Saturday, April 26, 2008

paranoid.

(my pretty daughter, 3rd from left, and her friends)

I went to the children's school yesterday and had them enrolled. I realized right then that I now have a daughter in high school. I felt a little queasy. This is the moment when you realize that you're about to get a tremendous perpetual headache.

Without her dad to help me guide her... hundred images came to mind. Her weight down to normal. She, on the phone all the time. Her grades dropping. Her attitude, rude. Her allowance rising. Her hairstyle changing. Her language a little off. She, coming home late.

And BOYS. And then, I kinda hyperventilated.

I'm screwed.

But then again, I thought, those were a little negative. I really have to learn to trust in her and what she can be. Even if she is so pasaway, she still does her best in school, and at home.

Her friendster profile has been growing, and sometimes I kinda get mad at her for things she writes on her shoutout or what she comments, but she's being cautious now. Yes, I allowed her a friendster account (and all those online thingies), provided I can check on what she's doing there (and I do so, almost everyday).

You still cannot blame me for being paranoid, though. She's bigger than me, and heavy, but boys have been hanging around her already. I remember when she was in Grade 4, someone already gave her flowers (which she threw in the trash). And if she said she hates boys before, now, it's a different story. Before I asked her if she has suitors already, she said "Wala noh!" Now, she said "wala pa nga eh...."

OMG.

I really am screwed.

God help me.