Monday, August 13, 2007

*sniff*

Noong akwatro, dapat 16 years na kami ni Daduds. Sayang, noh? Pero, wala eh. This time, siguro kasalanan ko. Ewan ko. Basta wala namang malawakang away eh. Konting tampuhan. Eh nasabi kong ayoko na. Ayun! Dinibdib. Sa tingin ko eh matagal ng nagtsatsaga. Nung nasabi ko yun, nakahinga ng maluwag... sabi niya siguro, "finally! a way out!". naghihintay na ako magsabi, para di siya ang masisi this time. Hay...

Nagsisisi ba ko? Ewan. Siguro. Pare, tagal din ng 16 years. Kahit napakaraming away. Mga masasakit na nangyari. Mahal ko naman siya.

Kaya nagdadaan pa rin ang mga gabi na nakakatulog akong nahikbi. Wala kasi akong katabi sa pagtulog. Kahit ba malakas siyang humilik. Kahit ba utot siya ng utot sa umaga pag gising niya. Namimiss ko pa rin siya.

And sometimes, he's not helping! Kasi nagtetext pa rin, tumatawag, nakikita ko pa rin siya. Pano kaya ako makakamove-on? Isa lang kelangan ko para makalimutan ko siya eh... new love. Pero, pano? Parang ang simple. Parang meron pa.

Here's to living alone for the rest of my life, then.




Profyle
I won't cry

You came and got your things today
I parked your car, I watched you drive away
I cried so many tears that day
It burned my face, it felt like acid rain

I know I can't keep lying to myself
I said to be content with someone else
I know I never had to face the pain, baby baby

I won't cry no more, I won't drown in my tears
I wont die no more, I got over my fears
and i'm moving on, girl I know what to do
coz i'm better off without you
and we both know that it's true.

it's gonna take a little time, to stick in my mind
the fact you're gone for good
coz when you said you're leavin' me, I heard it before
I never really thought you would

baby I should be glad that you're gone away
I know the pain would not be here to stay
if I could only fool myself, maybe baby.

that I won't cry, i'm movin' on

I know it's hard enough to fall in and out of love
but when something is gone, keep holding on
will only break yo're heart

so why won't play the fool, by begging you to stay
I wanna keep it inside, til you're out of sight
maybe that way

i'm better off without you
and we both know that it's true

and we both know that it's true...

2 comments:

  1. anu ba yan. dahil sa'yo narealize ko na sisiw pa lang pala ang mga problema ko sa lovelife. anyway, i think there's no reason to give up. there could always be that someone who's REALLY meant for you. oh well, who am I to give you advice anyway? i am but an inexperienced and immature teenager! but i still feel for you girl. and i do wish you sort everything out soon.

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  2. I don't have a blogger account that is why i am anonymous. And i am also not into blogging, i read though, especially if i can relate to the topic. I don't know how many women out there are suffering because of their husbands' infidelity and selfishness? I was one of them.
    16 years is long. I was married for 12 years. On the 8th year things started to fall apart. I fought for the marriage, i did my best to bring back the good times. However if you are the only one fighting for it, you will never win. He was like in another planet then, he was so blinded to see me fighting for our family. He was there alright, but he wasn't with me on our battle. There were times that he would leave us for a month or two and would come back asking for forgiveness, and i would give him that forgiveness. And then he'll be gone again, come back again, 'til it became a cycle for 4 long years. Until 1 day i woke up with so much strength and i courageously told myself i have to put an end to this. I love him but i love myself and my kids more. He came back with the usual "sorry i was wrong, i wont do it again" dialogue, but NO, i had enough, my kids had enough, you had your chances and you didn't give importance to it. We were separated for a year but he would constantly call me, text me "sweet nothings", send me flowers, and all other stuff that would surely will win your heart again. we became civil with each other, 'til one day he demanded for a marital consummation and i said no. he got mad telling me we are still married. but i was firm and told him we are separated and he doesn't have the right to demand any marital consummation with me! i just don't understand, he left me and he have the guts to ask me to DO it with him? women, don't allow men to use us. Its either they will take us completely or totally leave us alone! after that incident i filed an annulment. i spent everything i have saved, but i don't care.no amount of money can bring back my freedom and myself again. He didn't contest to it, but told me i should have think about it 100 times before bringing it to court.
    I am happy now. I did the right decision. Now i dont have to worry if he will ever come home, where is he at, who is with him, and i now have peace of mind.
    I dont want to sound like a feminist or something, but men will always be men they want to have the best of both world if they can. But no woman will ever want to share her man with any other woman.

    To the owner of this blog, sorry i have to vent on your site. I don't have my own blog but i want to share my experience. You too can move on, with or without a new love you can make it. Good luck to you.

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