Sunday, November 04, 2007

ditto



sometimes, there are people you meet that makes you feel complete. But, there are moments when you feel like you have to leave him be. for his sake. and for yours, as well. More often than not, you don't need to tell him why.


I have known him for a few years, but I felt the need to part ways. And this time, he knows why.

It has been a few months now since we last talked. and i know, he respected my decision. and i thank him for that.

October came and then the La Naval. I kept on thinking, someone's having a birthday that day, but I couldn't point out who. Then I got to check my email, and there it was. A notification for his birthday.

I sent him an email to greet him a belated one. After a few days, he replied with this:

"thanks so much. miss na kita!"

i felt a tug. how sad. missing someone. but at least he didn't say "miss na kita...", coz it would've made me cry. You know how punctuations alter the meaning of sentences.

I answered back.

"ditto."

Days after, I kinda forgot about it already. But alas, he sent me a forwarded text message yesterday at 3 in the morning. The weird thing was, I already deleted his number from my fone. I was sure of it. I checked it again after, and it isn't there. But his name popped up. I guess my SIM still has it.

"Sometimes, we just have to let go of someone who matters to us not because we want to, but because we have to, because it's the right thing to do... Let us remember that we can't force anyone to love us.. We can't beg someone to stay when he/she wants to leave and be with someone else... This is what love is all about... However, the end of love is not the end of life... It should be the beginning of understanding that love leaves for a reason, but leaves with a lesson."

I texted him back. I greeted him a Happy Halloween and wishes God to bless him.

He replied during the night with one word.

"ditto."

that's when i cried. not when he said he misses me, not when he sent the mushy text, but when he texted with finality....

a word that would not need a reply.


a word that feels like a goodbye.

That time I decided to leave him, I thought, I was robbed of a beautiful friendship. I was robbed by circumstances beyond my control. But the truth is, I am sure that our friendship will remain, even without the words.

And if he gets to read this, I'm sure there's just one word he'll say.

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