's true.

it's gonna take a little time, to stick in my mind
the fact you're gone for good
coz when you said you're leavin' me, I heard it before
I never really thought you would

baby I should be glad that you're gone away
I know the pain would not be here to stay
if I could only fool myself, maybe baby.

that I won't cry, i'm movin' on

I know it's hard enough to fall in and out of love
but when something is gone, keep holding on
will only break yo're heart

so why won't play the fool, by begging you to stay
I wanna keep it inside, til you're out of sight
maybe that way

i'm better off without you
and we both know that it's true

and we both know that it's true...

Sunday, August 12, 2007

tamad.

nagising ako ng 1:30am at di na nakatulog... at tuwing ganun ang nangyayari, wala akong ibang maisip gawin kundi mag-online. kesa naman hintaying ko lang lumiwanag ng wala man lang makabuluhang nangyari.

sabagay, wala naman din ata. binago ko lang naman ang template ng blog na to kasi nilalangaw na. tsaka since i'm in a black mood again, itim na ang background. dito mo malalaman kung ang current feeling ko eh masaya o hindi. well, ngayon, hindi. everything is gray, bleak, unsure. ergo, black background. ok naman kasi maayos siya sa lahat ng browsers. gamit ko kasi SeaMonkey, pagtingin ko sa IE, ok pa rin. yes!

isang linggo na akong may sakit. nahawa sa mga anak ko na naospital pa dahil sa kumakalat na infection ngayon. at may sore eyes na rin ako, galing din sa anak ko, na nakuha naman daw niya sa school kasi kalat din ito ngayon doon.

weniwei, wala lang. naisip ko lang i-post yun. wala din kasi ako sa mood magsulat ng matino. ganda ba ng tugtog? hehe. lamig ng boses, parang may sipon noh?

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Working Mom Magazine July 2007 feature

Around the end of March this year, I was approached by Working Mom editor Joy Rojas, asking me if they could feature me in their magazine. I knew this would happen, as Ms. Marissa Lopez said they would give my article to the publication.

I thought they would just have my article printed of some sort, but it was an interview by very talented and kind Janet Villa. A photo shoot came next by Alfred Mendoza.

The interview went well. I felt like I have known Janet for a long time. In most cases, I can be a very good judge of character and I am not mistaken with Janet. Alfred, of course, was very patient. I am a self-confessed camwhore. BUT, I do the taking. However, that time, it was a different person, and I really had a very difficult time focusing. My lips were quiverring all the time, and I just couldn't relax. Plus the fact that I thought that I would really look bad in those pictures coz I was so fat and so sick-looking. Hehe.

Anyway, a lot happened after the interview. My supposed to be happy marriage ended about a week after it. It wasn't a sad ending. There weren't nasty fights or something. I am not even sure if this is the end of it all. I am still hoping for an unbroken family. Maybe not now.

I just wanna say thanks to Janet for being subtle and not including everything I have said. God bless you and your family as well.




Tuesday, August 07, 2007

when i feel that all there is left is pain...

i sometimes feel that the world is conspiring on me. almost every aspect of my life, there's something wrong. i will not say that i was never happy. maybe the thought that helped me throughout life was the thought that i don't count heartaches or happiness as a whole. what really matters to me is that there were moments that i was happy, moments that i was lonely.

it's been four days since i felt so sad... and again, today... i just realized that it was time to move on... that there is no hope for that particular aspect in my life, and i have to accept it already.

i know of people who are also hurting. those who are in so much pain that they wanted to inflict pain to themselves as well. i will not frown upon those people, i will not stand as a righteous bitch. mainly because i was once one of them.

i thought if i am to end my life by my own hand... if i were to die by my own terms... what would it do to my family? what would it do my children? they might even think that it's ok to do it when the time comes that they have problems of their own.... i also thought, what's the purpose of having a God to talk to?

with these thoughts, i made a solemn promise...



i will not inflict physical pain upon me, or my family...



all i need to do is PRAY...



when i feel that all there is left is PAIN...