Wednesday, October 31, 2007

no estoy asustado


my mom and i saw one of our neighbors today. her son just got out of the hospital. he was also sick. he has almost the same disease as i do. almost at the same time. he is also 32. he underwent dialysis already.

his mom's eyes got so wide when she saw me, and this is what she said to me:

"hindi ka pa dinadialysis? ok ka pa?"

i smile and nod.

his son wasn't as lucky as me. he was placed an access on his neck. on the other hand, i am already prepared for it. i have a fistula on my right arm. as soon as my doctor told me, i went in for surgery last year.

it was obvious that they were unprepared for what have happened. but, it was lucky that they have sufficient means for a transplant since they own a bakery in our street. so, they are now preparing for that.

yes, i have thought of transplantation. but, i am hoping that if that time comes, all of us are prepared as well.

i am still praying that i will get well... that a bigger miracle will be bestowed... i can't complain, since being dialysis-free for one more year is a big miracle already.

still, i cannot say that i am a hundred percent okay. i get scared sometimes. in fact, i am now. of a lot of things.

but, if there's one thing that i am not afraid of, it is being alone.

the picture above? not gonna be me.

for one, i'm afraid of the sea. and two, nobody in my family will let me wade out there alone.

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