Friday, November 28, 2008

11/28

today, my CT just administered a quiz about tenses, predicting outcomes, and spelling. i just checked the papers. it was a little frustrating! they got low scores.... as in may 1/10. naman. na para bang nakakaawa talaga while i was encircling all the wrong answers. lalo na sa spelling... a lot of the kids can't spell talaga.... hay.

there was this one kid that i liked... mukha siyang OK... yun pala, hindi... may tutor pa siya nun ah.... sometimes, you get to think kung effective ba ang way ng teaching namin ng CT ko... baka hindi talaga nila naggrasp yung concept... pero kasi merong mga nakakaperfect or pumapasa talaga lagi... so i guess, nasa level of intelligence na lang talaga.... tsaka nga kasi nakikinig sila talaga eh... the rest are so makulit... talkative... laging may ginagawa... galaw ng galaw...

nway, yung activity after na pinagawa ko was just have them color nga some coloring pages, then construct a sentence using them.... frustrating din coz they were not able to construct sentences well.

i really cannot wait to handle a class on my own from the beginning... para talagang alam ko na ako yung kelangang gumawa lahat ng necessary things for them to learn talaga.... hay... maybe nasa phase pa lang kasi ako na parang gusto mong gawin ang lahat. probably my CT, since 4 years na ata siyang nagtuturo, alam na niya kung hanggang san lang din yung kaya niyang gawin for these kids. ako kasi since new pa lang, feeling kaya ko ang lahat... but i'm sure when the time comes, hindi ko rin magagawa. but i'm also sure that i will try my best for each and every one of the kids i will be handling will learn kahit pano.

kanina din nga pala, i really felt a little odd na parang masama talaga pakiramdam ko, lalo na dun sa time nung isang section. i think highblood na ako nun. kaya the rest of the time, i ignored the noise. hindi ako masyadong nanaway. i can't just go off getting sick, so kelangang ibahin ko na strategy ko sa pananaway... haha.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Practicum Journal #2

It was a difficult week. Now I have more respect for teachers, and I admire them for their dedication and patience.

The school celebrated English Week for 2 days. The first day was for the grade school students, and the 2nd was for the high school. My CT was one of the coordinators of the said event, and I was left with handling her advisory class.

The first day, we had to watch the contests in the gym. It was hot and humid. All the students were there for the opening ceremony. I made sure that the class was disciplined, quiet, etc. It was really hard to control these kids. I have one student who is clearly one that needs special attention. He keeps on moving, and cannot control himself. He even hurts other kids. Although he always smiles and he has god qualities as well. He really likes it when I ask him to do things for me, like bringing books to the other section.

There is one other who is sooooo devious and sumbungero. I really don't like this kid, i'm sorry to say. As soon as I enter the classroom, he would tell me that one of the kids did this to him, etc. But I caught him taking that classmate's stuff, like he was retaliating, with that devious look on his face.

I kept on thinking... these little boys... they're so mean sometimes, that you can't help but think how their parents treat them. Before I was being so hard on myself coz my kids are really makulit in the house. Iniisip ko, ganun ba ko kasamang parent na eto ba natututunan nila sa kin.... But then I learned that they are all behaved in school. They respect their teachers, they do good, and hindi pa naman sila napapapunta sa guidance (except for Dale, but hindi siya yung gumagawa ng bullying). And that made me even more proud of my kids. At least kapag nasa labas na sila ng bahay, maganda naman pala sila umasal. And I think that's more important.

But these kids I'm handling.... grabe! Lahat ata ng sections may mga kids na napapapunta sa guidance office... and I don't mean once! and not only one kid din! Kanina, in one section, I noticed I was missing 6 of them. Yun pala, they're in the guidance office for counseling coz they were caught fighting with each other. Grabe. Gang fight na ito. And that's only Grade One kids!

Isa lang din ang conclusion ko dito... hindi porket private school, walang ganung nangyayari. So, ang mga parents na hindi kaya ang private schools, they don't need to feel bad. It's just the same. Iba lang sa kanila, probably yung facilities and the building talaga. And what I also found out, some of the teachers there are not even LET passers. Buti pa sa public, lisensyado mga teachers. So, saan ka pa? Di ba mas comfortable ka as a parent knowing that your kids are being taught by licensed teachers?

Dapat talaga yun ang tutukan ng government. Yung Education ng mga kabataan. They should provide the necessary equipment, manpower, etc.

Well, anyway...

The second day of the celebration, my CT was not available, so I handled all the classes and taught alone. It felt good. There were no major problems. The lesson was about Predicting Outcomes. Like making an intelligent guess on what will happen next.

Yesterday, though, was my first time to teach with my CT watching. The lesson was about Simple Present Tense. And it was a disaster, coz the video that I used, mahina yung sound. During my third class, the kids were all noisy that I had to stop showing it to them. Dapat pala even if i stopped it, I should have made them see it pa rin after the discussion.

Meron din akong nasabi about the topic na mali, napaghalo ko yung rule sa Simple Past Tense. I noticed my mistake during the next class na.

Today, was okay though. I think. Haha. I didn't use any electronic device na lang. I just used pictures and words lang as my motivation and review. May isang mali, coz di ko nagawa sa isang section din, pero since mahaba yung lesson ko, I didn't have time to really do everything. The kids needed to copy pa kasi.

Tomorrow, it's just writing activity, so I didn't need to make any visuals to use, thank God. I just need to bring some coloring pages for the kids to color. We're going to decorate the classroom, too, for Christmas.

I just need to finalize my lesson plan for next week today. 2 Lessons lang ako, coz review lang yung 3rd. Monday and Tuesday kasi we don't have classes. Tuesday is Pasay Day. Yes! I'd have time now to relax a little. A little lang coz during those days, I also have to write my lesson plans for the next week, and do my visuals din. Haha.

Pero syempre, I will watch Twilight muna with Anea. I wasn't able to watch the first day, I cancelled my reservation, coz of the many things I needed to do nga.

Hay......................... My CT asked kanina, hindi pa daw ba ako napapagod. Hindi pa naman, talaga. Totoo yun. Physically, yes. Pero yung pagod na ang ibig sabihin is umaayaw na... hindi... PA. Coz honestly, I like teaching. I like doing the lesson plan (well, not really pala, coz it takes up so much time, but is needed din, so no complains), i like doing the visuals. I super like thinking and coming up with ideas that will make the children participate. My visual kanina was a hit. The kids all wanted to participate talaga. If only I could call them all.

Kahit nakakapagod siya physically, rewarding naman, seeing all their faces. Hearing them call your name. Sagana din ako sa food minsan, coz they give me their baon na hindi nila gusto or di nila nakain. Some of these kids kasi, they bring too much baon. Isa daw yun sa sign na the kids like you, when they give you food. But of course, when my CT is there with me, the kids give the food to my CT. Some still give me, though. Imagine 3 sections yun. Magbigay lang 3 kids dun, eh di 9 na yung food mo. Kanina, I got 3 zest-os, 1 chuckie, and an assortment of biscuits. The day that my CT was not around. I got so much food, that I had to place them all in one plastic.

When I got home, Tony said, "Mom, I hope you don't mind... I saw food in your bag so I took some." ah..... english-spokening dollars, no?! haha. gulat ko din eh.

Yun nga... si Tony ang nakikinabang kadalasan. Haha. Pero before I accept their food, I always ask them first, kumain ka na ba, or do you have extra baon, and the kids will show their extra baon naman to me, and they'll say, "coz Ms. I don't like that one so yours na lang." And I can't not accept them coz if you reject them, they'll feel bad. I already asked the counselor about it, and that's what he said. Just to accept them and thank them.

Now, I'm thinking, ano kaya aapplyan ko next year... Naisip ko na high school na lang since I don't need a lot of visuals for that level, pero naiisip ko din na gusto ko nga yung ganun. Tapos andun pa yung mas rewarding na magturo sa mga bata, coz you know na foundations talaga yung tinuturo mo, and if you teach them well... dala nila yun til they grow older. So, now, nagdedebate yung utak ko at yung puso ko, kung san ako lulugar. Naisip ko na lang, kung san merong position. Haha! Beggars can't be chosers.

Hay... that's it for now... haba na eh... hehe. Lesson planning time at 11PM! Wah! Pasaway talaga ako.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

mga unang araw sa pagiging guro.

dahil wala akong pinagkakaabalahan ngayon sa buhay ko, nag-enroll ako ng practicum sa PNU. Ito na lang din naman ang kulang ko para makuha ko ang certificate ko (Certificate in Teaching). Nakapag-LET na ako noon pang 2004 at pinalad namang pumasa, pero dahil nagkasakit ako, hindi ko naumpisahang magturo.

In-assign ako ng Prof ko sa school ng mga anak ko, kaya medyo ayos na din kasi sabay na kaming lahat pumapasok, di na ko gumagastos ng extra sa pamasahe. Hindi na rin ako kinakabahan na baka kung may anong nangyayari sa mga anak ko dun.

Grade 1 English ako. 3 sections. 6x akong magtuturo kasi 1 hour and 40 minutes ang English time, kaya hinati sa dalawang sessions. 4 sa umaga, 2 sa hapon. 6:50-4:00 ang time, pero ang pagtuturo ay hanggang 2:10 lang. Merong mga 10 minute at 1 hour free time, meron ding lunch break.

Hindi pa ako opisyal na nagtuturo kasi 1 linggo ang observation time, pero naga-assist na ko sa classroom, like checking ng papers at sa discipline. Ginawa ko din ang bulletin board dahil English Week next week. Concept, materials, pagod ang binigay ko sa paggawa ng bulletin board na yun. Bukas, matatapos ko na. Konti na lang ang idadagdag ko, na manggagaling naman sa mga bata (gagawa sila ng sulat).

Kahit na maingay at sobrang likot ng mga students, hindi naman ako masyadong napapagod dahil dun, kasi malalambing naman sila. Merong mga students na sobrang pilya/o. Akala ko noon pag babae, hindi mahirap alagaan. Pero ngayon, pantay-pantay na sila sa paningin ko. Walang pinipiling gender ang kakulitan.

Grade 1 pa lang, nagpapasahan na rin ng notes na may I LOVE YOU pa. Nagliligawan na at ang nakakagulat pa dun, babae pa ang lumalapit sa guys. Syempre, lahat yun, puro lang naman biro.

Maraming mga bata ang medyo may problema, like hindi pa marunong mismo sa alphabet, tamad magsulat, mga halatang may learning disabilities, etc. Meron pa ngang isa na laging nili-lick ang kanyang mga daliri in a different and covert manner, obviously, may compulsions ang bata na sana ay dapat naiintervene. Hindi naman yun nakakalagpas sa mga teachers at sa guidance. Pero pag sinabi naman ito sa mga magulang, marami din sa mga ito ang hindi naman nakikinig at in-denial kahit obvious na. Kawawa ang bata, hindi nakukuha ang tamang intervention sa isang regular school. Hindi naman kaya ng isang teacher na bantayan ang anak nila all the time dahil malaki ang class size sa mga regular schools, unlike sa special school na 10 students in a class lang.

Kahit ilang araw pa lang ako dun, may mga kilala na akong students at natatawag ko na mga pangalan nila dahil sila yung mga kailangang pansinin. Yung mga hindi nagsusulat, maiingay, at tayo ng tayo.

Madami din naman akong natutunan sa aking cooperating teacher (CT) dahil sa pagoobserve ko. Yung style niya ng pagtuturo, pano imotivate ang mga bata, at ang pagdidisiplina.

Natuto din akong gumawa ng CPG (Curriculum Pacing Guide) o lesson plan. Aside from discipline and dealing with the parents, eto na ang susunod na mahirap para sa mga teachers. Ang mag-isip kung ano ang gagawin mo sa loob ng klase araw-araw. Hindi naman bigla ka na lang papasok sa isang classroom na hindi ka handa. Dapat may steps ka na susundin. Hindi pwedeng lecture agad. At sa mga bata, hindi pwedeng walang visual aids at mga pakulo.

Multiple Intelligences, dapat nakaintegrate sa lessons. At dahil Catholic ang school, pati ang pagiging Katoliko, dapat incorporated. At ang English subject, dapat din iniintegrate ang iba pang subjects. Tulad ng pagtuturo kunwari ng sentence construction, dapat gagamit ka ng sentence examples na gaya ng "A number that is multiplied to zero is always zero." na incorporated ang Math.

Ang pinakamabigat na problema sa pagiging teacher--ang mga magulang. May magulang na over-reacting. Konting magsumbong ang anak, hindi muna iga-gather ang facts, bigla na lang magagalit at susugod. At nangyari yun sa CT ko. Buti na lang nandun ako, meron siyang witness na wala namang ganun na nangyayari. Ang sumbong ng bata, sinipa daw siya nung CT ko. Hahahaha. Sobrang bait ng CT, at hindi halos humahawak sa mga bata. Ang batang babaeng ito, sa observation ko, ay isang child with special needs, mukhang ADHD. Hindi ko alam kung naintervene na siya. Kanina tinanong ko siya kung tapos na siyang magsulat, oo daw. Nung tingnan ko, wala pa siyang nasusulat. Dun pa lang, malalaman mo na agad na kaya nitong magsinungaling.

Hindi na pwede ngayon ang disiplinang gaya ng dati. Ngayon, dapat mag-ingat ka sa sasabihin mo sa bata dahil nakakarating sa mga magulang. Kung sabihan mo siya kunwari na "Masama ang magsinungaling. Tawag dun, liar. Liar ka ba?" sasagot yun ng "hindi po." tapos ieexplain mo na sa kanya ang topic ng pagsisinungaling, at ang samang idudulot nito, etc. Ang makakarating lang sa nanay nun, "si Ms, sabi niya liar ako." At ang nanay, susugod na lang at magagalit. Tinuturuan mo na nga ang makulit niyang anak ng discipline, siya pa ang magagalit sa yo.

Hay... Taas ang kamay kung sino ang gusto pa ring maging teacher!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

buti pa sa paaralan...

...pag makulit ang mga bata at di mo na kaya, pwede mong ipadala sa guidance office.



bakit sa bahay, walang guidance office????




bakettttt??!!!!!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

mag-aral ay di biro.

after finishing A.B. Communication Arts, getting a few units of M.A. in Special Ed, taking up 18 units of Education, and passing the Licensure Examination for Teachers, I am now ready to... kill myself.

yes, I enrolled to a 6-unit OJT this sem to finish my Certificate in Teaching Program at the PNU. I am about to experience classroom teaching in a public secondary lab school. teaching (or trying to) high school boys and girls. after 6 months of resting from a kidney transplant. 3 months, Mon-Fri, 7am - 4pm.

i'd be dead in a week. *LOL*




though, if i finish this without crashing, i'd go onwards to getting a job as a teacher by June. I can teach already, I already have my license as a high school English teacher, however, I want to have some kind of experience first before I humiliate myself.

yeah, yeah... not if i kill myself first.

but i really want to finish this. If I get my certificate and a couple years of experience, if ever the future tells us to live somewhere else, I'd be ready.




high school!

i'm screwed.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Biset na fabric conditioner....!

i let Anea change her brothers' bedsheet while Tony was in the room. After that, they took a bath. He started sneezing right after... got teary-eyed... scratched his neck... and coughed. Yep, that fast.

uh-oh. i noticed right away that something is wrong. They've done that chore naman before and nothing went wrong. when i also changed my blanket, i noticed the (actually not nice) smell, saka ko naisip kung ano yung dahilan. Manang used fabric conditioner on it pala. di ko siya nasabihan na bawal. She used it on the sheets AND the towels.

Hay.... Tony is sick again.

I had to ask Mom to take Dale up with her to sleep tonight. Kagagaling lang ng sakit ni Dale and I don't want him to get sick din.

I had to replenish his allergy meds right away para di na lumala. Can't not give him some coz i think it's not gonna go away if I don't. We all know when he's coming down with something coz of his eyes. It gets puffy and red, and so sad.

sigh... sana bukas wala na... vacation pa naman.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Update

Dale developed a fever yesterday, highest was 39. The doctor said it might be because of the leg, or it might be because of something else, since he's been sneezing, too. He was prescribed an antibiotic (na pagkamahal-mahal!).

His leg is doing better, btw.

so, i went to the guidance office yesterday, but before that I already called them to set an appointment. the one who answered asked me what it was about, and I said it was kinda serious, that I wanted to see THE guidance counselor, and that Dale was in the hospital (i didn't say doctor's clinic) because of a classmate.

before I got there, of course, the buzz was already going on. the adviser was so nervous that she already talked to the other teachers, coz apparently, NOBODY knows what's been going on. All the teachers suspected Karl, though, coz he's been bullying daw Dale lagi. (It's Clyde who was doing the karate chops on him.)

when you go to school to pick up Dale, you'll notice that almost everyone calls his name. and Dale doesn't respond to it. i knew why when I talked to him. He said, it's irritating!

of course, it does! who wouldn't be irritated? kahit tayong mga "normal" people, maiirita.

so, I told them to talk to the whole class, and other classes as well, to stop it. Dale is special enough for him to realize it, as well.

My children are well-known sa school nila, because of Dale and my daughter, Anea, who's always at the top of her class. My bunso, Tony, gets attention, too, because of them. And since they all speak in English (Anea and Tony can speak Tagalog), they really can stand out among native-speakers. Lalo na kapag naguusap na silang magkakapatid. They can't help it, coz Dale wouldn't understand them if they don't, so it just comes naturally. And this is one point that the teachers and counselors gave me as a reason why Dale gets a lot of attention.

Well, that's swell! Pano na lang yun, eh ganun na talaga si Dale since he learned how to talk? *sigh*

when I told them about the fighting and tripping incident, they assured me that it will be dealt with accordingly. they all flipped when they learned that the tripping was done by two grade one girl students. syempre nga naman, ano namang connection nila kay Dale.

No, I did not freak out or tell them off like a non-educated mother. As a "teacher" as well, I understand the difficulty of the situation. I know that the teachers are doing their best naman. Considering the fact that it is a regular school and that they are not really educated in handling special children.

I also requested that the mothers of those children be notified about it, and they said that's the protocol naman. They will notify me of the developments within the week.

Hay. Wish ko lang di na maulit. *hehe*

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Dale's little accident, and his classmate's soon-to-be big accident. (joke!)

Dale is special.

He talks a little faster than most kids.
He is afraid of the dark.
He is scared of the rain.
He hates trees.
He stares at nothing when boredom strikes.
He hums.

He tells me that his brain works differently.

Dale is special.

And I won't have him any other way.

I just wish that other people accepts him the way I do.






Dale woke up yesterday, and couldn't stand up straight. Couldn't walk properly. I saw his left knee was a little bigger than the other one. When I asked him, he said he didn't know what happened.

Tonight, it's still the same. My Mom will take him to the doctor tomorrow to have it checked.

I asked him again what happened to it. He then said:

"Can we talk in private?"

Jaw-dropped, I carried him to the other room so we can talk "in private."

He said that everyday, his classmate, a certain Clyde fights him (karate) during the assembly.

What he said made my blood boil. I asked him what exactly did this Clyde do to him. He became confused and irritated and said he doesn't remember exactly what happens everyday, but since Clyde attacks him, he has to block it.

I asked him if it hurts, the way Clyde attacks him, he said yes. He also mentioned two other boys who bullies him, and two girls from another section, who tripped him twice during recess, and almost made him drop his food.

Yes, Clyde is just a kid, but it doesn't stop me from being angry. Today, it might just be a sprained knee, but what about tomorrow then? Will I wait for him to have his neck broken?

I am freaking angry. Not just with him, or with their teacher, or with everybody at school. I am angry at everything. At Dale's situation. At the unfairness of it all.

When will it all stop?

I'm going to school tomorrow, and I wish that I can control my temper. But, by God, I will all make them sorry they ever messed with my son.

I do teach my children to fight for themselves. Not "fight" fight. But to stand up. Be taken seriously. "No" means no. But obviously, Dale cannot do it yet. So, I have to do it for him.

He told me not to get angry tomorrow. He is afraid that it will cause the bullies to bully him even more.

As I was helping him walk to the room, I told him:

"Get just one hair from those idiots, and i'll make them pa-barang."

He laughed. I said, "what's so funny? I mean it."

"Oh, Mom. You're so funny."

As if he knew what barang meant. Haha.

No, of course, I didn't mean it. I don't know anyone who knows how to kasi. *laughing maniacally*

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

hay salamat...

I had an allergy attack two weeks ago after eating at the SM foodcourt, and then the next day after eating tulingan... yeah, yeah... i didn't know that I wasn't supposed to eat protein daw 48 hours after an allergy attack... Nway, that was the worst feeling ever... like my heart was going to explode! And yung nakakatakot was, my new kidney was twitching the whole time. Super takot ko talaga.

Nway, I now have a new bestfriend, and her name is Claritin. =)


after that gruesome two-day allergy, my creatinine levels went up. I became so worried coz the doctor said I will have to be confined again to pump me with steroids, as if I haven't had enough of those! And of course, that will mean gastos na naman. Still, money that we don't have to spare. Monthly medicines ko na lang, hirap na eh. And sobrang mahal magpa-aral talaga ngayon huh?! Grabe, my kids are always bringing letters and solicitations and projects to buy. Almost everyday na lang... So, sana yung mga babies pa lang ang mga anak or yung mga wala pang anak, mag-ipon na kayo ngayon pa lang. Haha.

Hay! Hirap ng naka-steroids noh... I can't sleep right, I can't eat right (i now eat a lot because of it, but i'm learning to control it na.), and mabigat talaga siya sa katawan! Daming nasakit minsan, mga pricks and such... Minsan masakit sa likod. And madali akong mapagod sometimes, sometimes para akong naka-shabu at walang kapaguran. Wala pa dun yung fact na nakakapangit siya! Haha. Can't wait for it to be taken off my list.

Anyway, the doctor's secretary texted me today with the results. My creatinine levels are back to normal. Thank God!

I think one of the reasons it went back agad was that we went to Greenbelt for the healing mass and the lady told me that Tony asked na gumaling na daw sana ang mommy niya may sakit sa kidney. Ain't he sweet?

Last night he had a nightmare and when I comforted him, he hugged me a lot and kissed me over and over. It is so unlike him, coz you would literally have to pay him just to get a hug and a kiss. Haha! He wouldn't tell me what the nightmare was about, though. Even when his tears subsided.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Nosebleeding sa Crepes 'n Cream (MOA)

We went to MOA for a much-needed pasyal with the kids. Before we went home, we went to Crepes n Cream and bought crepes.

Anton went in first. There were two tables inside, and more outside. The people inside were, of course, talking and was a little noisy. That is... until Tony started talking.

Tony: What do they have here, Mom?

Ako: (nge...) Hm... they have crepes, of course.

Tony: What are crepes?

Ako: well... they're sort of... food that's stuffed inside these pancake-like cones. They're delicious, want one?

Tony: yeah, sure! What can I have?

Ako: There are all kinds of flavors, you can make your own. There! (pointing)

Tony: Oh, alright. I'll have... blueberries... and then brownie bits... and then choco chips... wait! no! i'll have cream, instead of choco chips!

Ako: why don't you have ice cream instead?

Tony: but, i don't want ice cream!

Ako: Okay. Ask your brother if he wants one.

(lumabas si Tony at tinawag si Dale)

Tony: (obviously talking to Dale before they went in)...see? they have all kinds of stuff! there's brownie bits, see?! there are bananas, and blueberries... i ordered blueberries! there's ice cream, and choco chips... see?! c'mon, pick one!

Dale: hm... okay... i'll have bananas, then chocolate ice cream... and choco chips!

Tony: wait! you'll have ice cream, then i'll have ice cream! Make mine ube!

Ako: Okay. Let's order. Miss... (relayed their orders)

Counter Girl: syrup po? chocolate or strawberry?

Tony: strawberry!

Dale: chocolate! wait... anton... what will you have, again?

Tony: i'll have blueberries... brownie bits... ube ice cream... and strawberry syrup!

Dale: what?! that's gross!

Tony: No, it's not! You just don't have breeding!

(aso na pinaguusapan ngayon)

Dale: oh well, mine is better.

Tony: no! mine is!

Dale: okay. (feeling resigned)

after paying, i went out to join Anea, and they stayed inside. i went back in again when i saw them talking to all 3 counter girls and those girls were laughing.

Dale: so, that's how you do it? that's just like doing this (circling his hands) and then putting everything in? ew...

Tony: Okay, why is his bigger than mine?

and so on... and so forth... to which the Counter Girls just said "yes."

my kids were so maingay, that i didn't notice the people inside were all quiet now. When i turned around to look at them, they were all looking at my kids, seemingly enjoying the show. That's when I realized that maybe people are thinking something negative... or positive... i don't really know what other people think... and if it was just me, i wouldn't care... but with my kids, I just want them to be like other kids, especially when we're outside. ayoko silang ma-label ng kahit ano.

when we went out, the kids started eating their crepes, and i said...

Ako: kayo talaga, when we're outside, you just speak in Tagalog na lang, ha?

Tony: Ha? Bakit?

Ako: Wala lang... para mapractice natin si Kuya Dale. Okay, Kuya Dale?

Dale: What? Again?

Ako: Sabi ko, pag nasa labas tayo, mag-Tagalog ka para ma-practice ka.

Dale: What? Again?

Ako: I said, when we're outside, you try speaking in Tagalog.

Dale: Eh! Hin...dih...ah..koh...nin...tihn...dih...han! I can't speak in Tagalog, you know that! It's hard! I never want to speak in Tagalog! It makes my head hurt! (etc... etc...)

Ako: Okay, okay... just try, even a little?

Dale: Okay.

My kids are natural English-speakers. It all started with Dale, and his schooling. Tony had to get that habit, coz if he didn't he wouldn't be able to communicate with his brother.

Now, Tony speaks better than Dale. He gets expressions from the tele. What's bad is they also get those bad expressions, like "darn it!" and I actually heard Tony say "what the hell?!" Dale said "damn!" once or twice, and of course, got reprimanded.

When I got Dale's report card, his teacher's comments were all good... and that it is "bawal," as she puts it, for Dale to speak in English during Filipino, Sibika, and Character Education... and it is really difficult for him. Last year, he got line of 7s, both in Filipino and Sibika. But this year, he got 89 and 88. I was so ecstatic! and she said Dale started a trend in class... coz he likes to say OH.MY.GOD. in a certain way. and he says it when he sees how long the notes he's going to write are. So when he starts saying OH. MY.... his classmates will all say GOD. and they will all laugh.

Anyway, I am proud of my kids... but, I also want them to learn our native language. Tony is not a problem. Si Dale na lang ang kailangan ng practice.

Just today, he was on the phone talking to his cousin, Noel. He was beginning to fret, and was saying, "I can't understand you, Noel!" Grrr..... and then he will stomp his foot, and then said "Hin. di. ki. ta. nin.tin.di.han!"

and then he resigned and gave me the phone, asking me to translate everything Noel said.

I didn't find it funny or did I ever feel that it is great for Dale not to understand Tagalog. i actually pity him. I wish that he could at least understand Tagalog, and then reply in English, if he really cannot pronounce words that well.

It's been almost 10 years. We really should be doing something about it. It really is our fault. Since it is easier for us to get our message across, we tend to speak in English as well. Hay. Mahirap pala.

At least there's one word I have changed him into using.

Ako: Dale? Are you done with your assignment?

Dale: OPO. (from his previous YEAH)



Tuesday, September 30, 2008

darn.

as I suspected, my creatinine went up.

maybe because of the allergy incident. and maybe... rejection.

i don't want to think of the latter.

tests will be repeated on Monday. If it doesn't go down, they'll pump me with IV steroids. Hopefully, that won't be necessary. But if it is, i hope that everything will be okay after that.

Prayers are very much appreciated.

Monday, September 29, 2008

i really think everyone should have Claritin in their kikay kits.

damn.

we ate at Sisig Hooray yesterday afternoon. I ordered the bangus one, coz I have to lay off meat. I also ate a cassava.

After eating, we went to the grocery. As soon as we entered, I felt woozy... and then I had this terrible headache, and I thought that my blood pressure went up or something... my doctor was warning me about this, coz my meds can cause high blood pressure as one of its adverse effects, that's why she wants me to go on a diet and get back to the old 50kg weightless freak that I was when I came to her.

Anyway, I felt so bad, I wanted to just collapse right there and then, but I controlled myself... I was thinking of my Mom... she might freak or something. When we were in the checkout, my Mom finally noticed. I was red! And not the ordinary red. I was red-red! Whatever. I was freakishly red.

We went home. I texted my doctor, said that I take Claritin, and so I did. Course, my Mom was already talking of ERs and cab trips, and calling all brotherly forces to convince me to get out of bed and we rush to Makati Med.

But I told them to hush and that we give Claritin, my new bestfriend, some time to work.

Hay... Claritin was a blast. I could have kissed her, gave her chocolates, and texted her non-stop, if she was just human.


Nway, enough about yesterday.

Lunchtime today was a nightmare. Well, after lunch.

I ate fish. Yeah, I'm THAT stupid. I ate tulingan. As soon as I was drinking my after lunch ampalaya tea (been addicted to tea since I found out it makes me burp, I've not been burping... i'm weird), Yaya said, "namumula ka."

uh-oh.

Scary allergy was back.

And it came back with a vengeance.

Every inch of my body was then covered in splotches of red. My face was freakishly beet-red. I immediately downed a Claritin. I checked my BP (130/70), and it seems fine. That's my normal BP. But then I saw my heartrate. It's a hundred and twenty. My normal heartrate was 70-80.

When I went to bed, my heart was beating so fast and so loud, it took all my strength not to shout for my mother to bring me to the ER already. Grabe, it was so scary. Not to mention, my right side was moving, feels like my new kidney is affected by it all. So that's double-scary!

I prayed and prayed, and then I fell asleep. Claritin makes me sleepy, as all other allergy meds do.

I woke up from the smell of my mother entering my room. Yeah, her smell. Maybe she was checking up on me, I don't know. But I didn't open my eyes. I slept again. When I did open my eyes, all I can think of was, THANK GOD.

My skin was back to normal, I didn't have the terrible headache, and I cannot hear my own heart pumping anymore.

That scary experience aside, I now declare that Claritin is my best ever friend in the whole world. *grins*

and bread... coz how can anyone be allergic to bread?

Never again will I eat tulingan or that sinful bangus sisig.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Rain... just go away.

If you think hard enough, some of the moments that captured
your senses will come back to you.





As I was sorting out my files, the rain noisily tapping on my window, drops of water coming down from my ceiling to my wet floor covered in scraps of paper, I came back to the times that I smelled the air exactly like how i'm smelling it now.

A day in Batangas... a day in Shangrila... a day in Tagaytay...

Previous trips with different people during different occasions.

What's difficult is, together with the smell of rain, the hurt came back to haunt me. And it came back with a flood of tears.

I got up and went to the veranda... Looked up and wished there were stars that night. Stars always made me a little happy. But today, the rain clouds them. I felt alone. I shivered and crawled under the blanket, closed my eyes, and pretended that it was not rain that was tapping on my window... that I was shivering from a different kind of cold... I chose to think of it, for I know it wouldn't bring back any memory.

As I drifted off to sleep, I tried to picture myself on top of a hill... twirling under all the glowing white...







It was snowing.












It did not rain today. But my floor's still wet. My ceiling still gives out little drops of water every now and then. Much like how pain resides in your heart, and chooses opportunities like a change in weather to make itself known.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Indian Burial Grounds

the site that's been keeping me mindfully alive the past few days, just closed.

:sigh:

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

TAGGED: Ian, Adrian, Erika, Mai, Basti, Anne, Poupe, Weng

THE RULES: People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse. You cannot tag the person who tagged you.


1. What would make your day worse?
--- if any of my kids get sick, like Anton is now.

2. At what age do/did you wish to settle down?
--- i settled way before I married. I shouldn't have.

3. What's your favorite genre in music?
--- basta hindi maingay sa tenga

4. What time did you sleep last night?
--- 9

5. What are you doing right now?
--- Answering this, listening to my kids fight over something.

6. Is there someone you're thinking of right now? Who?
--- No one.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
--- is it about me? if it is, then i do nothing. if it's about any of my loved ones, i panic.

8. If you were given a chance to choose a date for answering YES to your loved one what month is that?
--- i say yes everyday. and no, as well.

9. What makes your day complete?
--- good food -- amen to that!

10. List 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
--- ZARA: sexy, sexy, sexy. haha.

11. How do you cope with boredom?
--- go online.

12. Is there someone you love (d) who have hurt you in any way? Who?
--- husband. hurt me a lot in so many ways and in so many times.

13. What is your dream?
--- too much to do, so little time... hm... since i'm a teacher, i should be teaching years ago... and i'm dreaming of doing that soon.

14. If you have one wish, what would you wish for?
--- that i could turn back time... or just that i can lose 10 pounds... or just that i can have around 10M pesos right now... I could already have a good house, etc... with that.

15. Describe summer 08 in less than 10 words
--- hot

16. Do you believe that dreams do come true?, Why?
--- oo naman. some of mine did.

17. What will you do if your loved one ask you to go out??
--- san? ligo muna 'ko.

18. What do you look forward in 2008?
--- Harry Potter in November.

19. What song is playing in your head right now?
--- none

20. Who is your favorite singer?
--- a lot

21. Is there anything about you that you would like to share?
--- none that is interesting.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Be a tutor tomorrow!

Want to make a difference in the life of a child?
Come join us tutor some street children scholars of the He Cares Foundation
and let's show them that truly someone cares for them.
Start: Aug 2, '08 09:45a
End: Aug 2, '08 12:00p
Location: Back to the Bible bookstore, meeting place and then Bgy. Bungad Hall
We invite you to spend some time with the He Cares scholars of West Ave area, QC. We meet at 9.45 AM Back to the Bible bookstore on West Ave., Cor. EDSA and go to the Barangay Bungad Hall (assembly room) from there.

Please do come! No need to be a teacher or specially gifted academic prowess ;) just the willingness to help a kid in need.

Look for Christina (inside the bookstore).

What to bring:
story books (for gradeschool level), scratch paper, pens, worksheets for math etc, sense of humor and lots of smiles

(if late, Barangay Bungad directions:
From edsa turn right into street with stoplight (with a gas station). Turn right at the 2nd street. Follow the sign going to the barangay hall.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Tony Chronicles Part 6



Naubos na ang dating vitamins at pinalitan today ng bago.


Me: Uminom ka na ba ng vitamins mo?

Tony: Yes.

Me: Ows.... Sige nga, ano'ng name ng vitamins mo?

Tony: Tiki-Tiki!

Me: Tiki-Tiki ano? (Star)

Tony: Ah.... Eh...

Me: Tingnan mo na! Di mo alam... Tiki-Tiki ano? Starts with the letter S.

Tony: Sarap! Tiki-Tiki Sarap! (laughing)

Me: Hinde! Shape sya!

Tony: Hm.... Square! Tiki-Tiki Square!

Me: Ano ba?! Hindi square!

Tony: Sectangle? Tiki-Tiki Sectangle!

Me: Heh!

Tony: Ah... alam ko na... Tiki-Tiki Sircle! O, bakit, Ssss.... Sircle! S yun ah.

Me: Ay! ayoko na! Bahala ka jan! Punta na ko sa room ko!

Tony: Wait! Hindi na... Alam ko na... Star. (hagalpak ng tawa)

**grrrrrr......!**

Saturday, July 05, 2008

trust

should only be given to those you know really well.

do not learn the hard way.

Monday, June 30, 2008

I like change.

I woke up in the middle of the night and i went to the boys' room to check on them. I saw Dale's feet hanging from the bed to the floor. He's obviously too big to share a single-sized bed with Anton now.

When they woke up, both of them were sneezing and coughing. Since the room was small, the fan was too close to them, and this may cause them to catch cold during the night.

So I've decided to switch rooms with them. I now occupy the (wah!) small room, and they now can sleep more comfortably in my queen-sized bed. But of course, my clothes and other stuff are still in the big room, the only thing I can cram into this room was my laptop and a small vertical table with some of my essentials.

Oooh.... the sacrifices mothers make.

Friday, June 27, 2008

WEB Browser for PWAs

A web browser ZAC (Zone for Autistic Children) is now available. This was specially created by a grandfather of a child with autism.
The browser is meant for learning as well as entertainment . "...We have made this browser for the children - for their enjoyment, enrichment, and freedom. Children touch it, use it, play it, interact with it, and experience independence through ZAC.", a statement from the site.The browser is downloadable. Please click here to download

masaya ako.


kasi mabait ka sa kin.


masaya ako.

kasi ikaw ay ikaw.


may tayo...

kahit hindi tayo.

yey.


Create your own custom glitter graphic!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Children with "Dis"-abilities Workshop

*12th Flr RTRF, Allied Bank Center 6754 Ayala Ave Makati 1226*

*July 8, 2008 8:00 am*

*FACILITATOR: EVA ARNOTT (AUSTRALIA)

WORKSHOP Description:

Today, a rapidly growing number of children with "dis"-abilities have caused
a major concern not only for the family but also for the society, with
experts warning that they can become a further "burden" in the future
society. Being parents for children with ADHD, autism, dyslexia and other
"abnormalities, " a great amount of stress, effort, and financial as well as
psycho emotional support is required.

However, is it really that they are abnormal or is it that they function
outside what the society defines as "normal functional beings?" What if,
they are in fact persons with special talents and abilities, only to be
hampered and dampened, in order for us to understand and be able to function
as a "normal" person?

If you feel that you are embarrassed, harassed and/or disconnected to your
child or loved one, or you feel that they will not be able to take care of
themselves, because of their "dis"-abilities, we urge you to join us in our
1-day workshop and you might just find out that they are in fact as normal
as we are, it's just that their communication skills and behavior are a bit
out-of-the ordinary.

What if you can be able to communicate with them easily and therefore
relieve you of the stresses of everyday life with these "special" children?

Fees: P500 (includes lunch and snack)

*For further information:

*Pls call 7810677, 4139230*

*Or text 09192949679*

*Look for Melody*

"All of Life comes to us with Ease, Joy and Glory"

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Friday, June 13, 2008

I am obviously not a fan of X-Factor....


...but i learned to love Shayne Ward.

Friendship with God

I am a Catholic. I hear mass every Sunday. I pray. I was raised believing in hell and in heaven. In what God supposedly said was right and wrong. The 10 Commandments. The 7 Deadly Sins. The Eight Beatitudes. Forgiving seventy times seven times.

Through it all, I can say that I had my share of everything. Committing sin, repenting, helping others, forgiving a person more than once in his lifetime.

My life is a constant struggle. A seemingly never-ending test of patience, virtue, and strength. I have been on the verge of every imaginable breakdown in the last 33 years that I have breathed.

But I did breathed.

And in everytime I failed to acknowledge the presence of God as a friend I can trust to listen to my fears, I feel ashamed. Sometimes, eventhough you have poured everything to someone, like your bestfriend or a co-worker or your mother, you still feel the need to talk to someone who'll never judge, and will give you hope without even hearing them out loud.

I believe that God lives in all of us. We just need to find where He resides.

Throught my almost 3 years of being sick, from hearing the diagnosis, going through miracle healing masses, never-ending tests, drinking herbal medicines, dialysis, plasmapheresis, and the kidney transplant, until now, I have had many conversations with God. I've tried sadness, hoping, anger, asking questions, asking for help, strength, and most importantly, giving due thanks.

Now, after everything, I do feel blessed by Him. Not only with the way things have worked out, but by making me believe in the power of friendship and prayer.

I have lost my faith in God before because of all the trials in my life. I have gone to Him angry, and if I could throw a plate at Him, I think I would have. I have been hurt in every imaginable pain going through life that I thought it was all God's doing, testing me everytime.

But now, everything is moving towards its right place--my family, my marriage, Dale, my health. I feel that all I have asked for from Him are currently being answered. The phrase "in His time" answers all my questions.

In the three years I didn't let go. I thought that when things go wrong, I could just forget He existed. I thought praying to God and asking was all there was to it. When I tried treating God as my friend, that's when everything changed. And when things didn't work out, I didn't forget Him, I ranted and raved and asked too many questions, just like what you'd do with a friend.

I am living proof of God's mercy and grace. Start a friendship with the Lord. Seek Him, talk to Him, tell Him a story, laugh with Him, ask Him questions, get mad at Him, cry to Him, and then thank Him, for hearing you out.

Someday, you'll find that God is all the friend you need.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My Rs

Got this from Ian.

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, and things. Nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person who answered the survey before you had the same initial letter. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1.Your name: Rachelle

2.Four words: race, rice, reason, real

3.State/country: rio

4.Boy Name: ronald

5.Girl Name: roshyl

6.Occupation: real estate broker

7.Word that describes you the best: real

8.Something you can wear: relo (hahahaha)

9.Something found in a kitchen: raisin

11.Something you shout: ronald!!!! (in an angry, non-erotic way, ok?)

12.Something you do at school: run

13.Name of a friend: red

14.Name of an animal: rhino

15.Name of a drink: rhum

16.Name of a holiday: rizal day

17.Name of a subject in school: religion

18.Name of a cousin: Ronna

19.Name of a fast food chain: red ribbon?

20.Name of a person you're crushing or had a crush on: ronald (isn't this just plain convenient? nyehehehe)

21.Name of a food you like: radish

22.Name of a food you do not like: raisins

23.Name of a kid's toy: robot

24.Name of a flowering plant: rose

25.Name of a shopping mall: robinson's

26.Name of a person you like: rosie

27.Name of a person you dislike: (don't have one I personally know that I dislike)

28.Name of a place in your school: reading room?

29.Name of an object in front of you: ring

30.Name of an electronic device: remote

31.Name of a color: red

32.Name of a tourist spot: rio

33.Name of your classmate: Romelyn

34.Brand of a car: Rolls

36.Name of a candy: reese's

37.Name of a book: Reaching out

38.Name of a cellphone brand: (wala akong alam, at wala din akong maresearch)

39.Name of a sickness: rheumatism? hehe.

40.Name of a kind of fish: rockfish

41. Make a sentence with at least 6 words starting with your first letter name only.
Reich religiously runs 'round Remington Road. (daya, di ba? hehehehe)



According to studies, your sexual identity is revealed by the first letter of your first name... what do you think? (Those of you with names that start with "N" will probably wish it started with "K"!)

-R-
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not beg, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate. (naks. parang totoo ah.)