Monday, August 31, 2009

TTC Volume 2

Sibling Rivalry, according to the net, is some sort of a competition or animosity between brothers and/or sisters.

Having three children, I have witnessed different kinds of SR within my kids. With Tony, it always streams from jealousy, especially with Dale. My kids fight, they talk back, they say nasty things. Slight physical attacks are also involved.

Being a working mother, it's very difficult to handle SR. I have tried different kinds of discipline, and most of them only works for a short while.

One thing that I am sure of is, they only show their "true colors" at home and within familial presence. If you talk to their teachers, they say that my kids are very behaved in school. Anea and Tony both got Best in Conduct awards from their old school.

Even if they fight, I am sure that they love each other. It shows when one is down or have encountered difficulties especially in school. They try to encourage one another, especially when it involves Dale.

Tony is a menace to Dale, but if Dale is not at home, he misses him and asks for him. That goes the same for Dale.

Anyway, here is one example of how my children "hate" one another:

While we were going out of the house to go to Pasay Mall (to eat at Mang Inasal--a treat), we peeked in at Tito Erick's abode and saw Mika (Erika's dog) and she began barking at us.

I said "Bakit ganyan si Mika, nagbago na... dati naman hindi ganyan yan."

Tony: Oo nga. Sa kin din ganyan yan eh.

Anea: Sa kin hindi. Mabait yan sa kin.

Tony (matter-of-factly): Evil dog--Evil Sister.... makes perfect sense.

and the four of us laughed all the way to the mall.

Friday, August 28, 2009

I'm a Coward.

It has been known that Dale has been afraid of a handful of things. The rain was the first which surfaced. Until now, when it rains, I always think if Dale is doing okay in school. I have been worried for almost seven years now. I cannot help worrying over him, especially when I am not with him.

That is, until today.

When we were about to watch the Dolphin show at Ocean Adventure (Subic), one of the coordinators approached us and asked if we were willing to let Dale be a volunteer for the Dolphin Encounter portion. Of course, I have to ask Dale first. He thought for a moment and said yes. I told the coordinator that we'll give it a try.

I was worried about the ramp where he is going to walk on because it's just some sort of a float. But he walked slowly but bravely, and told us he can do it. I caught him on video practicing the moves he would have to make. Still, I cannot help worrying. You can hear me saying his name on video, worried that he might go over the fence, spinning like he was. I went back to my seat, because I'm not allowed to be with him, and then waited, wishing that everything will be fine.

Then, as if God was making fun of me.... it rained.

I ran back to the holding deck and told the coordinator that Dale was scared of the rain, so if she can please let me in, and that if she can find someone else.

And then I thought, maybe this is not God making fun of me, but God pushing Dale to go further showing him that there is nothing to be afraid of.

I then told her to talk to Dale first if he's willing to get wet in the rain.
She came back with a smile and said that Dale thought for a moment and said yes.

With more than a hundred people about to watch my son... they started watching me as I prayed. I said, please do not make it harder for him than it already is.... watching the other side of the sky... seeing the rain falling harder there... about to come to us still...

He came on the ramp without a care.

He went almost on the edge possibly without fear.

He touched the dolphin with careful hands.

He snapped his hand back when they said he could touch the dolphin's tongue.

He made them dance.
He made them dive.

All of these he did without me by his side.

At that moment, it felt like God was laughing in the heavens and telling me... "See? There really was nothing to be afraid of."

Because at that moment, I realized, I was the one who was scared.

Dale was there to make me brave, because he already is.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Turning Japanese

WARNING: Those with severe allergies sa "kabaduyan"... do not read!

I remember the time that Meteor Garden became very popular here. I remember my supervisor, Mel. She was so crazy about them F4. I didn't watch the series, didn't even care. I thought what's the fuss about? Sure, they may be cute. But I really couldn't picture myself watching it, waiting for each episode.

Kung meron man akong hilig about Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese, and Japanese.... eh yung pagkain! Hahahaha... Yung maki, sushi, kimchi, noodles, miso soup, kani, at kung ano-ano pa... kahit araw-araw mo kong pakainin niyan, solb!

and then came Lee Min Ho.

Deym! I felt like I was clutching a flagpole, and down came lightning from the sky, leaving me with a star-like scar. The first time I watched BOF, all I could of was how funny he was... yes, funny! Grabe, super babaw ko to the max. May poster pa nga ako ng lintek na yan sa kwarto ko eh. Pinagsasapantahan! *wahahahahahaha!*

So, I watched some more... and came to a point where I cannot wait for the next day... so I went out and got myself a DVD. I finished it in a day or two. It was very romantic.... *blush* and then, I couldn't just stop there, could I? Me... the human that will not rest until she gets answers. haha.

I wanted to compare BOF to Meteor Garden, so I went back, bought MG DVD, and found out, there was a Japanese version, Hana Yori Dango, so I bought that one, too.

That's when I started to realize.... I want to become a Japanese in my next life. *LOL* Gusto ko lang dun yung ka-kyut-an nung mga gamit... nung mga damit nila... at least kung nasa Japan ka, di ka papansinin kapag nag-boots ka... dito, stand-out! haha. tsaka basta ang cute ng mga things dun... so kawaii!!!

I found Hana Yori Dango to be intense. MG to be too dragging (masyadong mahaba and maraming drama). BOF was light and funny and I guess, better.... coz they have better-looking guys.

From then on, I came back to the shop and bought some more DVDs. Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean... hay. I couldn't get enough of them series. And I don't like the Tagalized versions. I want the original ones, coz I found out that words and thoughts get lost in translation.

What I like about them? Of course, for starters, new faces to see... new places to wonder... and new stories! Before, I haven't thought about vacationing abroad, now I wish I could go to those Asian countries and see all the places I saw in those series... I also began thinking why we didn't stick with alibata... their alphabet and writings are beautiful!

Don't get me wrong, I do watch Filipino teleseryes when I have time... What I don't like is waiting day by day for it to finish. With DVDs, I can just finish it in a span of 1 week if I'm busy, and a day if I'm not... and that's 14, 16 hours straight. Grabe, noh?

I'm done with Ms. No Good which is currently being shown... and it was funny.

Anyway, I have at least learned how to be open to new things, new cultures, new people, new languages, and new feelings... kahit sa DVD man lang.

Eto yung mga napanood ko na:

Friday, August 14, 2009

i'm gonna rant for a bit, ok?

i have been working for just 4 mos and i am now dead tired. i cannot blame anyone but me.

a year after the transplant and here i am, trying to do too many things all at the same time. i teach 3 kindergarten classes in a traditional preschool, and of the 71 students i handle, only about a quarter of them i totally love.

people always think that all children, regardless of whatever, are lovable. i guess, in a way, that is true.... if you are only handling 1 or just 10 children at a time.

but try to be with 25 kids in a situation like mine (including the environment -- noisy and humid) and i am sure that you can "hate" every one of them when they begin to be these little devils in pig-tailed disguises. when the other children from the other classes go crazy, of course, my kids also go loco.

i am to blame, coz i was very eager to teach that i have taken any other issues for granted. the environment i'll be in... the work hours i have to render... the pay... the people i am to work with. not that i don't find them good to work with/for... but sometimes, you think of all the things that could have been better and would have made my (our) teaching lives easier.

don't get me wrong... i am grateful of the experience. i have learned a lot in 4 mos, but no one is perfect and i am entitled to feel this way. *laughs*

just today, she told me that i was teaching/going too fast... that i have covered a lot already. i didn't answer coz i was thinking, how could i know what to teach at what time if she didn't give us a copy of the curriculum, or just what to teach for the month or week?

what she did before was dictate to us the things we need to tackle, and what i did was to plot them on a calendar... and i don't think that (based on what she dictated) i was going too fast coz all the concepts are within the scheduled semester. i know that i am going a little fast coz we're now halfway through our books, but that's what she dictated, and i am an obedient big bitch so i followed. so now, i'm scratching my head thinking where i went wrong and what i could do about it. and i dare not ask her coz *pointing to self* "me=bitch" haha!

aside from the classroom humidity and noise issues, there is also the issue of materials and equipment. sure, there are toys, manila paper, and stuff. but all materials should be teacher-made. and i mean ALL of them... even the pocketcharts! i have to make them from scratch. in this day and age of Teacher's Pet materials (endorsement!), i mean, how much will it cost the church/school to make our lives a little bit easier, and make the children's learning more interesting? even my brand-new CD player is not working! how can i use music to enhance learning then? If I could play the guitar, then it would not be a problem, but i couldn't. i told her about it and she told me that it's not her problem. what the??! so now i go acapella. seesh....

i don't know, i just couldn't get it. when i was doing my practicum, i thought that this is the profession i am suited for, but now, i am beginning to doubt myself.

aside from teaching, of course, my MA classes are also taking a toll on me. i now am thinking of just taking 2 subjects next semester. being in school the whole day and having to prepare for reports are tiring as well. when i am teaching, i am also thinking of my unfinished reports.

and then there are the kids. MY kids, of course. They go home everyday, shoving pieces of paper in my face. "(Tony) Buy a big soap for Makabayan!.... I just got 17/20!!! argh!!!..... I have this freakin' research to pass tomorrow, Ma, so I have to use the PC (Anea, of course).... Mum, I need a Filipiniana costume....(Dale)"

and then all I ask in return is always this: "Kelan kailangan to?/When do you need it?"

And the worst answer a busy mother could hope to hear--"bukas na./Tomorrow!"

Them kids... they think that I am a miracle worker! After waking up at 5am... being at work around 6:30am and leaving at 4pm.... they think that i have a magic wand somewhere to conjure a Filipiniana costume in a jiffy that they can wear tomorrow.

And what's with the soap for Makabayan? They have to carve it with a design. The teacher said, it is one of the "pantahanan" businesses you can do. Huh? And of course, Tony cannot possible handle that one coz he's allergic to ordinary soap (he can only use extra sensitive Dove that my Dad sends from the US and I won't have him use our stash for a project) so I have to do it myself. Thank God, Tony is all about simplicity. "Just carve my name there...." *sneezes*

Not to mention, Dale and Tony getting sick. After Dale's partial seizure last Friday, I had to bring him to the doctor for an EEG (which turned out normal) and I couldn't take my midterm exam in ECE 502. If my prof is to give me a special tomorrow, I am sure to flunk it coz i haven't had the time to check my notes. I haven't even finalized my report for ECE 501 yet.


So now, I am online and not doing anything worthwhile but this, and listening to people chant their gay contender's name outside our house since it's the Feast day of our Patron Saint on Sunday, so fiesta dito and a gay pageant is being held. In front of our house, no less. And with contestants that have bigger boobs than mine.

God. Help me.